This past summer has been rewarding and distressful, as some would say, it has been bitter sweet. My wife finished her degree and is now working at a hospital, (as a janitor cleaning windows), LoL. Oh, we also live in a van down by the river!
Earlier this year I finished my last course and will soon have a bachelors degree in Business Administration. My original goal 30+ years ago was in engineering. Wifee, has said that once she is earning the "big" bucks, she would work while I get the degree I wanted. All I can say, is "What a wife"! For her to even mention returning the favor It must be love.
I left my home town nearly a decade ago, like the cowboy slowing riding into the sunset, and hopefully I have been forgotten. I am not disassociated nor disfellowshipped. I moved away and did a radical fade.
Recently my anxiety is family slowly finding out that me nor my family are doing anything about the "truth". Recently, I told you all about a conversation I had with a relative going on a motorcycle trip. He took everything alright, and has been in close association pretty much (for someone living in another town.) I think I may have an unconditional friend.?? To recall, I mentioned the many dates that ended up with no armeggedon, including in my lifetime 1975, the generation of 1914, and WTBTS's involvement with the United Nations being an NGO for over 10 years.
Recently, My wife's mom had written an email about her attending meetings and not leaving Jehovah. Just that little admonition wrecked havoc on my wife's emotional stability for a bit, and I thought for a while that wifee would begin going to the meetings again just to appease her mom.
Recently, I had a friend call my wife thinking that was my number, (rigggghhhhttttt), and told my wife how my mother was worried about me because she didn't know if I was going to the meetings, Oh, he also mentioned that mom said that I "didn't want anything to do with my mother". My wife corrected him saying that I have tried to call mom several times, but she won't return the call after repeatedly leaving messages on her home phone and cell phone.
Interesting part of the JW dysfunctional family, is that after Dad died, my older brother has taken emotional and informational control over my mom and she has believed his lies, especially about me and my family. After a decade of being in the bethel environment it's interesting what he took away from that group.....for twently points: How to lie! Yes. His posturing is all for the money the family had, he is unsuccessful in business, basically an ex-bethelite looser, sponging off of mom, living in her house, and probably using most of her social security payments, do I need to say more?
So in all the lies that were fed to my mom, older brother did a wonderful job of a character assasination of Jake. I never had a problem with my mother before my dad's death, but shortly after Dad's funeral, the relationship with mom went south. It took me four years and my wife standing up for me to the family to figure out that it had been a carefully planned four year character assasination.
Mom blamed every accumulated bad thing in life on me, I think from 1958, and after SHE blew up on me, enticed the elders to empose a "congregational restraining order". Everyone that knows me knows that I'm pretty even keel easy going guy. As serving as an elder, I never knew the elders had this authority to impose a family restraining order, I must have missed that chapter in the shepperding book. When the elders talked to me about it I was polite and then went and talked to my lawyer, who wrote a butt slapping letter to each elder individually. However, unfortuneatly, and to my regret, I didn't send the letters.
Instead, I wrote a card telling Mom that I was sorry that our friendship had suffered and that I appologized for any misunderstandings but that we needed to move on, and she responded to me with a note saying that I needed to contact the body of elders to see if THEY felt it was a "good idea" to reconcile. This is from a women that I did all the maintenance on her house, (and it was a hell of a estate and property,) with pools, 5 car garage, acreage, water wells, etc.
One of the things the lawyer was adamante about was that "religious orders" were supposed to help families reconcile differences, and help them apply "Bible" principles to remediate the problems or difficulties. Churches are not supposed to issue "restraining orders". This "worldly lawyer", who I will say was a friend, was furious with the organization when I originally discussed this problem.
So now I have a mom throwing rocks at me from over a 1000 miles away that hasn't seen me in nearly a decade and hasn't talked with me in over a year. A sister that tells me that I should go back to the meetings so that I can see Dad (deceased) again. (Motivation by fear and guilt.) A MIL asking about our meeting attendance, and a sister in law asking the same, wondering why.
While not disfellowshiped or disassociated I sometimes think it would be an answer in a diffinitive way. I just wanted to vent.