Analyzing sex and marriage within the WTS

by Leander 7 Replies latest social relationships

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  Leander

  Growing up as a witness can do strange things to people, especially in a sexual sense. I'd be embarraassed to recount some of the stories and experiences about sex that I've seen and heard dealing with young witnesses.

  It seems that there are quite a few marriages that have taken place with younger witnesses simply to satisfy sexual urges. After the inital curiosity has been satisfied a lot times young couples realize that they made a terrible mistake which often leads to a variety of different problems.

  Currently I find myself in a similar situation. Although I'm not dealing with any particular stressful marital problems I am however realizing that marriage was'nt the best choice for me. (at least at this particular time in my life) Even as a boy I've had a tendecy to seek out solitude and now that I'm approaching my 30th year of life I have that same desire. I would'nt consider myself to be anti-social by any means, but I really enjoy the pleasures of having time alone.

  Its a terrible thing to realize that you've made an error in regards to a major decision such as marriage. I find myself resenting the fact that I put so much faith into the WTS and allowing their teachings to control so much of my life.

  Whats your thoughts on sex and marriage from the JW perspective?

  Does their outlook do more harm than good?

  Its ironic that I tried to do the honorable thing by getting married so I could fulfill my needs in a bibical way, but I'm still unsatisfied.
• 

  gsx1138

  Another good question. I know from my own experience and from what all my friends told me the only reason to get married was so you could finally get laid. Just before my Df'ing in 1990 everyone I knew was getting married at age 18. I mean everyone. We all knew what it was about and so did the rest of the KH but it was not socially acceptable to discuss sexual matters. They just passed it of as the impulse (impulse being horny) of youth. I know when I first committed fornication I was hooked. 20 years old, a guy, and never had sex, I was like an atom bomb ready to explode. Well explode I did as you can read my DF hearing in on the personal exp. page.
  I believe most religious views on sexuality and youth to be unhealthy. You can CHOOSE to remain a virgin which is very commendable. But if you are forced to remain a virgin through programming and guilt then you're setting yourself up for a fall.

  Dear Lord, please save me from your followers.
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  D8TA

  Currently I find myself in a similar situation. Although I'm not dealing with any particular stressful marital problems I am however realizing that marriage was'nt the best choice for me. (at least at this particular time in my life) Even as a boy I've had a tendecy to seek out solitude and now that I'm approaching my 30th year of life I have that same desire. I would'nt consider myself to be anti-social by any means, but I really enjoy the pleasures of having time alone.

  Oh man, this is the the time when it's RIPE for the luv-bug to bite. Just when you get comfortable, when everything is running smoooth...then WAM! Kicked-in-the-Ass-by-Luv---and-I-didn't-see-it-commin theory.

  BTW...don't you people hate my "continous, non paused sentences"? (eg. Whoa-my-god-what-the-hell-wuz-that). It's how I speak in RL. ;)

  D8TA
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  SYN

  D8: That's how I speak too...
  Leander: LOL, Sex in the WTBTS, I could write books on that subject...

  Every religion is the One True Religion.
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  kat7302

  the witnesses view of masturbation is terrible. They make you feel dirty for doing something that is so natural and part of growing up. Not only that, they dont allow you any time alone with the opposite sex for fear that you 'do' anything so you end up messing around with your mates of the same sex to compensate!(or was that just in my congregation!!!!!)and that screws you up even more cos you then have to cope with the thought that you may be a lesbian!!!!!!!! bollox to it all, have sex however and wenever you like so long as your careful and do whats best for you!
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  larc

  Leander,

  It seems to me you have two issues, your need for solitude, and a marriage that is not totaly fulfilling.

  Now, regarding solitude, if you need it, then seek it. My wife and I have been married for 38 years, and we both need our solitude, and we get solitude when we need it, no problem.

  When I retired, there was a period of adjustment. I told my wife, that when I get on her nerves for being around so much, just let me know, and I will go to the library for a few hours or to the pub, depending on the time of day.

  Now, regarding marriage, no marriage is totaly fulfilling. What you have to determine is the degree of unfulfillment you have, and if that makes it worth leaving the marriage. That is a tough call, my friend.
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  Prisca

  I think that marrying just for the sake of having sex is displaying more disrespsect for the sanctity of marriage than pre-marital sex is.

  Has anyone ever thought about it that way?
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  animal

  My first piece of ass was a Finnish gal my parents were studying with.... when I was 15. She was hot, I was horney, and my first shot at running away was right to her house. This was in '72, and those of you in back then know the outlook of death in '75 if you do such things. Yep, it was worth it.

  I saw several people marry for sex rather than love(?) when I was growing up. I was a horndog from about 10 yrs old, so I was in tune to those things.

  As for my wife and I today, I get all the solitude I want. She married a biker, she knew what she was getting into. When on the bike, no one in the world can bother me. She likes it too, but her escape is reading a book next to the pool. We leave each other alone unless something pressing is happening that needs attention. It works great for us, but our setup is not for everyone.

  By the way, I met her when my girlfriend (live-in) ran off with her boyfriend. Yep, she was a revenge piece of ass... 20 years ago... and we have been together since.

  I say do what you want, she will accept it or not. Just give her the same options.

  Animal