Feeling melancholy and sad tonight and don't know why.

by HappyDad 5 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  HappyDad

  For some reason I'm feeling kind of blue tonight. It doesn't happen often but tonight it feels like I've been hit with a bat. This song by Bob Seeger came out in 1980 and the words really touched me. The first stanza or so of the song don't have meaning for me but the part I've posted always got to me. Even way back then, my then living wife understood what I told her about these lyrics. She was raise as a JW and had her own doubts. She saw way too much BS in the cong. and I was able to talk to her with no reservations. The times I was so fed up with the local politics and trying to fit in...she understood me. The words have so much meaning to me and I heard this song on the radio tonight and just started crying and that is way to strange for a 66 year old apostate (oops.....an awakenend ex JW who learned the TTAT almost 15 years ago) like me.

  Just sharing. Thanks for listening.

  HappyDad

  The years rolled slowly past
  And I found myself alone
  Surrounded by strangers I thought were my friends
  I found myself further and further from my home
  And I guess I lost my way
  There were oh so many roads
  I was living to run and running to live
  Never worryied about paying or even how much I owed
  Moving eight miles a minute for months at a time
  Breaking all of the rules that would bend
  I began to find myself searching
  Searching for shelter again and again

  Against the wind
  A little something against the wind
  I found myself seeking shelter sgainst the wind

  Well those drifter's days are past me now
  I've got so much more to think about
  Deadlines and commitments
  What to leave in, what to leave out

  Against the wind
  I'm still runnin' against the wind
  I'm older now but still runnin' against the wind
  Well I'm older now and still runnin'
  Against the wind
  Against the wind
  Against the wind

  Still runnin'
  I'm still runnin' against the wind
  I'm still runnin'
  I'm still runnin' against the wind
  Still runnin'
  Runnin' against the wind
  Runnin' against the wind
  See the young man run
  Watch the young man run
  Watch the young man runnin'
  He'll be runnin' against the wind
  Let the cowboys ride
  Let the cowboys ride
  They'll be ridin' against the wind
  Against the wind ...
• 

  Iown Mylife

  HappyDad, that happens often after you've lived a good many years like you and me, and it's not strange. We've developed lots of associations in our memories - for me it's Peter Paul and Mary songs. Take me back to when I had my whole life ahead of me, and could have chosen NOT to throw 30 years away on the WT and ruin my kids' lives as well as my own.
• 

  rubadubdub

  Wow, Happy Dad! Thanks for sharing. Those lyrics ressonate with me too. It seems we may have exited at about the same age. My husband had faded over 30 years prior to me, and I have been out only just over two years now. I'm so glad your wife understood you! You must miss her!

  Life is so much easier sailing with the wind instead of into it-- going nowhere!

  I hope you have found good reason for a little more cheerful outlook today. I'm hoping your forum name means you can check in with your kids-- that always perks me up.
• 

  carla

  Love that song! doesn't affect this non jw like it may for a jw, 'Like a Rock', now that one can bring me to tears! reminds me of my dad.

  Hope your feeling better today.
• 

  clarity

  HappyDad (())sorry, aawww sweety...I feel those words too.

  >

  Now that I am older ... nostalgia washes over me more &

  more often, taking me lower than a snakes belly lol.

  >

  Even something of beauty ...will do it sometimes, can't figure

  that one out ..but I guess it is a trigger.

  >

  I guess when we live more than 6 decades it is a 'normal' human thing.

  >

  But don't forget .... the mind abuse we have dealt with.

  That has added so much more pain, dissappointment and

  isolation than normal.

  >

  Wishing you & all of us better days

  clarity

  .
• 

  HappyDad

  Thanks everyone. I'm feeling much better today. I'm most grateful that my daughter is out of this cult too. We are very close even though there is a 1200 mile distance between us. I am in the Pittsburgh area and she is in Bonita Springs. She left the religion about a year before I did. Neither one of us knew that the other was fed up and enlightened. One night when I met her for dinner I told her that I no longer wante to be a JW. She was actually elated with my statement and I gave her my copy of Crisis of Conscience. That book sealed our WT fate for good. That was about 1999.

  I get down to Florida several times a year to spend time with her. She now has a career that she loves and tons of good friends around her. I'm retired but also have many worthwhile friends from all walks of life here in my area. I was in Bonita Springs for 15 days at the end of August through Sept. and loved it even though it was hot, humid and rainy. I'll be there again for Thanksgiving like always and I always go down for the Bonita Springs Blues Fest every March. A really great event!

  Thanks and take care all.

  HappyDad