Why do i feel guilty?

by DS211 7 Replies latest jw friends

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  DS211

  Last night i had a few drinks and messaged one of my old friends. I havent seen or spoken to him in a few years because when i became a witness i could not condone or be a part of his worldly behavior...so last night i came clean and i told him why ive basically shunned him the last few years and he said it made sense (he used to be a witness a long time ago). He said he was pissed for a while but he got over it and all that....I apologised and expressed my own doubts and my situation and he said he understood. I feel guilty, not about what happened but that i talked to him and i am afraid of getting into old habits i had when i hing out with him. And i doubt my wife would want me to Ever hang out with him again lol. So i need to tell her that i talked to him and explained why i stopped hanging out with him....except the part about all my doubts.

  So maybe im just a bit paranoid because another person knows of my doubts and im afraid tyat hell slip up and say something...Sorry for ranting but its amazing what the WT has taught me to feel towards the situation :-/...sucks.
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  BackseatDevil

  It sounds less about guilt and more about conflict of interest. guilt is a form of self-shame. It's good to have it because it keeps us from doing bad to others. The guilt you have isn't geared toward others, its toward yourself. With an internalized cycle it is more about conflict. Guilt is just one of the surfacing avenues.
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  adamah

  Most JWs are encouraged NOT to keep secrets: in fact, they're the very definition of the worst blabbermouths in the World, since they have the good news and want to share it with EVERYBODY!

  It's natural to want to tell others TTATT too, but don't risk your own exit plan in any attempts to save "non-essentials" (non-family) members, since you may end up learning a painful life lesson "the hard way" when you're outed against your wishes.

  There's an old saying that the road to Hell is paved with good intentions; don't let your own ego and personal guilt over shunning others over-power your common sense, since there will be plenty of time for coming clean with others AFTER you manage to exit successfully (hopefully with your marriage intact).

  Adam
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  ABibleStudent

  Hi DS211, It sounds like you have a few WTBTS induced phobias in your mind. You have done nothing wrong. It is normal to question leaders. I even feel it is healthy, otherwise leaders may lead followers over cliffs like lemmings.

  Why do you have to tell your wife that you expressed doubts to your friend? If she asks, just tell her you had a nice conversation with him about non-religious matters. Since I consider the WTBTS leaders like con-men and the WTBTS as a dangerous cult, I do not consider talking about the WTBTS as being religious.

  Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

  Robert
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  DS211

  I wasnt planning on telling her that i expressed my doubts but onky that i talked to him and told him why it was i stopped hanging out with him...and that he actually reacted positively to it. My wife knows very little of just how far my doubts go...however entrusting to my friend that i am having doubts beings the phobia of being "outed" although i do not think he would do that...hes totally out of the JWs and understands what im going through.
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  DS211

  I agree with you Robert! I think i will do that thanks.
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  Captain Blithering

  Good advice up there...

  DS - I really feel an affinity with you, you type my brain, we must be in fairly similar circumstances... Best of luck buddy!
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  DS211

  Thanks cap'n. I e had that similar feeling with some on this board. Perhaps we have some telepathic connection :-0