What attracts/draws/pulls you toward some groups,associations,organizations,memberships? What repels you from others?

by StoneWall 8 Replies latest jw friends

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  StoneWall

  In light of whats been going on in the last few days it got me to thinking about what is it that drives us to want to be a part of something and yet reject other things.

  For instance for me I highly value words such as truth,facts,honor,integrity,liberation and find that I'm attracted to endeavors which pursue these things.

  So for me personally, JWFacts.com was a website I felt drawn to because it appealed just in name only at first, but then the more I read the better I liked it.

  But the first thing had to be the name to get me drawn in to investigate.

  Next I thought of Randy's site that I like called FreeMinds.org
  Just the name sounded so liberating,so refreshing from all the control that I experienced as a JW.

  Also I got to browsing my bookmark page and realized that the vast majority of my bookmarks were mainly sites that dealt with facts such as Nasa.gov, various News websites and history etc.

  Then I started wondering about why there are some websites others liked but I wasn't that impressed with them.
  What did they see that was interesting to them or of value in their eyes?

  What draws you to a company/corporation, or a cause or what is it that makes you want to either get involved with something or pass?
  What has to be apparent right at the start to make you even care to look into it?

  What would be some things that would be a big warning light and if you saw would hinder you from joining?

  Feedback on any of these questions is appreciated.
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  Amelia Ashton

  When exiting I was very nervous. Ex-jw reunited was the most non-confrontational. It is a very gentle site and where I found most of my ex jw friends. It is less about analysing JW doctrine and falsehoods etc and much more about feelings, coping and support.
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  Stubborn Disbeliever

  In general, I look for possible friends. With the JWs when I was in growing up, because of the power of my family, I knew SO many people and we were always having company and going out. I didn't have any "true" friends (besides Gojira, obviously) and have found that out over the years. I long for companionship (marriage doesn't count, especially since we are pretty much just staying quietly civil for the kids), so anything that seems to offer conversation, friendship, and different interactions will hook me. (JWN here, as an example.) As soon as things start to seem a little "off" to me, I fade out or just leave (certain online mom forums that are nothing buy childish drama whores).

  I think it's the friendship and seeing true joy with groups and people. The local farmers markets are another example. We used to be pretty active in purchases for a few local businesses, and it was a pleasure because you could just see the way they enjoyed what they did. I guess it's just a gut feeling instinct for me. It's not always right (remember, I was Mormon for a bit), but gives me lessons and experiences that I need at that time.

  Not sure if that's the answer you're looking for, but that's how I took the question.
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  wha happened?

  I look at all organizations with a grain of salt.
• 

  StoneWall

  Stubborn Disbeliever said:

  Not sure if that's the answer you're looking for, but that's how I took the question

  Really there's not a particular answer I'm looking for because we each have our own likes/dislikes.
  It's more along the lines of what captures your interest enough to want to be a part of something. I think your reply was satisfactory.
  So looking over your response the things you look for are friendships and companionship. That is what motivates you then. (Your examples of JWN and local farmers market help to illustrate this)

  wha happened? said:

  I look at all organizations with a grain of salt.

  I can understand this because I do as well to an extent. But the fact we both are posting on this forum shows that something caught our attention enough to check it out, then something held value enough to make us want to stick around.
  What do you think it was? (The obvious answer is it had a direct connection to JW's but so do other sites)
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  StoneWall

  Just to elaborate a bit more on why I'm even asking these questions, in the probably not to distant future I stand to inherit some extra funds (unless I die first) and had some ideas about how to use them but was curious of what grabs others attention/interest enough to check something out.

  Thats why there's really no "wrong answer" to these questions.
  Just something for me to gauge from especially since so much has been said in last few days regarding positive/negative ways of setting things up.
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  tornapart

  I'm attracted to the ones which use common sense and logic, lack negativity and show mutual respect. Negativity, aggression, activism etc. repel me.
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  Ucantnome

  i just dont want to do all the things im supposed to be doing.
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  Band on the Run

  I am a skeptic with good reason. Now I focus on individual activities. I despise controlling self anointed leaders. Group consensus is important. I try to find people with as much to lose as I do.. Another factor is I try to team with someone in a related or different field so I can see a broader view.