Do you sense and underlying serenity ?

by Phizzy 7 Replies latest jw friends

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  Phizzy

  Going forward from my other thread, on the unhappiness of JW's, and thanks for your contributions to that, do you sense the opposite with XJW's ?

  Not simply the happiness that we all exude, external and obvious, but an underlying serenity.

  All that I have met face to face, and as far as I can tell those that are on here, have a certain serenity, due I think in the main to having the conviction that our leaving was the very best of decisions.

  Yes, we still have our daily struggles, perhaps the frustrations of trying to free loved ones, health problems, financial difficulties, personality faults of our own we are working on, any or all of these plus ones I haven't mentioned.

  And yet I detect a peace, and contentment, that comes from being the real "you", no longer having to put on the Cult personality, no longer having to suffer the noise of Cognitive Dissonance, no longer feeling we are not "doing enough".

  That inner peace is what makes you all such lovely people.
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  cantleave

  Not sure if we are all serene. I think as move further away from the cult we become more comfortable with our authentic selves.
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  losingit

  I am happy that i am outbecause i finally am free to be me again. But i am very very sad and hurt by the fact that my friends are no longer my friends. Trying to rebuild my life when my trust in ppl is gone is very difficult. Perhaps i will feel serene with time. No matter what, though, i am very very happy im out.
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  Phizzy

  That happiness with your decision will build serenity in time.

  I heard some good advice from a guy the other day, he had fled Bosnia in the early days of the atrocities there, and had left behind friends and family, (most were dead), and his culture too, and arrived in the U S A much as we arrived in the real world once we left the W.T bubble.

  He said, "You must start to build yourself a new family straight away, the old one is gone".

  Make new friends, they can be your "family", hopefully in time your real family and some of your old friends may come to our "new country", but just in case, we need a new family.
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  Alligator Wisdom

  As Phizzy & losingit noted, building new social networks (friends ) is paramount in getting on with our lives.

  I'm at that point where my social circle can be counted on one hand, seriously. Yes, there are those non-JWs that "I know", but can't really be considered friends. However, I'm working on it. I found that once I started my fade, my interactions with strangers and those non-JWs that I'm acquainted with has been more quality with a sincere motive to really know them better. When I was an active JW, I was only cordial to these ones.

  Alligator Wisdom (aka Brother NOT Exerting Vigorously)
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  70wksfyrs

  I think I am more peaceful at the fact I can explain why judicial committees are unjust. I suppose that is what cognitive dissonance is, that I truly believed JC'c are conducted under the guidance of holy spirit yet I was told I was not repentant.

  After I did not believe holy spirit guided my JC I was calm about this point. Having said this I have lost most of my so called friends, I am a newbie to TTATT so I am angry and upset with them for abandoning me, and I am angry and upset I have to talk to loved ones and family in a cloak and dagger manner, so they don't get unjustly d'fd.

  So, on the whole, no I am not serene at all. I am angry, isolated and upset. I have only learned TTATT six months ago so it may improve once I engage in the community, which hasn't worked yet, after strenuous efforts. I am probably a weirdo desperate for human contact and come over too needy. Someone actually told me I was too needy
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  Comatose

  I'm at peace now. Fully accepting of the universe as a huge machine I am a small part of. It gives me peace to know that life is just what it is now and death is normal and part of life. I have more peace now thaN I did when I thought there was a paradise.
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  Faithful Witness

  I never suffered inside the tower, so have no comparison to base thing upon... But

  i have noticed that society, as a whole, has become so reliant on technology for making connections, that the Internet has replaced human interaction. This will probably make it MORE difficult for some to feel that elusive "peace that passes understanding." There is no replacement for human contact, and the watchtower knows it. It uses this isolation and forced togetherness (field service and ministry school, especially) to reinforce your dependence on being in the intimate presence of other people frequently.

  Probably not answering the original question, but it's a thought that came to me while reading the replies. Building a new family or social network, is very hard today. Everybody is too busy. I am praying for all the lonely JW's out there, both inside and outside the org. it is just terrible, the abuse these innocent people suffer in the name of serving God... Abuse from their own leaders!