Putting Things into Perspective

by startingover13 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • startingover13
    startingover13

    Some time has passed since my disfellowshipping, and even more time since I've been to a meeting. With the stress of finally moving out, university, and work issues, I haven't had much time to reflect on my past life as one of Jehovah's Witnesses and what it really meant. As I left my hometown on the bus yesterday evening, I finally had some "chill" time. Time to think, reflect, and put things into perspective. As I sat at the bus station waiting to transfer, a pair of magazines caught my eye on the bench. It was the pair of Watchtower and Awake for the month of November. To shed some light on my background, I spent the final 4 years as a JW in a foreign language field. As Nelson Mandela said, if you speak to someone in a language that they understand, you'll reach his head. But if you speak to him in his own language, you will reach his heart. Now while I've paraphrased that statement, I believe that finally reading the literature in English reached me on a more profound level. Instead of reading in preparation for a meeting or field service, I began to read and understand the points that the magazines were making. Moral values, sexting, and the qualities of God were among some of the issues covered. It dawned on me in that moment that the problem was simple; growing up in the organization, I had never read the publications for personal application. The sad fact is that few JWs read the publications for leisure. It's mostly in preparation for meetings or field service. Any other time they have is dedicated to work, personal duties, and of course, the never ending cycle of "personal study."

    As with any major enterprise, the WTBTS has its flaws. Part of the reason that my fundamental beliefs were shaken was because I was an idealist. I hadn't cultivated a relationship with God at all, but with an organization. A way of doing things, so to say. I believed that I was part of God's chosen people. I sought out the best in my brothers and sisters, ignoring all of thier faults. It wasn't until I came of age that I realized that Jehovah's Witnesses are humans first. Yes, I've experienced and heard ignorant and racist remarks while with brothers. Yes, 40% of young ones my age have been disfellowshiped. Yes, the warm "brotherly love" seemed to cool off once I began to struggle out here on my own trying to make my place in this world. Even more so when I went to college. But you know what? That's fine. God's love has still kept me happy. My amazing family has been there through thick and thin. And the few friends that I have held onto, in and out of the organization, have showed me what unconditional friendship and love is.

    My point in all of this is that the practical knowledge and wisdom that many of the publications contain is useful. Money issues, family matters, and Bible based answers about common problems in life. The sad thing is that many JWs rarely delve into the deeper meaning of them. What's more, many "worldly" (I detest this word now) people know these things and teach them to their children from a young age. The benefit of having a father who wasn't baptized until he was in his late 30's is that I learned a lot of practical things from him. He's had a life before the organization, so his view of the world is more balanced and he used Bible principles in his life. My mother is also an example of someone that has truly cultivated a Christian personality. In my disfellowshiped state, I've had time to really get to know myself. I've learned that a personal relationship with God is the only way one can truly be a Christian. Forget the titles; Jehovah's Witness, Penecostal, Baptist, Methodist, etc. As one famous comedian said, "Forget the messenger, did you get the message?" I feel that I've grown spiritually. I have become more loving, compassionate, and balanced in my dealings with others. I no longer condemn someone because of their circumstances, or pity them because they sincerely don't have time for me on Saturday morning at 10 am. Those close minded ways didn't lead to happiness, rather contempt, fear, and depsite my best efforts, feelings that I could always do more. In closing, those 2 magazines at the bus station helped me put things into perspective. No, I won't be destroyed in a short amount of time. It's o.k to explore my talents and abilities. And finally, if I apply BIBLE (keyword) principles in my life, I'll be alright. There may be some bumps and bruises, but I will sleep better at night knowing that my life is worth something. That I used my 70 or 80 years (with special mightiness ) for good, and lived as a true Christian. Thanks for reading.

  • runForever
    runForever

    I would still be careful and avoid the organization if I were you.

  • Crazyguy
    Crazyguy

    Take your new knowledge and Join a non denominational church, one you like. These type of churches are growing as more and more christians want to leave the baggage of a sect. Like you said and Paul agreed :"its not apollos or cephas or me Paul that matters is the one who died for us christ".

  • ABibleStudent
    ABibleStudent

    Hi startingover13, In time you may change your mind about the WTBTS's propaganda. IMHO the WTBTS propaganda promotes how to follow the WTBTS's rules and not how to be a moral and loving individual.

    Every time I read a Watchtower, Awake!, or NWT I get a headache. To me a happy life is simple: "unconditional love". The WTBTS's propaganda seems duplicitious to me, which is probably why I get a headache reading it.

    Although I do believe in loving others unconditionally, I am human, so I do not like it when people try to take advantage of me or other people. The WTBTS twists the Bible and stories to victimize JWs to donate money to the WTBTS instead of promoting unconditional love or providing valuable information that helps individuals to live a better life.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

    Robert

  • oppostate
    oppostate

    The public issues of the WT and g are the carrot.

    The study edition is the whip.

  • jwfacts
    jwfacts

    I hadn't cultivated a relationship with God at all, but with an organization.

    I think the magazines are to blame for that. Watchtower is so paranoid about people being part of their organisation, and promote that so incessantly, that a relationship with God becomes second place.

  • sarahsmile
    sarahsmile

    I did not look at Watchtowers for years! I just started to read them again looking for the basic ending. But it seems the ending is gone. Study with Jehovahs Witnesses.

    Anyhow, something is changing about their writing style. It sounds nice and simple until I got to Hail Jesus 100 year anniversary. They are celibrating Jesus kingship staring 1914.

    Again one can read several articles then the hook starts! If it looks like an occult it is.

    It very hard for exJW to become involved with another religion. But I think it is also a big mistake if they dont.

    Dealing with Trinity is the hardest subject once you get past that one another church could keep you from loneliness and fullfill your spirituality.

  • Oubliette
    Oubliette

    starting over: In my disfellowshiped state, I've had time to really get to know myself.

    Welcome! Thanks for sharing your experience. You have a lot of really thought provoking things to share!

    I see you've already gotten some good feedback.

    Being DF'd is (usually) a painful experience. But cultivating a relationship with yourself is the best thing you can do.

  • startingover13
    startingover13

    Thanks to everyone for your positive feedback and insight. Have a great week.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Interesting observation. Once we've been away for a while, we get a very different perspective. The magazines are just curious printed words on paper, rather than more duty and obligation written by god.

    Sure, the WT has published articles that give good advice, and by becoming JWs, some have ended harmful addictions or improved their lives in other ways. Yet, there are lots of other people that have improved their lives by getting "higher eduction" or following other nonJW paths. And certainly there's far more good advice published in other books and magazines. Toward the end, I'd read an article and get to the end, thinking, "That's it?" It was either same-ole same-ole nothing new, or something almost interesting, but covered so briefly and superficially that it seemed a waste of time.

    And many things that we learned to label as "bible principles" are not unique to Christianity. Other religions and even atheists (gasp) have morals.

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