Something happened at my church today that I wanted to share with you all.
The church I attend now is quite large. 1800+ members, as well as hundreds of other regular attenders. As with any group of that size, there is always the need for "rules" to keep some sort of organization going.
Well - one of the new rules in my church is that parents/relatives/etc are not allowed to stay in the Sunday school rooms during class. The doors always are open, and parents can come get their kids at any time, but they're not allowed to stay in the classroom. This new rule was put in place to protect the children from pedophiles. You see, all sunday school helpers (self included) must fill out a form with proof of ID and a background check is done on them through the Sheriff's office. So, since staff and helpers are the only ones who have had the background check, they're also the only ones allowed to remain in the classroom.
Anyways - I think this is a great rule. But sometimes following rules to a rigid degree can cause harm when they're supposed to do good.
A mother with two young children (3 & 2) recently started coming. The 3 year old goes to the classroom where I am a helper. She was reluctant to let mom leave, so the teacher told mom she could hang out for a while with the little one until she got settled in. However, with this new rule in place, that means mom can't stay in the classroom any longer. When mom was told this today she got very upset and explained that she just couldn't leave them there crying. I didn't hear the rest of the conversation - but it ended with the mom grabbing her kids, running out of the classroom crying hysterically. Not a site I EVER wanted to see and hope I NEVER see again. I caught up with her in the hallway, hugged her and begged her to talk with me to see if there was something I could do to help, but she was too upset to talk. This whole scene broke my heart in two and I just couldn't help it - I broke into tears myself.
I told the staff and administrators that although I understand some rules are needed, we have to remember what is more important - the rules or the people. In this circumstance there was definately a better way to handle this situation rather than rigidly following a rule.
They're going to call her this week to see if there is anything that can be done to remedy the situation. Although I do not believe she will come back (and for that I feel partly responsible and so very very very sad!!) - I am praying and hoping that she won't get lost completely but will find a church (perhaps a smaller one) where the rules can be more flexible.
I also told the staff and administrators there that I know problems will arise in any church - but the real scale to me is how those problems are dealt with. So I will watch to see how they resolve this one before I make a decision as to whether I stay or find another church myself.
I wanted to share this for three reasons:
(1) Honesty - I have to admit to everyone that I see problems not just with the JW's but in all religions;
(2) Release - I needed to share this with someone because it makes me so sad;
(3) Freedom - This is the first time I felt really free to express my opinions (strongly) with a pastor or church administrator and not worry about any discipline. They may or may not agree with my opinion, but they listened with respect and didn't try to "correct" me. And if I choose to leave their church, they'll still be my friends.