Buy Your Governing Body Approved Neck Pillows For Improved Posture And Meeting Attendance @Jehovah's Organization.Net

by frankiespeakin 7 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • frankiespeakin
    frankiespeakin

    The Governing Body would like to annouce at this momentous 1914-2014 Divine Love Your Nieghbor's Wife Convention a new Brochure entitled: Don't Make Jehovah Sad If You Know What's Good For You And Your Loved Ones, which will be offered to the public starting in January. We would also like to mention at this time we also have another wonderful provision from Jehovah's Organization one that most if not all want to purchase and here it is for the first time a lovely out of this world head embracing "Neck Pillow" guaranteed to keep you upright at the meeting especially in this deep time of the end and after a hard's day at work washing windows, or sitting in a wheelchair. And Brothers don't we appreciate this wonderful love that the Governing Body have for all you Brothers and Sisters:{clap, clap, clap}. You will be happy to know that these are availible right here at this most glorious convent as well as can be purchase on our new web site for material purchases only at Jehovah's Organization dot Net.

    These will cost a mere $50 and a small handling charge of $16 which BTW is a steal. Please be sure to pick one up today.....{clap, clap, clap, clap, clap}

    But if you pick one up today the handling fee will be reduced to $8 so do the math brothers and save,,because both our time and our assets should be to praise Jehovah and lift up our heads because deliverence is getting closer and closer.

    And let us remember our founder and business tycoon Charles Taze Russell who started life as a rich child and made a small fotune in a chain of haberdashery stores and turned it into a world wide printing business

  • steve2
    steve2

    I will applaud only when District Convention goodie-bags include fool-proof ear-plugs.

  • Sammy Jenkis
    Sammy Jenkis

    ...and if you don't buy the pillows well then that just means that you don't love Jehovah because they help keep you awake and ready.

    I ordered mine in the first 30 minutes and received a limited edition Armaggedon© survival guide, perfect for those select few who appreciated the years of monkey dancing and hoop jumping.

    What is this, it's so soft- is that Tempurpedic™? Haha, great post frankiespeakin

  • sd-7
    sd-7
    But if you pick one up today the handling fee will be reduced to $8 so do the math brothers and save,,because both our time and our assets should be to praise Jehovah and lift up our heads because deliverence is getting closer and closer.

    LOL!!! I was reading this in my 'convention speaker' voice and then I got to this part and it just got to be too hilarious! Ha ha ha! Can I incorporate that into a future issue of The Beast-Tower?

    --sd-7

  • frankiespeakin
    frankiespeakin

    Sd,

    Cool, go ahead and feel free to help yourself to it.

  • frankiespeakin
    frankiespeakin

    I would like to amend this one:

    We would also like to mention at this time we also have another wonderful provision from Jehovah's Organization one that most if not all want to purchase and here it is for the first time a lovely out of this world head embracing "Neck Pillow" guaranteed to keep you upright at the meeting especially in this deep time of the end and after a hard's day at work washing windows, or sitting in a wheelchair. And Brothers don't we appreciate this wonderful love that the Governing Body have for all you Brothers and Sisters:{clap, clap, clap}. And judgeing from the look of things while I'm on this podium looking out over this vast crowd of convention goers I see many thousand who could use this pillow right now, no more neck jerking like a fishing pole at a well stocked stream full of trouts, you can even close your eyes while wearing this thing but be aware of REM sleep in which case this handsome shiny new seat strap would be a lifesaver and for a mere $25 and no handling charges at this convention a limited supply is availible{clap,clap,clap},And let me not forget to say this: the Governing Body really loves you all so don't go without this wonderful provision from Jehovah Organization especially if you suffer from narcolepsy.

  • frankiespeakin
  • Narcissistic Supply
    Narcissistic Supply

    I'm waiting for my governing body approved butt plug.

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