Tell us a little about yourself and your family.
Single, middle-aged, raised in Newport (Wales) and now in Peterborough (England).
Were you a born in or a convert?
Raised in from about the age of three.
Are your parents / family Jws?
My grandmother was the first and roughly half of her sizeable offspring (eg, around 20 grandchildren) were in at some point, but now just three of four remain.
How many generations have been JWs?
Three.
Did you hold any position in the WTS? (MS, Elder etc...)
MS, full-time pioneer – and apparently very nearly (“all but holy spirit”) made elder at 25-6 – that was six months before I quit.
Did you *really* believe in the bible, in spirits (angels, demons)?
Until near the end I believed all of it, although I became more doubtful as time went on.
Did you get baptised? When and why?
In 1990 at the age of 16, I think. I just felt it was the right thing to do.
What was the initial trigger that made you start questioning things?
It was very gradual for me. I don't think there was one “trigger”. But once I started to consider the possibility TWTT then it was all pretty swift.
Where did you find information? Internet sites? Books?
The net, although it took a while before I could bring myself to search, even though I really knew by then it wasn't right.
How difficult or painful was the process of leaving?
The toughest thing I've ever done but probably nowhere near as hard as I had imagined it would be. Living with my JW parents at the time, I thought I might be thrown out of the house, but it was a great misjudgement on my part – they had far more respect for me than that.
Was it a big dramatic exit or a careful, quiet fade?
Reasonably dramatic. I was due to give a new public talk I had not prepared at all (so it was the point of no return), but four days prior I asked to “work” with the presiding officer and then told him I had doubts and wouldn't do the talk. The stand-in speaker was someone who ironically also quit not long afterwards, while I continued with a few “privileges” for 3-4 weeks and then I just stopped going.
Did you convince anyone else to leave with you?
Both parents. It's not that I set out to convince them, but they I think they saw my logic and followed.
How were your family relations affected by your decision?
With my parents strained initially and very briefly, but a lot less than I could possibly have imagined. I had always got on well with my grandmother but that was definitely not the case after I left.
Were you or are you still being shunned by those who didn't leave?
I guess I was shunned, but didn't really feel that much as I moved away from the area after 18 months.
How long have you now been out?
13 years.
What are you most proud of achieving since you left?
Becoming a national marathon champion and realising my dream job, neither of which I believe I would have achieved had I still been in.
Is there anything you miss about life in the congregation?
I liked the companionship, but then it was probably no greater than that you could also experience outside. I miss some people who were in and hope that one day they will come out of it.
Red pill or blue pill? Do you regret waking up to reality at all?
Red pill definitely. No regrets. Better to know the truth than live in bliss.
Did you become an atheist or transfer your faith elsewhere?
Atheist – or, more precisely, agnostic.
How do you now feel about religion in general?
I have no idea why someone would take it up if not led to do so by parents.
Do you feel any guilt celebrating xmas or birthdays or doing any other JW "no-no"s?
I have no problem with Christmas, but I can't really get into it at all. I buy a couple of presents for immediate family but that's it. To me, it's just for kids.
Have you attended any face-to-face meetups of ex-JWs?
Just the one – on the www.meetup.com site. Worth doing at least once if you're near to a meet-up.
Do you tell people about your JW past?
I think in 13 years I've only mentioned it just 3-4 times. I fear that people think worse of me because of it.
Do you feel animosity or pity toward current JWs?
No animosity at all. I would have viewed me exactly the same. It's not them – it's the religion.
Pity – yes, definitely.
How do you respond to witnesses when they call at your door?
Occasionally, I will take the bait. I am a “return visit” and have had plenty of extended discussions/arguments, but I will also just ignore the knock on the door sometimes.
What do you think is the most effective approach to reaching people still in?
If you can have any effect, it's just after you've left – or else you've got be pretty close to them to achieve anything.
Do you think the WTS can or should be destroyed, will continue on as-is or grow / change?
Not sure it will disappear at any point shortly. It will just continually bring out “new light” to ensure enough people hang around.
How has your life been impacted by your JW past?
I think I've done pretty well in putting it all behind me, but it's still part of me to a degree.
Are there things in your life you blame the WTS for?
I wish I hadn't been a JW, but I don't blame anyone – everything was my choice.
JW upbringing - a protection or a curse?
I believe I have quite high morals and maybe a lot of that has to do with my JW upbringing, but I'm not saying it could not have been the case without it.
Do you still have an interest in JW beliefs and doctrines?
Only because it was a big part of my life for 26 years.
How much of your time is still spent on JW related matters?
Very little but I like to log on to this site once every few days. However, for the first firxt six months or so, I was obsessed, spending virtually my time on forums like this and verifying I had made the right choice.
Do you see yourself still being associated with the ex-JW community in 5 or 10 years time?
Probably, but to a lesser extent.
What advice would you give to anyone starting the journey of leaving the WTS?
I suppose no one defines themselves as “leaving”, but I would advise anyone to just look at all the evidence. If the truth is the truth, then you have nothing lose by hearing the arguments against it.
What would you change in your life if you could go back and talk to yourself?
Just not to have got baptised. But I would probably have seen “myself” as an apostate and not listened.