A New World for Me

by compound complex 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    So weary I was from a walk in the woods
    that I lay to rest at the foot of an alder tree,
    finding sweet repose on a cool nest of leaves.

    The air, both fragrant and warm, lulled me gently
    to a needed sleep (I welcomed it gladly) and told
    me that she would awaken me in a very short while.

    To that blissful state of a flowing mind I succumbed and
    awaited her promise that, in due course, the time should
    come when I would arise refreshed, prepared to carry on.

    Dreaming away that the air had turned chill,
    I awoke with a start, black hail on my face and
    my clothes all awash with an unheralded drench.

    The sky had turned dark (for hours had I slept), but
    for moon blurred by mist and stars draped by a shroud
    that presaged to this man some great terror lay nearby.

    In slow counter-motion, as viewed in deep southern climes,
    the black water's center spun and swirled till, at length, once
    placid liquid caved with deafening roar to an abyss near to Hell.

    I threw myself backward to a boulder lichened a verdigris hue,
    praying its stolid stance would at one with me become, halting a
    fatal slip unto a land of black and gloom, one prepared just for me.

    Trembling, useless hands grabbed behind me in futile effort to latch
    onto the permanence of stone to earth held fast through eons of erosive
    assaults, and one more: mine of grabbing and clawing and begging my God.

    Soon did it seem the Devil's own maelstrom had no desire for my wretched soul;
    this man's descent to the realm below stopped short while the sky funneled down.

    Topsy-turvy had my world become, a microcosm compared to this shifting of heaven
    to earth, earth to heaven that paraded past an irrelevant man who happened to be on
    scene when the cosmic sweep of heaven's mighty luminaries was wrought, channeling

    Celestial vaults downward, downward into a lake unlike any other on the vast but limited
    expanse of an orb chosen, I would guess, to serve as receptacle of an unfolding new world
    of bright and glory: misty moon shines forth, enshrouded stars glow anew for this little man.

  • Stubborn Disbeliever
    Stubborn Disbeliever

    Wow! Love it! Thank you for sharing!

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Thank you, Stubborn Disbeliever, and welcome to the forum!

    I appreciate your reply. Strange, I guess, how we all have a different perspective on that so-called New World.

    All the best.

    CoCo

  • BizzyBee
    BizzyBee

    Coco, do you ever submit to the New Yorker? I read their poems all the time - yours is every bit as good.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Thank you, Mrs. Bee, for commenting.

    No, I haven't submitted anything to The New Yorker, though it serves as a touchstone for my work as editor. The above will be published next month; it's currently being reviewed by a band of editors.

    Food for thought . . .

    With gratitude,

    CoCo

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    It's not so much that I wanted to die; I simply did not want to live. The hope of living forever -- while an impetus to my strained level of endurance of trials in "the present system of things" -- frequently seemed insufficient to bolster my flagging spirit. Yet, wasn't my own loving and generous earthly father, who never failed me in any respect, an example of what Jehovah Himself would do for me, even if I must wait a bit longer?

    Stop thinking of myself and consider the spiritual needs of others; find happiness and fulfillment by having "a meaningful share" in the field service. But study of the Society's publications is a prerequisite to sharing in the Watch Tower Service in said "meaningful" way. I felt inadequate (not to mention confused) insofar as expertly explaining the convoluted theological constructs of Brooklyn's Oracle. Would it be wrong simply to carry a Bible out in the Watch Tower Service and search out individuals who would find pleasure in hearing words of comfort from Jesus or those of the repentant David in the Psalms?

    I wanted so much to do only that, but to ignore the lovingly prepared presentations of God's faithful steward was tantamount to doing things my own way. I was so conflicted that I became paralyzed by negative emotion and ceased serving Jehovah shoulder-to-shoulder with the fearless, confident and unquestioning publishers of the Kingdom.

    There was no purpose to life but to serve our Heavenly Father as understood and explained by those who look out for the interests of the now reigning King, Jesus Christ. I wanted to talk about him, but if I could not present the Society-approved portrayal of the King upon his established throne, what would be the point?

    Finding comfort in family, friends and my passionate interests could not assuage my guilt-ridden soul. A servant of Jehovah finds fulfillment through study, field service and prayer. All the rest is a cheap substitute for the works of faith that promise true contentment in the now and hold promise for the life that is to come. Say that over, and over and over and you will believe it . . .

    I did not want to live -- it hit me -- because I did not qualify as a true servant of the Almighty God (who can be properly understood and explained only through his approved servant). Jesus Christ was not permitted to mediate on my behalf. My desire to serve Jehovah and help the sorrowing of this doomed world was of itself not enough if I failed to work through His Channel.

    "The road leading to life is narrow and, apparently, I do wish to follow it . . ."

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