Yo Rekless and Rodnico, bingo.
I first met a few chicks on the net when my wife and I were Witnesses and already had numerous problems. The solution was of course always:
1...Personal study (of all the same stuff I knew forward and backward.
2...Meeting attendence (which we were already doing)
3...Field service(which we were already doing)
4...Love....from the family book.
5...Respect...ibid.
Obviously 1-3 are nonsense and wont save a marraige, make a marraige, or improve a marraige.
However most think 4-5 will. Hogwash. Those two are simply not specific enough. How do you make her feel loved, and she you? Men and women are just different and need to understand that. I have heard women say they will not change this or that (for instance about their apearance, simply things like hairstyle). But the fact is a tiny thing like that, done the way a man likes will make his feelings for her more secure. The same if he does simply things, like, ahem, not drinking out of the milk bottle.
Relationships are not failing because of the internet. Rather they have already failed. The internet is simply waking people up to the fact that they have other choices out there. And that those choices are more in line with their own needs.
I personally want a harem. Too bad I did not acknowledge that, and the rightness of it, before I got married. If she and I shape up and I remain monogamous, I am ok with that too. Even if she remains a witness. If she deconverts and wants to practice polygamy cool. If she wants a divorce cool. Whatever desires she has I am totally fine with as well.
In fact, it is because of meeting people on the internet, specifically women, flirting with them, communing, even having cybersex with them, that I have come to this conclusion. I can live one way or another it doesnt really matter all that much to me. Like wanting a chocolate sunday, if someone drops it in my lap, sure I will eat it. But I am not gonna get off this couch to go get it. And just thinkin about it makes me as happy as havin it.
Now if she would come online with me that would be splendid. When she has, we have communicated very well together. We also get along well on the phone. I almost think we would have a perfect marraige if we lived in seperate places and spent our time together online. Sex isnt a big deal for me, I am only usually interested in it a couple of times a month at best. Often I do not even finish. So that would get all of the mental and emotional stimulation I need from her.
Too, it is a fact, that the more she hears me compliment this or that broad in the voice chat rooms, the less I have to coerce her into giving me hugs. It is funny our relationship is a bit reversed of most spousal relationships. She is not very interested, and never has been, in affection. Even when I was a witness I had to try over and over for hugs. Usually with her pushing me away. That and other things about our relationship, have led me further to some of the conclusions that I make, and my world view.
She would probably think otherwise, but I think our relationship is better because of the net. While she dislikes me being in the witness chat rooms, the fact is that being there has helped me mellow in my anger towards the watchtower society. And even towards the exes, and the rest of the talking monkeys. This also means that I have mellowed in my conversations with her about the religion. And since I dont have the guilt I did when I was a witness, this has simply improved things.
This internet is all evil and responsible kind of thing reminds me of this one broad that was in the news in the 80s. Her son played Dungeons and Dragons. Her son committed suicide. Obviously the D&D was responsible. She went to all the churches to warn about D&D. But she neglected to mention that her son had attempted suicide for years. Long before he ever played D&D. He just happened to finally be successful.
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