Interview with an Apostate: Ozbrad

by ozbrad 4 Replies latest jw experiences

  • ozbrad
    ozbrad

    Ive been a forum member for a long time but I'm more a reader than a poster anyway here's my story.

    Tell us a little about yourself and your family.

    50 years old Australian. I'm gay and have been with my partner for 10 years now. Also owner of a cat and a dog I love dearly.

    Were you a born in or a convert?

    Born in. My parents were converted in the first year of their marriage.

    Are your parents / family JWs?

    Parents and brother still in sister disfellowshipped.

    How many generations have been JWs?

    Is that overlapping generations? 2nd then.

    Did you hold any position in the WTS? (MS, Elder etc...)

    Nothing nil nadda.

    Did you *really* believe in the bible, in spirits (angels, demons)?

    No

    Did you get baptised? When and why?

    No managed to avoid that bullet till I left on my 21st birthday.

    What was the initial trigger that made you start questioning things?

    I had a conversation with another kid once and I remember saying 'If god didnt create it then who did? and he said 'Who created god?'

    Where did you find information? Internet sites? Books?

    There was little info around when I left in 1984

    How difficult or painful was the process of leaving?

    I always wanted out just needed an excuse.

    Was it a big dramatic exit or a careful quiet fade?

    I had just turned 21 and bought myself a birthday gift of a hifi video player. I was in my bedroom playing a video and my father kicked down the door and started screaming about the evil rock and roll that was playing on the tv.
    They had previously burned most of my record collection (500 albums 3,000 singles) after a convention on records having backward masking. Better safe than sorry they said.
    I said that's it I'm leaving and I'm leaving the witnesses as well.
    That was it I was out of there. Luckily I had a job and could support myself.

    Did you convince anyone else to leave with you?

    No

    How were your family relations affected by your decision?

    Strangely enough they let me go. No elders even talked to me.
    My mother helped me find a flat.
    I wasnt out at this stage with my sexuality. It would be another 5 years before I lost my virginity.

    Were you or are you still being shunned by those who didn't leave?

    My mother still talks to me but shuns my sister who was baptised.
    Our relationship is however strained because of my gayness.Although she acknowledged my partner the other day via email which shocked me.

    How long have you now been out?

    Of the closet years darling. The JWs 29 years now.

    Was there anything you looked forward to doing when you left?

    Gay sex.

    What are you most proud of achieving since you left?

    Gay sex.

    Is there anything you miss about life in the congregation?

    Nothing. I used to find spending 30 mins in the toilet staring at the wall more interesting than the talks.

    Red pill or blue pill? Do you regret waking up to reality at all?

    I regret nothing.

    Did you become an atheist or transfer your faith elsewhere?

    I think I was always an athiest.

    How do you now feel about religion in general?

    Why hasn't it gone away yet? Talking snakes arent real.You can't lose your superpowers getting a haircut.

    Do you feel any guilt celebrating xmas or birthdays or doing any other JW "no-no"s?

    Birthdays dont mean much to me still and we dont bother with xmas not being a xtian an all.

    Have you attended any face-to-face meetups of ex-JWs?

    A ex bethellite is in my social group other than that nadda.

    Describe your circle of friends - mostly other ex-JWs or regular people?

    I know a lot of gay folk strangely enough but have many friends.

    Do you tell people about your JW past?

    Only as horror stories on halloween.

    Do you feel animosity or pity toward current JWs?

    Pity

    How do you respond to witnesses when they call at your door?

    I had an hour long discussion with a couple of JW girls on the history of the gospels and they left hurriedly when we got onto discussing the flood story.
    Waste of breath really. Last lot I saw I was washing the car outside and they just said 'Hi' and kept walking. Jehovah must have steered them away.

    Storm the barricades or tend to the wounded? (do you favor activism or support)

    You got yourself into this mess.

    What do you think is the most effective approach to reaching people still in?

    Read a book beside the bible.Having said that just reading the bible should make you an athiest.

    Do you think the WTS can or should be destroyed, will continue on as-is or grow / change?

    I thnk they're like Scientologists and lie about their numbers. Other than that its slow death by internet.Imformation is a powerful tool.

    How has your life been impacted by your JW past?

    My leaving school after year 10 at age 15 hasnt helped.

    Are there things in your life you blame the WTS for?

    See above answer.

    JW upbringing - a protection or a curse?

    My angry violent father certainly wasnt a protection.

    How do you fill your time now it's not filled with meetings and field service?

    Gay sex.
    Actually I'm a professional photographer http://www.flickr.com/photos/bardlee/
    and I Dj http://tinyurl.com/a6j687f

    Do you still have an interest in JW beliefs and doctrines?

    no

    How much of your time is still spent on JW related matters?

    Besides this forum not much.

    What do you think of the ex-JW community?

    Varied like most things in life.

    Do you see yourself still being associated with the ex-JW community in 5 or 10 years time?

    Once an exjw...

    Do you fear the future?

    Beside global warming and extremists getting the bomb no.

    What advice would you give to anyone starting the journey of leaving the WTS?

    Sunday morning sleepins rock.

    What would you change in your life if you could go back and talk to yourself?

    Don't believe your parents know everything.

    Do you have any regrets about life since you left?

    I wish I'd stayed in school longer.

  • krejames
    krejames

    Do you tell people about your JW past?

    Only as horror stories on halloween.

    hehe - liked that :)

    Nice post

  • KateWild
    KateWild

    Nice to get to know you, I think mums always love their boys, gayness or not. My son asked me a few weeks ago...

    "How do gay people have sex?"

    I said "Why do you ask?"

    he said "people say I sound gay"

    He is my precious boy I don't care either way, your post just reminded me of his question, Thanks for sharing Sam xx

  • LoisLane looking for Superman
    LoisLane looking for Superman

    Hi OzBrad. I like your answers to life... Gay sex. I am happy for you.

    I really liked your video on the clouds streaming past the house and trees.

    I am glad you are enjoying your life. Good for you!

    LoisLane

  • Xanthippe
    Xanthippe

    Ozbrad you made me smile thanks. Glad you're having fun.

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