Inculcation versus setting an example

larc

JW's quote Proverbs 22:6, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." Now, training in the Witness world, as you all know, has to do with meetings, underlining text, making comments at the Watchtower study and the book study. That is how you are supposed to raise a child.

Now, my children are an interesting experiment. They have never been inside a Kingdom Hall or a Church. Their primary influence was their mother and her love and nurturance. They learned by her way of living, not by any text of scripture or its interpretation. As a result, they are adults with a goodness about them. Yes, they have made mistakes, but those mistakes are relatively minor in the sceem (sp?) of things.

It is quite a trip when you leave the comfortable world of the JWs, into the scarey world of reality. Yes, I did it, and I am glad I did. Has life been, perfect? By no means, but it is a better life and a better world than I used to have.

Reborn2002

Amen larc. I couldn't agree more.

How many "worldly" people have raised their kids with wholesome values and integrity? Look at the firefighters and paramedics at the WTC. Catholic, Protestant, Muslim, etc. among them. Yet they LOVINGLY and WILLINGLY gave their own lives to save absolute strangers.

NOTHING TO DO with the JW's.. and these brave men and women gave the ultimate sacrifice.

In retrospect, it makes you sick now thinking about thw JW
spin-tactic on how wicked worldly people are now doesnt it? I know it makes me angry.

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DakotaRed

It's really sad that the JWs miss the gist of that scripture. I raised two daughters, before getting involved with the JWs. I even had them as a single Dad from the time they were 15 on. Their Mom was a non-practicing Catholic and I was a generic Protestant, raised in the AoG. Neither of us went to church or practiced any religion. We did, however, teach the girls kindness and selflessness. Jesus and angels were mentioned often, but no real deep study involving them. Their Mom and I didn't agree on the trinity, so neither of us pushed our view on them.

Both are grown, married and having families today.

After becoming a JW, I remarried and took on three step kids and a dub wife (Soon to be ex). None of these kids wished to learn anything I knew and their Mom simply keeps them going to meetings and in service, where the goal is to get someone to buy you something at the nearest Burgerville. All three love to quote Ephesians 6:4, as a manner to get their way. They totally neglect the first three verses. As I tried to instill Bible principals in them, all I received was condemantion from the elders, as the kids would complain that they didn't get to do it their way. My crime was to try to hold a Bible study and ask questions in the JW manner. I could not get their Mom to hold the study, but privately, she would study with them, cutting me totally out of the picture. Of course, she cut me out of anything with them and then complained to me about their conduct.

I asked elders for help and received none. But if the kids said anything against me, elders were banging on the door. So, I ended up going inactive and saying the hell with studying with them. After I DA'd, it got even worse, if that is possible.

So far, two have run away and returned, all three threaten suicide, when I am gone and they are not getting their way. One was arrested for assaulting her Mom, but no charges were filed and it was dropped. Of course, all the blame for it all falls on me, as I am the step parent and DA'd myself.

Comparatively speaking, at least in my case, raising kids away from the JWs produces much saner children as well as well adjusted ones. I should add that all four had mental illness issues before I met them and I overlooked them until after we were married, (Being horney does that, I guess).

Knowing what I know today, I would keep my door bolted and not let the dubs in. Live and learn.

If God's Spirit is filling a Kingdom Hall, how is it that Satan can manuever the ones within that Kingdom Hall at the same time?

Reborn2002

(((((DakotaRed)))))

You were a brave soldier who served your country.

The JW never deserved someone like you.

It IS true. The JW breed insane children. Every person I grew up with had emotional problems, including myself.

Only after getting OUT of the Borg did ANY of us straighten out. The ones who remain in the Borg are still emotionally unstable.

Hell, with their inculcated beliefs of the imminent death of BILLIONS, the hypocrisy of the older ones being so apparent, the mindcontrol, the reversed priorities, the sheer LUNACY of ALL of it... how could you NOT be troubled growing up in that environment?

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DakotaRed

Thanks, ReBorn. The JWs sure don't give the kids much to live for, do they? And, they declare themselves the TRUTH?

No thanks, religion has done much harm to man and the Watchtower is near the top of the list, in my estimation.

If God's Spirit is filling a Kingdom Hall, how is it that Satan can manuever the ones within that Kingdom Hall at the same time?

Dawn

Personally - I think my Grandma the answer to raising kids summed up in one sentence......

"Always balance discipline with love"

She'd tell me that for every correction I gave (even a simple "don't do that") that same day I should hug my kids and tell them they are loved. Each day they should, at the very least, get the same amount of positive reinforcements as they do correction.

She told me this when my son was just 4 months old. He's 16 now and the best part of my life - a great kid!! I left the JW's when he was only 4 and only became born again last year (he's 16 now), so he's been pretty much raised without a lot of spiritual basis - but I did take my Grandma's advice and I believe it worked.

Hyghlandyr

Typical family study when we started becoming witnesses (my dad, step mum, sister and two half sisters):

Dad: We have to be prepared because any day now armageddon is going to come and the tribulation. And the governments are going to torture us in the most horrific ways. Tearing our skin from our bodies, pulling our nails off, cutting us with knives...etc.

The elders put an end to those family studies pretty quick when I told them I was wondering what the hell I was doing in this religion if that was all I had to look forward to.

joelbear

Larc,

I agree and would add that in addition to setting a good example and nurturing children physically, the other challenge is spending enough time with them to be able to nurture them mentally and emotionally.

One point that we haven't discussed much here is the point you raise about leaving witnessdom for reality. Why do a lot of people stay witnesses? Because its an easier life not a harder life if you simply sublimate reality.

How do you raise your kids. Put them in the car 3 times a week for the Kingdom Hall and twice a week for field service. Study with them before the meetings and prepare with them before field service.

Unfortunately, what that does is prepare the children for a preplanned premixed surreality as opposed to actually preparing them for life in the real world. But it does addict them to the surreality, which is of course, the point of it in the first place.

Joel

waiting

Only after getting OUT of the Borg did ANY of us straighten out. The ones who remain in the Borg are still emotionally unstable. - reborn

My kids have done really well for themselves....but I must admit, the vast majority of it was after they left the jw's.

They were good kids in the org., - but firmly established themselves & their lives upon leaving. Of course, becoming adults and leaving teen years behind them might have had a tad something to do with it too.

waiting

Inculcation versus setting an example

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