JW's would rather have "wordly" people at their parties...

by nolongerconfused 5 Replies latest jw friends

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  nolongerconfused

  So...I have been completely out for 6 months, never DF'd, just completely faded...My wife is still 100% active...turns out one of her cousins who is also an active witness is having their birthday...ahem, graduation party this summer.

  My wife told me she wouldn't feel "comfortable" if I attend their parties/gatherings because I don't go to the meetings LOL

  So she and her cousin are planning the graduation party as I type, and they are talking about inviting their school friends etc etc. My wife told her it's OK to invite her wordly friends lol...She even said she invited wordly people to our wedding, which is true...

  So I'm just sitting here shaking my head haha...These people would rather have fornicators, drunks etc at their parties, but they are not comfortable with a person like ME?...a person that has found and believes in Christ, is not a drunk, is faithful to his wife, treats everyone with respect???

  Poor people, they can't see their own hypocrisy...

  Have you gone through something similar?
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  Julia Orwell

  Probably making a statement, that you're informally dfd. Very hypocritical imho.
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  Phizzy

  It is amazing is it not ? I am experiencing similar hypocrisy. My JW family will happily invite non/never JW relatives to weddings etc, we do not get an invite.

  As it happens, we wouldn't go anyway as too many JW's in a room (any number above nil) and we do not wish to be there, but it would be polite to offer, and we could then send presents as appropriate.

  We are seen as too much of a "spiritual danger" I think, Tee Hee.
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  Jaidubdub

  I remember this so-called spiritual sister was having a party at a bar in town (its very common to do this sort of thing amoung the jw's here).There one girl who was an unbaptised sister who was really nice & genuine. We were very close friends. She came in contact thru door to door work & was eager to be baptised. She was vigilant with her per study, all meeting & never missed a month of witnessing. She put us all so-called active jws to shame!! None of her family were in the truth and she also had the responsibility of looking after her ailing parents & was working full time (including overtime) to make ends meet. She had a lot on her plate. She approached the elders to get baptised after a year of doing everything she should, but the elders told her she wasn't giving enough to the truth even though that's all she was able to do. She continued to do as much she could, but each time she approached the elders, its was the same story, "you got to do more". This spiritual sister told me she wasn't going to invite her to her party because after a year of studying, she should be baptised, she wasn't spiritual enough. She also went round telling everyone to stay away from her coz she's bad association. I had a very heated argument with this jdub, telling her she had no right to judge anyone like that. How ironic that at her party she had invited many that had not only left the truth or were inactive, but also some worldly ppl. Talk about being hypocritical & judgemental!

  Sign of the true religion? Ummm... I think not....
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  PaintedToeNail

  nolongerconfused-Maybe your wife doesn't want to deal with the inevitable questions she will get later: 'Why doesn't your husband come to meetings', 'How is your husband? We haven't seen him since the party', and the secret mumblings of 'If he can go to a party, he can come to meetings'.

  When I was married to my first husband, people used to ask me all the time, "How is Dick? We miss him". I would try to come up with some excuse. Finally, I just answered truthfully, "He doesn't fee like coming" or "Why don't you tell him yourself you miss him? Our phone number is XXX-XXXX", the questions soon stopped, and nobody missed him enough to make an effor to call him. He was an ass, so I understand that. But their questioning put me in a very uncomfortable position of trying to make up something to make him look like he was too sick to come. Maybe your wife is getting those same questions now, and doesn't want to deal with more. You could always tell her to tell the truth to the inquiring people, "nolongerconfused doesn't feel like coming', it will cause the questioner to feel embarassed and they will stop asking for fear of getting a truthful answer.
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  keynumber

  I've been, was, or whatever raised as one of JW's. Growing up as one of JW's I always was or groomed to have a heartfelt love and goals in the service of JW's.. went (servived, served,) in bethel 4 years..

  Being in the spanish, they always went to rediculous views on gatherings...one would say "going to the parks for gatherings was opening your way to bad association" So in this hall we would just go across town. And of course there was the weddings, anniversrys, congregation picnics, jw family (very little not witnesses) etc....As time went by large groups were discouraged, causeing feelings to be hurt, "of course with the direction of the "Faithfull and desceet and any elder that wanted to rid and keep the congregation clean of satanic influence. And of course you always had that certain brother, in many cases being the son of prominant elder and worked in the back in the book/magazine room who was a party animal which every one knew but did't cross that area because of his 'father' haveing alot of 'pull, influence, power unquestionably'.

  Of course thru time I was Df'd, ( reasons unrelated to what I mentioned)

  So I end up on the other side of the tracks...

  I remember clearly my first gathering. A 'wordly party' (df'd and other of us heathens worldly or not) Totallly only groomed to JW gatherings, (remember the party word is not used

  Anyway alcohol and drugs, the ladies all present and before the night was over there were fights I was totally shocked and my ***** was popped.

  I can see the paradoxes of both.