The Last NWT in America

NeverKnew

So, my non JW cousins have been telling me about a couple of JWs that have been "coming over a lot and talking about their religion" (it's hilarious that my cousins don't see these sessions as "Bible studies"). It seems that I've been hearing about these ladies for at least a year but I doubt that my cigarette smoking, pants wearing, no-dress owning, flip-flop wearing, verbal swearing cousin they come to meet with isn't always available. *ahem*

I was told that the last time they were there, they asked my cousin to get her Bible. My cousin, who hasn't been to church in YEARS, obediently went to a bookshelf... and pulled a Judaic Old Testament from the shelf. *snicker* (Isn't it amazing they've gone a year and not needed a Bible?)

They then instructed her to turn to Revalation. "Where is it? I can't find it...." She said they were totally befuddled by her "version".

Today, they dropped off a brand new NWT!

And yes, I happened to be visiting my cousins one Saturday when the pair came by. My cousins were stifling laughter as I was repeatedly told I was confused on many subjects. Hitting the topic of the 144K, I was told that ALL of them were JWs! Brow furrowed, I told them that I believed the Bible said it was "a bunch of Jewish guys who were virgins." and I scan-read Rev 7 and 14 aloud for them to hear.

They both stared off the deck and into the sky. After a moment of silence, one woman responded, "See, that's your problem, you're confused. Some of them are married."

So, now, I see my cousins trying not to burst into laughter over the repeated declaration of my being confused. I reply in jest, "I don't think I'm confused about that passage. You're not going to believe this, but my IQ might be slightly higher than normal."

Same woman unabashedly snapped, "Well then THAT must be your problem!"

I gotta work on my delivery. Apparently, I sound confused. *sigh*

Bob_NC

Your cousin likely did get the last NWT. It must have been deep deep in someone's bookbag.

Isn't that an amazing mindset of the Witnesses. They come by on a supposedly innocent visit to have a Bible discussion. How nice. But at the slighest hint that you don't agree lockstep with everything they say, "You have a problem" or "You are confused." No, I'm not confused, I'm just reading exactly what the verses say. But they deduce your confusion in less than a second but have absolutely no idea what your background might be.

Julia Orwell

Funny story! Your cousin sounds hilarious. Y does your cousin even submit to these jws visiting? It's funny how these old Jw battle axes don't follow the counsel from the meetings, which is to draw the householder out on his or her beliefs and not shoot them down straight away but try reason on them.

losingit

ohhh i so wish i was there! that must have been hysterical! i wonder if your cousins are going to let those ladies back in.... unless they need a good laugh! LOL

NeverKnew

I think that plan got hi-jacked when I came on the scene.

It had to have been the world's WORST Bible study. It could have been a hilarious youtube video. At one point, the woman who appeared to be the point person was just sitting staring straight ahead looking like, "this can't be happening." There were five people... 3 non-jws and 2 jws. Because I've now talked to my cousins about JW beliefs they had known nothing about, they have become insanely curious so they were trying to make heads AND tails of the answers. OH, and NONE of us are shy.

The point person JW kept holding up her literature saying, "we're NOT going in ORDER folks!" and her counterpart would then say, "See, that's why she's confused" and point at me. At one point she said to me, "That's why you can't understand, see you keep jumping around. These books are ORGANIZED." I told her that it appeared that the scriptural references were kinda all over the place but she insisted that I had to read it EXACTLY as it was written to understand. "But it looks like there's a reference to our last topic you said was off-topic - 1914 in that next paragraph over there on the next page? I'm not allowed to talk about my question before that paragraph?" "NO," she replied in frustration, "Do you know what order means?"

My cousins would be talking about points THEY had just made, and the point person wasn't being heard at all. Now in retrospect, it was hilarious! EVERYone was talking at the same time.

At one point, the pointperson regained control of the crowd. Flustered from the previous topic, she mistakenly declared within three sentences that the Jews had killed Jesus. You would have thought that my non-church going cousin was a competitor on Jeopardy! "OH NO.... UH-UHHHHH!!!! THAT was the ROMANS who killed Jesus! Even I know that." Simultaneously, cousin number 2 says, "The story about the Romans is in this Bible here somewhere and it's the same on TV!" I was feeling kinda sorry for the pointperson so I kept my mouth shut for this one.

The other JW woman? She was trying my Christian patience.... LOL

NeverKnew

They came back today and dropped off one of those precious NWTs with my cousins!

They weren't reading the yellow book. They were reading a skinny blue magazine that said "Good News" on the front. It's been year and they're only on chapter seven? Does this mean my cousins are in the slow class?

5go

When I finally read Revelations in context I came to the same conclusion Martin Luther did back during the reformation. That is it should of been dropped from the bible as it is apocrypha. Revelations is more trouble than it's worth.

Julia Orwell

It would definitely have to be the most controversial book. It seems like a bunch of weird tripping out.

Apognophos

Well, it may be, but some of it is definitely a screed against Rome. By the way, really enjoying this story, NeverKnew! Somehow I don't think we'll be hearing this Bible study experience from the platform any time soon! I imagine the sister would have long since stopped coming if it weren't for the hours she's getting.

The Last NWT in America

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