How to break up a "friendship" with a JW who is (still!) trying to convert me

Sofi

Ok, so I never had the courage to tell this people I was df'd a long time ago... just kept "studying" here and there because I felt lonely and they were so persistent. Last time I saw this woman, we had a heated argument (was more like a monologue) where I told them why I think the WTS is wrong on the blood subject. She is still sending me texts about when is she going to see me again to "study" (bringing in the "closer": a regular pioneer we both know). I'm sick of being a phony and just stick around for cheap friendship. I just might use this as an opportunity to plant doubts in her, about "The truth". She is so numb, though, I don't think that anything I could say could actually work. So, I was thinking I can: a. leave all of the WT information I still have on her doorstep and tell her I don't believe in any of it; b. I could send her a text telling her I am df'd (that will make her dissappear forever); c. I could be a "difficult" student so that, every chance I get, I can try to uncover the watchtower veil off her face (but I don't know if I have the energies for that, she is truly a robot, doesn't even have an opinion for anything, besides what the "slave" recommends.

I've been doing a lot of reading on the WT (Barbara Harrison: Visions of Glory). Even though I have been df'd for so many years, I always assumed I'd go back at some point, and felt guilty for being out. I even thought about going back about a month ago or so. But after reading what I've read, no way, I'm never going back... There is just too much dirt under the WTS carpet, too much deception. I feel so betrayed... but it is always better to know.

EndofMysteries

if you are just a bible study, it's not truly a friendship, because if you are no longer a study and don't convert, you won't be a friend.

it's a conditional/false friendship. If it is more than that, then you'll still be friends and associate whether you study/join or don't.

Sofi

Hey, EndofMysteries I have been seing her for about 2 years, she's given me rides, our daughters played together and so on but I am certain that I am only a "study", a possible JW in project for her, so I don't think she'll ever talk to me after she knows... which is ok.

Bob_NC

How about...I like you. I like talking to you.But I don't want to study. I don't believe most of it anyway. Let's just go out sometime for a drink and chips?

That would be perfectly nice and friendly. Maybe she will say ok and take you up on it. Probably she won't. Then you will know, but it will be on her. You have every right to say that you don't want to study and that you don't believe it.

label licker

Just remember while she studies with you or plays with you she is counting time and that's it.

problemaddict

Its not a real friendship. You already know that.

I would say for her sake and the sake fo the pioneer, have them over and talk. No need to tell them you are DF'd. That isn't like a thing you have tatooed on you. You are just you. Some stupid religion said you shouldn't be one of them anymore. That has nothing to do with you. You cannot BE disfellowshipped. You are too busy BEING you. :)

I would say go over blood again. Stay on task. There are some real ringers in there.

Here is my favorite. White blood cells are forbidden by the society. Albumin a blood protein, is ok. They both are dissolved in the plasma. Albumin makes up much more of the blood (almost double) than white blood cells. Why are WBC's forbidden, and Albumin for the Christian to decide? Who determines that and why?

Its just mind boggling.

Scully

Start celebrating holidays, beginning with Halloween.

You don't even have to go whole-hog with ghosts and witches and pumpkins. I simply had seasonal decorations: a bale of hay, some decorative gourds and some colorful corn around our front entrance and the gossip went WILD within the Congregation™.

For Christmas, don't do lights or a tree, but put pictures of snowmen and snowflakes all over your house. Again, seasonal decorations, but nothing overtly from False Religion™.

In springtime, you can do flowers and baby animal pictures instead of Easter stuff.

In the summer, if you live in the USA, decorate in red-white-and-blue, without using the American Flag. I live in Canada, so I had red-and-white everywhere rather than having a Canadian flag - I even made sure my flowerbeds were in red and white, so I could say confidently that I was just going with a red and white theme - it had nothing to do with Canada Day.

Your JW Friend™ will start questioning what you're doing, and perhaps accuse you of celebrating holidays. You can counter with the fact that you are enjoying the seasons and then you can get offended that she's trying to tell you what to do in your own home, with your own money and impose her Conscience™ on you. That works every time. She will start withdrawing, and unfortunately that means your daughter may lose her friend too, but there are tons of other children who will be lots more fun for your daughter to play with.

allelsefails

I would tell her that someone you know found out you were studying with witnesses and told you they were a false prophet. They said that Jerusalem was destroyed in 587 BC not 607. When you looked it up in the encyclopedia you found out they were right! You were shocked. Ask your friend to prove to you the 607 date for Jerusalem's destruction. This is key. No 607 = no 1914 = no "last days" = no 1919 = no appointment by Jesus of their Governing Body. It is a house of cards and this is the card on the bottom of the stack.

When "allelsefails" try common sense.

How to break up a "friendship" with a JW who is (still!) trying to convert me

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