Tell us a little about yourself and your family.
I’m 62, retired accountant, free lance writer. My wife is a just retired preschool teacher. We have 3 adult children, one granddaughter, who lives with us. None of us are JW’s.
Were you a born in or a convert?
Convert. Baptized in 1973, the year I graduated from college.
Are your parents / family JWs?
No.
How many generations have been JWs?
None.
Did you hold any position in the WTS? (MS, Elder etc...)
Does irregular publisher count?
Did you *really* believe in the bible, in spirits (angels, demons)?
For the first few years, less and less so as time went on.
Did you get baptised? When and why?
Yes, because I thought it was the right thing to do. Then the baptism questions talked about commitment to God, not an organization.
What was the initial trigger that made you start questioning things?
Following the 1975 failure I became disillusioned about what was going on, but did not know how to break free. As time went on I came to realize that the whole thing was irrelevant to my life. In 1988, I decided that I did not want my children to buy into the anti-education nonsense.
Where did you find information? Internet sites? Books?
The internet didn’t exist when I was leaving. I did most of my research at the Seattle Public Library.
How difficult or painful was the process of leaving?
One of the best times of my life, for the most part. It was hard to leave some friends, and my wife had a few family still in, but we’d moved to the other side of the state. Mostly it was liberating.
Was it a big dramatic exit or a careful quiet fade?
Quit going to meetings for almost a year while doing research, then we sent a big letter to Brooklyn and the local elders.
Did you convince anyone else to leave with you?
Can’t say I convinced anybody, in the spring of 1988 my wife and I found out we both had hidden copies of Crisis of Conscience. She may have been mentally out a lot longer than I was.
How were your family relations affected by your decision?
My parents were thrilled. I think the two older children were confused by parts of the process, and the sudden change to some previously forbidden things (birthdays, holidays) becoming OK.
Were you or are you still being shunned by those who didn't leave?
A few weeks after the DA letter went out, we watched a group of JW’s cross the street in front of our house, and then recross to get to our neighbors. We got a good laugh out of that. We’ve since moved and are unlikely to see a JW that knows us. I’m not sure anybody even remembers us now.
How long have you now been out?
Quit going to meetings in 1988, DA letter went into the mail on March 18, 1989
Was there anything you looked forward to doing when you left?
Celebrating Christmas, building my own relationship with God, growing my beard again (actually did that in the summer of ’88).
What are you most proud of achieving since you left?
Sobriety, although that’s not JW related. I’ve written (but have not published) two novels based very loosely on my JW experience. I’m rewriting one of them in an effort to attract a publisher.
Is there anything you miss about life in the congregation?
We had some good friends, I miss the social interaction. Not any of the rest of it.
Red pill or blue pill? Do you regret waking up to reality at all?
Never once regretted it, sometimes wished I’d done it sooner.
Did you become an atheist or transfer your faith elsewhere?
We went to an independent Evangelical church for a number of years. Left that a while back over administrative nonsense. We have not been to a church service in almost five years.
How do you now feel about religion in general?
I still consider myself a spiritual person, I have no need of organized religion.
Do you feel any guilt celebrating xmas or birthdays or doing any other JW "no-no"s?
No.
Have you attended any face-to-face meetups of ex-JWs?
We attended a support group for xjw’s for a while after we left. It was interesting, but we don’t need it.
Describe your circle of friends - mostly other ex-JWs or regular people?
Non JW, mostly non religious.
Do you tell people about your JW past?
Generally yes, if it fits in with some conversation going on already, I don’t feel a need to advertise it to everybody I know. People who have been around me know about it.
Do you feel animosity or pity toward current JWs?
Maybe some animosity for the GB, who should now better. I think most JW’s are just trying to do what they think is the right thing, they just don’t know how to think about it at all.
How do you respond to witnesses when they call at your door?
Haven’t seen one since we moved seven years ago. Were in a fairly populated area, I don’t know why we don’t see them. Last time they came to the door, I brought up the mediator issue. They assured me I didn’t know what I’m talking about (didn’t tell them I’m xjw). I gave them the Watchtower references and told them to come back. Never saw them again.
Storm the barricades or tend to the wounded? (do you favor activism or support)
Tend the wounded, and educate the public. I don’t think that attacking the Watchtower will produce a good result and feeds into their persecution complex.
What do you think is the most effective approach to reaching people still in?
Maybe plant questions (like I did with the ones that come to the door) and be ready to offer guidance when they need it.
Do you think the WTS can or should be destroyed, will continue on as-is or grow / change?
I believe that if the WTBS disappeared tomorrow a lot of its members would just finds somebody else to tell them what to do. More than a few would commit suicide. So I do not think that destroying it is either possible or even desirable. I don’t know what the future holds for them.
How has your life been impacted by your JW past?
If I hadn’t listened to the GB in 1973 I’d have at least a Master’s degree now. I had been accepted into grad school and my parents would have paid for it. Oh well. On the other hand, I picked up a lot of material to write about.
Are there things in your life you blame the WTS for?
I can’t blame the WTS for not getting the Masters. It was my decision, as it was I went back to school a few years later and studied accounting, which might have been a better career move anyway.
JW upbringing - a protection or a curse?
Doesn’t apply to me, we got out before we’d screwed up our kids too much.
How do you fill your time now it's not filled with meetings and field service?
Used to be work until the economy forced me into early retirement. Now I take care of my mother, write, and assemble 1/700 scale warship models.
Do you still have an interest in JW beliefs and doctrines?
Some, although it seems they really say much these days.
How much of your time is still spent on JW related matters?
Just some fooling around here mostly.
What do you think of the ex-JW community?
Bunch of &^%*$$#!!
Ok, seriously. There are a lot of xjw’s out there, many of whom are not part of any “community.” My wife is a good example. We talk about it if I bring it up, I think a few of her friends know about her past, but by no means all. Those of us who participate in forums like this on a regular basis of may be a very small slice of xjw’s. I don't think it is possible to make any sort of general statement about xjw’s.
Do you see yourself still being associated with the ex-JW community in 5 or 10 years time?
Probably in some way.
Do you fear the future?
Not really.
What advice would you give to anyone starting the journey of leaving the WTS?
If you have questions ask, and don’t take anybody’s answer as absolute fact. Learn to disagree with about being disagreeable, and think for yourself.
What would you change in your life if you could go back and talk to yourself?
I’d talk myself into quitting drinking sooner, and getting a real job before getting married.
Do you have any regrets about life since you left?
See above.
Can we read your life-story anywhere? (links to online or books
My blog is located at http://pathologicallyintellectual.blogspot.com/
I've been away from it for a month, dealing with a family problem. I hope to get back into it soon. If I get a book published, you will hear about it.
Want to share your own story? Please use the Interview with an Apostate: Template and post it in the Personal Experiences & Reunions section with the title "Interview with an Apostate: [your name or alias]"