A Friends Suicide

KariOtt

I had a wonderful time at an undisclosed location, having lunch with nonjwspouse yesterday. we shared in the conversation. nonjwspouse is a truely wonderful person. I am looking foward to another meet up. Hopefully a fer more will be able to join us at the next lunch. When I got home hubby found out that a very dear friend of ours commited suicide. we havn't seen her in about a year, but kept in touch with her and her hubby through facebook. Most feel suicide is a selfish act. That its a perminate solution to a temporary problem.Thats not true. When you suffer all your life weither from a mental health disease. Cronic Pain, or a terminal disease.The pain does not go away.Sometimes you may have a good day. Most days are not good. Those days where you struggle to just get out of bed or where you can't get out of bed. Where you can't take care of the smallest thing. You look back and discover that you serve no real pourpose. That you are just a burden and oxygen theif. A drain on society. It gets worse everyday.You look for reasons to stay alive. For your spouse and kids. For other family and friends. But there comes a time love is not enough. You start looking at ways to end it all. Then you wait for the right time to carry out your plan. If the plan was worked out well enough you will be successful and finally find the peace you deserve,craved, and wanted.The remaining spouse and children are left devisted and in shock. They wonder what could they could have done to prevent it. They blame themselves. They get angry. All perfectly correct. But trust me if they are hell bent on suicide there is nothing you can say or do to change their minds. Sure they may agree with you. But once alone they will eventually kill themselfs. Those who are left behind wonder maybe if I loved them more this could have been avoided. Sometimes love isn't enough. You can put your loved one into a psych hosiptal. From someone who has several hosiptalizations its scary as to all the new more efficent ways to kill your self.With my last hosiotalization last summer I learned a few new ways that are painless. They're fast and 100% effictave if not interupted. Psych hosiptals are one of the most dangerious places to admit your loved one to. All they do is have stupid groups, crappy food, and a staff that is there to babysit your loved one. z

BizzyBee

Yet again proving the axiom of survival of the fittest. There is only so much that other humans can do to save the self-destructive from themselves.

KariOtt

Very little actual therapy is given. They are a holding vfacility.Trust me when I say suiciders know you love them. Those left behind its not because you didn't show love. Believe me they love you too. My friend Tonya was successful. She killed herself yesterday while I was out having a lunch meet up with nonjwspouse. I know she is finally at peace. When enough time has passed I'llexplain my views with her hubby. I think no less of tonya. Actually I'm a bit jealous she was successful. I am someone who fights the will to live almost every day. Good bye Tonya.

Iown Mylife

hey Kari, sorry for your friend passing, thank you for writing about that - and

I hope to be able to join you for a lunch time sometime soon,

marina

nonjwspouse

Oh Kari,

I am so sorry to hear of such a dramatic, difficult, emotional , heartwrenching, painful event to have happend in your life just as we were enjoying a nice chat.

My heart goes out to you so very, very much. In my mind suicide is something no one can ever explain, ever. Guess, sure, try too understand, maybe. But no one can fully understand what is happening in the mind of the person going through it so, in my opinion no one can ever judge the reasonings of what is just not able to be fully explained.

I once last year finally understood how someone could feel enough misery that it could seem to be an option. Until then it was beyond my comprehention. To many people it is beyond comprehention.

Kari I wish big hug for you. BIG hug.

KariOtt

Thank you everyone for your kind words.

Band on the Run

I support rational suicide for severe and terminal illnesses. Depression is usually treatable, however. The problem is that you need effective treatment. It is sad how long meds take to work. Next, finding the right meds can take years. They only work for a limited span of time before a switch is needed. Besides ECT, there is some new brain stim. Society should realize the importance of research and development in this field. We need more effective and quicker treatment. I've seen people who were barely people. The med level is reached and they are vibrant.

LisaRose

I am sorry about your friend, that is very sad. I have known of many suicides in my time as a JW, it's always very shocking. I have had my own bouts of depression in my life, so I do understand the thought process that can lead one to consider this as an option, sometimes mental pain can be overwhelming.

I do believe the black and white thinking of the Watchtower contributes to this problem, people just don't see any way out. Then you have elders who have no training in psychology giving advice and treating everything as a spiritual problem, I am sure they do more harm than good. They use shunning because it works, it is very painful to be shunned by family and friends. Add that to any existing mental health issue and you have a recipe for suicide.

A Friends Suicide

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