Dub in the Pub: Update.

by Englishman 6 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Englishman

  I`ve had a few inquiries re my elder pal, otherwise known as the "Dub in the Pub".

  Just to recap: I like to spend my final hour of the day relaxing over a few beers in my local pub. We`re a pretty fun lovin` bunch and the repartee flows thick and fast.

  We`re only a few miles from the border with Wales, so most of us have inherited the Welsh habit of tacking someones occupation or hobby on the end of a persons name. It works like this: I have a pint with Roy the Guinness, chat to Dave the Taxi, play dominoes with Pete the Paint, who always beats me, Mike the Windows. All will become clear!

  About a year ago, a new fella quickly became an established customer. John was a fascinating guy and over the next few weeks I started to value his company. Until......:

  One day I said to the Landlord of the pub, "Have you seen John this week?" The landlord replied: "Do you mean John the Jehovah?"

  I was stunned! John the Jehovah? Bloody hell, the guy seemed so normal! Then the landlord told me he was an elder. Ye Gods, whatever next?

  I discussed it at length with her Ladyship, and asked H20 posters for advice. The general consensus was, that as DF`ing is an unscriptural abomination, I should not enable his shunning of me by confessing to being a DF`d witness. So I stayed schtumm.

  Then John told me he knew I was a DF`d witness and that he didn`t mind a bit because I was not an apostate ! Oh dear.

  So, I chose disretion as the better part of valour and stayed silent. (I like this fella!) We have even played guitar together in his home.

  But now comes the tricky part. He has suddenly stopped coming in the pub. I know he hasn`t moved because his car is always outside his house. Other regulars who have seen him in town, say that he is coming back shortly, but he has business commitments that are keeping him away.

  It would be easy for me to go back to his house to check he`s OK, but it`s years since I let anyone snub me, and I`m concerned that he may have been reprimanded for associating with me, so I`m reluctant to call on him.

  Any advice would be much appreciated!

  Englishman.
• 

  Simon

  I'd wait a bit first to see if he does turn up.
• 

  peaceloveharmony

  Englishman,

  i agree with simon, wait a bit.

  sometimes when i don't hear from my mom for a couple of weeks or a month, i fear that she has been told to cut off communication with me. but thankfully that has not been the case, she is just busy. i also have a friend who is inactive but her family is very active and if i don't hear from her for a few weeks i get nervous too. but i don't want to call because i don't ever want to hear "i can't talk to you anymore".

  i hate that stupid shunning policy!

  love harmony
• 

  nelly136

  perhaps its not you he's been told to stay away from, maybe he's been told to stay away from the pub, can remember the elders coming round to lecture my dad about his drinking habits every so often, think it was after him and mum had had an argument or someone passed comment on his frequency to the locals.
  nelly
• 

  ISP

  Hi Englishman!

  I've just attended a circuit assembly so I am now super-spiritual! One of the items dealt with drinking and it said something like 'Can we go a day without a drink, a week........a month.......if not do we have a dependancy that we don't appreciate? Yikes I thought!I've just bought several crates and have a handy supply fridged!

  Soooo your elder buddy may have to think twice about drinking and roaring and enjoying intercourse with the lads er....social that is.

  ISP
• 

  Englishman

  ISP,

  Thanks for replying. Re alcohol, yes, not everyone can partake in moderation. ( Ah! The gift of moderation. I can envisage the WT study now, yawn.....)

  You can moderate your alcohol consumption in several ways, her Ladyship normally chooses to enjoy a glass of wine with her evening meal. I choose not to drink at all at home, my time is late evening for an hour before bed.

  G`night, SNOReZZZ.Englishman.
• 

  ozziepost

  G'day pommie,

  The missus says WAIT. So I've done wot she told me!

  This elder companion is a somewhat unusual example of an elder, isn't he?

  I remember reading somewhere that DFing actually hurts the one doing the shunning. The reason? Well, they are continually having to think of who they can or cannot talk to. Also, don't forget, you have not disfellowshipped them. I'd be inclined to innocently call by to see how he is. After all, by not asking after the welfare of your newfound friend, you are giving credence to the authority of JW elders in your life. Could you phone?

  "Do you not know that if you keep presenting yourselves to anyone as slaves to obey him, you are slaves of him because you obey him." (Romans 6:15)

  What will really urk any of your JW associates is to see how happy you are with your freedom.

  Cheers,

  Ozzie (of the freedom of association class)