What would Emily Post say??

by ChakkaConned 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • ChakkaConned
    ChakkaConned

    Last week I received a wedding invitation in the mail from an elder's daughter whose getting married next month. Being on the outer social fringe of the congregation for 20 years and recently missing quite a few meetings, I was abit surprised to receive an invitation from her. The invitation is to attend the wedding(only) at the KH without a mention of the reception which I found out is being held at a separate private location afterwards. This is the third *wedding ONLY* that I have been invited to by some elder's kid without an invite to the reception. Well...WTF?? Am I supposed to feel honored by these invitations? I remember that the society wrote an article about this years ago saying that it was proper if the couple should choose to exclude some from their reception because of money concerns, etc. and that no one should become offended if not invited to the reception but the ceremony itself is the main focus. What a crock! None of these families had/have money problems. I think it is an excuse to exclude the inconsequential ones in the congregation and those who are not in their elite social circle. It also means that a gift is still required and gladly accepted since you were invited to the wedding. Is it just me or is this one of the most insulting and rude scenerios that they could come up with? Who wants to go to a wedding and then skulk home immediately after as most everyone else heads for the big party?? I think the lesser evil would be to simply not invite the person to either if they're not invited to both. I have never heard of another group of people doing this and I've never been invited to a worldly wedding and not been invited to the reception as well. What a bunch of snobby whacko's. Needless to say, I won't be attending nor will I send a gift. For all I care, they could have saved on the postage and bought an extra petit four for their *exclusive* reception.

    Anyone else experienced this?

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    I tried to attend my sister's wedding reception. After I arrived an elder whispered something into my dad's ear, then my dad told me that I had to leave "in order to maintain unity." He also mumbled something about not eating with sinners and such.

    That’s right... kicked out his son in order to "maintain unity".

    If anyone is wondering... NO, I did not do anything disruptive. I walked in with a smile, friendly greetings, and a nice gift.

    "As every one knows, there are mistakes in the Bible" - The Watchtower, April 15, 1928, p. 126
    Believe in yourself, not mythology.
    <x ><

  • spender
    spender

    usually it's the stuck-up witnesses that pull that sort of crap. I think witnesses feel that they'll be looked down on if they have "worldly" people at the reception...but all of my sisters had worldly people at their weddings and i didn't see any problem with that. It was a little awkward, but that was probably because i was on the inside looking out ;)

  • spender
    spender

    i do know that those disfellowshipped are not allowed to receptions though. They're allowed to the wedding itself since it's supposedly a public event (though the elders in my area were even causing a fit about that...my disfellowshipped sister was going to be at the wedding), but she wasn't allowed to come to the reception...not even to sit at a table by herself. That upset me a lot..

  • flower
    flower

    Look on the bright side..the dub wedding receptions that I have been to have been by far the most boring events ever. Might as well go to a circuit assembly lol.

    flower

  • pandora
    pandora

    I have to say that this is one of the worst policies ever. Your right, they are fishin' for a gift. I think the invite should be sent back with some scathing remark. Like, "Get real! You want a gift? HAHA!! It's the entire event or no event!!!" I don't know. Something like that. This just urks me to death!!! I know it's not considered taking the high road, but damnit! It is a slap in the face to get an invite like that. Just once, I wanna slap 'em back!!!!!
    Done Ranting.
    -P(J)

  • Xander
    Xander

    Straaaange custom.....

    I was never under the impression an invite to a wedding meant a gift was expected.

    Receptions, yes, but weddings? Really?

    Thinking, thinking.....

    Hmmmm...dunno. I have been to two wordly weddings - both had the 'gift table' at the reception hall (of course, I was a good JW and didn't go to the wedding, so I don't know if there was one at the wedding). One witness wedding, gift table at the hall. Three witness weddings outside the hall (mine included) - reception in the same location though, so....??

    What's the typical custom for this?

    Xander F
    (Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America - Ohio order)

    A fanatic is one who, upon losing sight of his goals, redoubles his efforts.
    --George Santayana

  • pandora
    pandora

    Invite means gift. period. If you were invited, you send a gift, even if you can't make it. No matter what they invite you to.
    At least, that's what I was told. Could be wrong. You never know, considering my source. <Nevermind>
    -P(J)

  • ThiChi
    ThiChi

    Don't forget to bring a gift.............

  • out4good3
    out4good3

    usually it's the stuck-up witnesses that pull that sort of crap.


    NOt just the stuck up witnesses. I think also that when this happens it's sometimes the elders or some other male JW dominatrix on an ego trip that get's his jollies out of yanking the chains of the weaker members under the guise of spiritual purity. It seems that even in that setting, the support of the bride and groom is usurped by what "looks good" in the eyes of the congregation.

    Your right, they are fishin' for a gift. I think the invite should be sent back with some scathing remark.

    That's exactly what they're shamelessly doing, although in their warped mind they're bound to define it some other way. If it was me getting an invite like that, I'd not even waste a stamp sending them a card.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit