Death of a girl, a memory that still hurts.

Tammie

I don't know where to start. Around the late 80's or early 90's I can't remember exactly. My family and I (mom and sisters) went to a congregation get together. There we played games, ate, and well you get the general idea. Then we came to the part where we was starting a volley ball game. Two persons became captains, and they picked people to play on their teams. The last two people standing there was a girl named Peggy and myself. After she was picked. They just stood there and looked at me. No one had picked me. So I left. I was so hurt not being included on a team to play. I left and went home, crying.
Mom asked why I was leaving. I told her that I wanted to get on with my job. At the time I cleaned offices. The was a Saturday. I was hurt and angry.
Now I must tell you all that I can not stay mad or angry very long at any one person. At the most, about an hour or less.
(Now there are some exceptions. But I am not going to talk about that.)
Now lets fast forward to 4 days later (Wednesday). At the time Wed. was one of my biggest cleaning days. I had 4 places to clean (aprox. 8 hours of work- usually got done around 2 am Thursday morning)
I had only gotten started about 1/2 way through cleaning a bank. When mom called. She said that "Peggy, was killed in an auto accident." So I stopped what I was doing and went straight home. We went up to Kansas City, to a hospital. Her brother was in the same accident. He had been life flighted to the hospital. They did not know if he would survive.
He had just bought his first car earlier that day. His parents told him not to take the car out until they could make the car legal to drive (tags and insurance). He waited until after his mom and dad left home and asked his sister if she would like to take a ride. He was only going to drive it down their dirt road and bring the car right back. They would be gone only a few minutes. They got about 5 minutes from their house when he lost control of his car (dirt road), and it rolled. In the process his sister was thrown out of the car, and the car rolled right over her. She was killed instantly. She was only 12 years old at the time. (She was also the same age as my sister.)
Now this family was also very important to my family. I had baby sat for them, and her mom was one of my closest friends.
On Friday, they had the visitation. To make matters worse I had a talk to give at the kingdom hall afterwards. I did not want to do my part. But mom said that I had to full fill my responsibilities. It was the worst talk I ever gave. I was crying during the whole part. Let's just say I was given very bad marks from the elder. He had told me, during the meeting. That the death of Peggy should not be an excuse for being so sloppy in handling our parts for the meetings. That was the last talk I was ever assigned to do.

Angharad

((((Tammie)))) sorry for the loss of your friend

That the death of Peggy should not be an excuse for being so sloppy in handling our parts for the meetings

Thats a disgusting thing for him to say to you

Billygoat

((((Tammie))))

*shaking head* I just cannot get over the callous disregard for life and mourning these people have. It literally makes me feel ill. I'm so sorry you had to experience that, especially at such a young age. Children are so innocent and don't understand how to cope. Makes me so angry that these adults don't even try to teach the basic emotional survival skills here. Arrrgggg!

Andi

Hmmm

Wow, I don't even know where to begin.

That has got to be one of the most callous things I've ever read in my life. I don't imagine he could have been more hurtful had he tried.

I wonder if now, ten years later, he'd even remember uttering such a stupid thing. If he does, he'd probably think he was just being a good school overseer.

What a good little soldier. His masters must be proud of him.

Hmmm

one

lack of human feelings (elder)

jw either have a predisposition to develop that actitude or what?

When Fred Franz's father died he had no intention of going to the funeral but to stay at the HQ,

you get an idea of jw mindset, nothing new, corporate culture showing all they down

I have seen it many times, makes me sick and furious everytime

LyinEyes

Hi Tammie, sorry about what happened to little Peggy. But what they did to you was very wrong. That is something JW will not allow , proper mourning of loved ones, that is why it still hurts you so much today, you didnt get to mourn like you should have. My mother was a witness for 16 yrs and was d/f for about four months when she committed suicide. Not a soul came to her funeral, not even for my sake, I was in good standing. It just goes to show you how evil they are, they miss the mark on what a true Christian is really about. After all these years since my moms death I am finally showing some emotion about it, and it is not always pleasant. I am so angry now, angry at brothers who did me the way they did you. They are in essense saying, get over it already! I hate them so much for what they are doing to so many all over the world . They will have to answer to God for what they have done and even for what they have failed to do. God bless you , and maybe you can visit Peggy's grave and just let it all out , about how you feel. I plan on going to my mothers grave on Mother's day, it will be the first time I have gone since I left the JW's . I am kinda scared but I think it will do me a world of good. Plus I will have all of my catholic family there and we can all sit around and remember the good times. It is a tradition my family does, which as a jw i never did, to go to the graves and show honor to the dead ones . They has a mass, and grave cleaning and put fresh flowers out . It is like a family reunion , with the dead loved ones gone , but not forgotten. Plus we have a big family meal,
everything about the day is to remember our loved ones. We need to be able to express our loss, our sadness, when we do that then we can have some sort of peace.

bigfloppydog

Tammie, so sorry for this tragic loss, i feel sad for you. How truly insensitive some people can be. My thoughts are with you and your friends. Take care.

Joyzabel

(((Tammie))),
I'm sorry you had to give your talk after such a horrendous event in your life. How absolutely bizarre the behavoir expected by the jws.

I agree with LyinEyes to help yourself grieve and heal from it.

hubs,
j2bf

Death of a girl, a memory that still hurts.

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