Don't hold your breath waiting for an apology.

by stillin 9 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  stillin

  This is true everywhere but it seems especially true with the witnesses. They seem to feel that since God forgives them, you should too, so you end up with these pathologically rude, crude people.

  "Get over it" is what my wife says if I tell her about some incident where I couldn't believe my ears. But I have to remind myself that she is also like that.

  But she's right, too, because who wants to spend the rest of their life as a victim?

  Sorry if I'm blathering. I just turned inside-out for a second there...
• 

  Phizzy

  "Get over it" is good general advice for any who have left. But I know what you mean, we were supposed to take any crap JW's were dumping on us, and not react.

  One wise old boy Elder said to me about that "If I have to take in to account that they do such terrible things to me because of imperfection, they cannot expect my reaction to those things to be perfect, I am just like them, imperfect".

  I bore that in mind when one J.W did the dirty on me and slyly said "But we don't take our brothers to Court". I replied :

  "I do, so sort it out"
• 

  Julia Orwell

  Yet if some non jw did something to you, oh it's Satan and terrible and proves how bad this system is getting, we are getting sooo close to The End, fancy having to put up with that! and that people really need Jehovah in their lives. But a jw does it, oh well he's just an imperfect man who really means no harm and you have to forgive him.
• 

  DATA-DOG

  Speaking as an indoctrinated JW male from birth... All the times I never apologized to someone was for one reason, I honestly felt that I did not owe them an apology. Worldly people were even less worthy of an apology. Did my wife deserve an apology, very rarely. At least that's how I felt.

  Looking back I needed major help in the humility department. I had an incident at a CA that I think helped to wake me up from the TRUTH. I very strictly followed some instructions in a certain department, against my own conscience. As a result a dear Sister went through some hurtful experiences that were needless. I realized that any in the Organization is a position of authority are destined to abuse their power. It can't be helped, because the whole idea of an organized religious system of do's and don'ts and prescribed works is inherently wrong. So no matter how "sheep-like" or loving a brother in the Org may seem, they WILL abuse others. They do it everyday by supporting the WTBTS. The nicest, most humble and meek Elder will DF you for JEHOVAH(tm).

  I asked an Elder relative if the GB would seek out and re-instate all those who said there was no faithful slave class back in the 80's. After all, we know they were correct and were just trying to be truthful and were DF'd on false grounds. He said, " They should......" Don't EVER expect an apology from the Elders or the GB, especially the GB. YOU simply do not deserve one, and it would be beneath their station to give you one.

  In closing, an Aesop's fable:

  Once upon a time, a frog and scorpion met on a river bank. " Please carry me across the river", said the scorpion. The frog replied, " I cannot. If I carry you, then you will sting me and I will die." The scorpion replied, " No! Because if I sting you, then I will drown and die as well."

  So the frog carried the scorpion through the river. As they neared the bank the scorpion stings the frog. As paralysis sets in and they both begin to sink, the frog cries out, " WHY?!?" The scorpion replies, " Because it's who I am. It's my nature."

  DD
• 

  Scully

  Oh, yes, and you must always be careful so as not to Stumble Your Brothers, but if they do something that Stumbles you, just get up, dust yourself off and fagettaboutit.
• 

  label licker

  Or try pulling the same stunt that was pulled on you and see how fast your df'd. They have ones they pick on and that's all there is to it. (and it's always the ones that don't fight back) And then you'll be told that Jehovah is testing you on how you react to the situation. For he has bigger plans for you down the road. Usually those plans always included having to do with serving the org.
• 

  LongHairGal

  STILLIN:

  I felt EXACTLY as you do, which is why I had no real dealings with the screwy personalities there.

  The mentality of UNACCOUNTABILITY and arrogance runs through the whole thing. I had no intention of being damaged by those idiots and this was back in the day when most JWs were fairly responsible people......let's not even get into WHAT the religion is comprised of nowadays. I'd run from these bastards.
• 

  L3G

  When I think of all the blessings that I've gotten from leaving, no longer having to put up with their crappy behavior has got to be at the top.

  I remember how one brother put it to me when I was active: "Let me love them from a distance!" I found so many of them absolutely infantile when it comes to basic human decency...
• 

  Xanthippe

  The psychologist that I saw after leaving the cult spoke to me about this problem that hardly anyone seems to apologise. He said I should tell the person what I feel they have done wrong anyway even if I know they will never feel or say they are sorry. Something about it being good for us to let the person know what they have done so that we can then let it go.

  As far as my family still in the cult I think they will die in it so no apologies for shunning will be forthcoming there. So I agree don't be a victim get on with our lives but for general things I think the psychologist was right.
• 

  tenyearsafter

  I remember when I was in, I had a janitorial business (surprise, surprise), and I employed JW's...worst experience ever! They would flake on jobs, call off at the last minute ("I need to get my hours in before the end of the month", "I have a talk to write", etc., etc.), and I was supposed to "understand"...no apology, just an assumption of understanding on my part. If I protested their actions, I became the bad guy! I REALLY resented that attitude...I would never knowingly hire a JW given their priorities regarding their jobs.