Unbelieving Partners

by Sirona 4 Replies latest jw friends

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  Sirona

  Hi All,

  It has occurred to me that living as an unbelieving partner to a JW takes its toll on you mentally.

  Do you start to be influenced by their way of thinking?

  Do you begin to see religion in "black and white" terms, even though you claim you are not a JW?

  Just recently, my stepdad who is an unbelieving mate got incredibly annoyed about a religious issue. Incidentally, his opinion was in agreement with the JWs. I do expect him to "support" my mother's beliefs, but I never, ever expected him to start TALKING LIKE A JEHOVAHS WITNESS. Has he been brainwashed in his own home?

  Sirona

  ** http://www.religioustolerance.org **
• 

  CPiolo

  Sirona:

  I would imagine that each is affected differently, depending upon many factors, such as personality, intelligence, the importance of religion or a religious view in their life, the importance their mates religious view is to them, whether or not there are children involved, how much the person really knows about JW beliefs, doctrine and history, and so forth.

  As an unbelieving mate of a JW, I can tell you that it does take its toll on me. The toll is mostly emotional: Sadness that my JW wife is a religious bigot and I am the object of her bigotry (even though she doesn't realize this or refuses to see it); that our relationship suffers because of this; that there are many levels where we just aren't going to communicate - we're out of synch in so many ways. Fear that our son may be indoctrinated into such a black and white, we vs. them world view; that he will lose his precious spontaneity, curiousity, and enthusiasm for life; that one day I will be the object of his intolerance.

  My thinking has been affected, but not towards a view more similar to a JW. No, I don't see religion, JWs, or most anything for that matter, in black and white terms.

  I would imagine that each is affected differently, depending upon many factors, such as personality, intelligence, the importance of religion or a religious view in their life, the importance their mates religious view is to them, whether or not there are children involved, how much the person really knows about JW beliefs, doctrine and history, and so forth.

  You don't explain much about the situation with your stepdad, but the JWs aren't wrong about everything.

  Take care,

  CPiolo
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  Sirona

  You make interesting points. I suppose it IS to do with the individual as much as anything.

  With my stepdad I've seen a gradual swing towards the JWs. He (rightly) defends my mum for her religion, but sort of says that "no religion is right". However, the problem recently was him not tolerating another religion, whereas he does tolerate JWs.

  E.g. If I joined a religion other than JW, would he have a problem with it?

  I think its wierd. I know that I'm definately affected by my mother. Its the attitude. I try to keep as much balance as I can when speaking to her.

  Sirona

  ** http://www.religioustolerance.org **
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  Joseph Joachim

  My mother has never been a JW and has never been influenced by it.
  She's agnostic, or more precisely, indifferent to religion; she just doesn't care. Basically, she thinks the WT religion is ridiculous. She never looked at the problem in terms of true/false religion, which is how religious people see it and what makes them strong opposers. She only says, "if there's something of value in the WT religion, then why only poor and under-educated people join?"

  I wish she had opposed more strongly, though; that would have saved me some time. But all is well if it ends well, I suppose. On the other hand it is true what Cpiolo says, dubs are not wrong about everything, so you shouldn't expect a "neutral" person to be against everything her/his JW partner says or does.
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  Sirona

  Joseph,

  I wouldnt expect a neutral partner to oppose everything (e.g. adultery!). I think its more of an *attitude* thing. The JW closed-mindedness rubs off!

  Sirona

  ** http://www.religioustolerance.org **