Ok, this time and ONLY this time I will let you have a giggle at our expense....otherwise I'm pretty fierce about defending the female of the species.....enjoy!
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it
Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't afford a washing machine will probably neva be able to support you
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There's a clock on the oven
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure
If your dog was barking at the back door and your wife was yelling at the front door, whom do you let in first?
Always let the BITCH in first
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman that won't do what she's told
I married Miss Right....I just didn't know her first name was "Always"
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 monts, I don't like to interrupt her
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%
It's called 'Wedding Cake'
Marriage is a 3-ring circus
Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering
Our last fight was my fault My wife asked me: "What's on the tv?" I said: "dust!"
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to
Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: "That happens in every country, son"
A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds: "Wife Wanted"
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine!"
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they're beautiful
Why do married men gain weight while bachelors don't?
Bachelors go to the refrigerator, see nothing they want, then go back to bed. Married guys go to the bed, see nothing they want, and go to the fridge
And there you have it....I don't believe any of it of course...except of maybe the bald guy walking down the street one......
Anyways I hope you got a laugh!
It was a joke! And you fell for it like the fascists you are! - Rick - The Young Ones