by ignored_one 8 Replies latest jw experiences
Hi,
Was brought up a JW. Found out recently about the whole UN/paedophile things.
Never felt my input was much regarded. I guess I never did 'enough'.
Not sure what to do. Moving in a few weeks. Considering not going to any new congregation. My mum will probably ask how I'm getting on. Don't know what to tell her. Would prefer to leave it a while, let her see that it's not just me being picky or sommat.
Any thoughts welcome.
Ignored One.
Hello ignored_one,
Welcome to the forum! If you want to get to knows others a bit quicker, why not join the chat sometimes.
Lilacs
I don't want someone in my life I can live with. I want someone in my life I can't live without.
Welcome to the Board, Ignored One.
Never felt my input was much regarded. I guess I never did 'enough'Are you speaking of input at the Kingdom Hall and service or here on the Board (I hope not)? Read Crisis of Conscience. Let your conscience (and your prayers) be your guide as to what to do.
Usually, there isn't any "leaving for a little while" without someone calling on you but you can try the "fade away". Usually those who move do employ the "fade away" (just forgetting to check in accidently on purpose at the new Kingdom Hall sort of speak). If it culminates eventually in voluntary disassociation or judicial disfellowshipping, your Mum does not have to participate in the shunning. She will not be permitted to speak about spiritual matters with you that's all. True for immediately family only. Others will shun. If you're Mum is all you have or care about being separated from, this should not be a problem but that depends on your relationship. Can sometimes cause rifts as others on the Board can attest to.
Would you like to share a little info about yourself if you can. If not, that's okay.
Just my thoughts....Hope it helps.
Trot
"Wicked men obey from fear; good men, from love".... Aristotle. You can love and obey Christ without intervention from an organization.
Lilacs
Thanks. :)
Trotafox
Luckily I never got past being a publisher. So I don't think they can technical shun me anyway. My mum may choose to avoid me but to be honest she get fed up with the way the elders do things in out cong although she's of the "it's better in other congs" mind.
Ignored_one.
Hi ignored_one
Nice to see you here...I'm sure your family will accept your choice to not go to any meetings. I don't think it is worthwhile going to meetings just because it is expected of you...I too was bought up a JW...and I felt that pressure to always conform. My mother tried to talk me out of disassociating myself...but I'm glad that I went ahead and did it anyway...I was sick and tired of being what she wanted me to be.
I think you should do what feels right for you...don't go to meetings for the wrong reasons.
Beck
Welcome!
You're moving, so this provides you with an excellent opportunity to take a little time off and do some soul-searching. You'll have penty of things to keep you busy - unpacking, getting to know the "lay of the land" in your new neighborhood, meeting some of your close neighbors, maybe taking a few Saturdays and Sundays for a well deserved "sleep in." Catch up on some reading - "Crisis of Conscience" for one.
I would also suggest picking up Crisis of Conscience. The reasons why this religion is wrong run much deeper than the UN/pedophile topics. If all you have is just a 'surface knowledge' of why you feel this religion is wrong, in certain company you could be convinced that you are just 'nitpicking'.
Many people who don't take the time to thoroughly investigate this religion go through life with guilt because they still believe in it in the back of their minds. Anyway, suit yourself and it is nice to have you here.
Path
I'm going to see if my college has a copy. Yes, I'm doing the unspeakable thing and not aiming to pioneer. I'm totally sick of the "you're young so you must be fit and healthy, and all fit and healthy young people who don't appear to want to pioneer aren't worth bothering about" attitude from the elders.
I'll probably wait till I've moved before getting it out though. Don't want a 'concerned' person reporting me for having 'apostate' literature in my house. ;)
Thanks for the suggestions. I'm trying to find out where my new local cong is just in case the information becomes useful.
Ignored_one
I used moving as a perfect opportunity to drop out of the JWs sight. It is about the only method that reliably works, keeps JWs off your back. The only downside is if family for one reason or another contacts your local KH and 'sics' the locals onto you. The toughest part will be saying "No mom, I don't go to meetings anymore".
That may be all you need to say. Hopefully she will respect your desires and leave it at that. Though the 'encouragement' (read guilt trips) will probably be put upon you from time to time.
You are just beginning to see the truth behind the truth, now is an excellent time to divorce yourself from the propaganda of constant meeting attendance and take a little time to search yourself for what YOU beleive, not what someone else tells you to beleive. The biggest thing now is to research as many other religions, ways of life, groups, etc.
You will discover one fact ... people are the same in every group. Some are 'good', some are 'bad'. The 'world' is NOT what you have been taught to think it is. The nice thing about being free from the JW group is you are not forced into abiding by, and living the life of, people who should have no say in your life to begin with.
