Sample Letters to Silentlambs' JC BOE (Joke)

by dungbeetle 9 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  dungbeetle

  I'll start with the first one. Let's make this fun.

  Dear Body of Elders of xxxx Congregation:
  In Regards to your action to form a Judicial Committee regarding the actions of Silentlambs and his corageous supporters:

  Personally, I am still in the organization and nothing that this dear brother of ours has done can change my mind about the nature and purpose of God's only channel of communication.

  However, I believe, and so do many of my constituents, that it might be wise to consider the examples of David who did not touch King Saul without authorization, but waited for his demise 'in due time'. Also consider the example of God's prophet and his tormenters, and how God sent out she-bears to deal with these disobedient ones.

  God handles things in his due time. We do not know how God will deal with dear Bro. Bowen, perhaps HE will send lightening to strike him down at an outdoor family gathering; better yet, perhaps he will cause Bro. Bill's car to run off the road in rush hour traffic and take several other car-fuls of young people with him.

  Certainly it is not beyond our God to work out something that will bring much fanfare and attention to the plight of our organization that this dear misguided brother has worked so hard to draw attention to.

  But it would not be good to 'run ahead' of Jehovah and take action ouselves on our brother. Perhaps in time, with all the love we show him, he may repent and turn around and make friends with all the pedophiles he has been maligning so vehemently of late. Would that not be a wonderful event that would make Jehovah's heart glad?

  With the end so close, dear brothers, we should be continue to be as innocent as serpents and cautious as doves, with an end view to pleasing our Heavenly Father, who sent His only begotten Son to die for all Pedophiles first and everyone else second.

  We live in wondrous times, dear brothers. May the love of the God of pedophiles be with you on into the New Order.

  Peace, your loving Sister always, Dungbeetle.
• 

  Mimilly

  Dungbeetle, I had just come from Silentlambs and had my shakles raised, but you did a wonderful job on that letter. I had to laugh at the ingenuity of word placement.

  I doubt that letter could be topped! But I'll keep reading, and maybe the congestion in my head will clear long enough so that I can come up with one of my own.

  :D
  Mimilly
• 

  Dutchie

  To the Body of Elders
  Unnamed Congregation
  Somewhere, Kentucky
  United States of America

  Re: Letter to Silent Lambs and Associates

  Gentlemen (and I use the term loosely):

  With regard to your letter to Silentlambs advising him that he is to appear before a Judicial Committee, please be advised that he would like nothing better than to appear before you. Silentlambs is guilty of no action that would result in his being disfellowshipped, he is not afraid of you puny, self-righteous men, and so he is eager to make his appearance before you.

  He is absolutely astounded that you mentioned in your letter that he is causing “division” in the congregation. Exactly what form of “division” are you referring to? You had better be prepared to answer this question when Silentlambs appears before you or there will be consequences to bear that will make you shudder. If you think that Armageddon is something to be feared ....... well I am sure you get the picture.

  Simply for your information, be advised that Silentlambs will not be appearing alone when he comes to keep his appointment with the Judicial Committee. He is bringing along with him some of the thousands of people who have been molested by Jehovah’s Witnesses and they are all prepared to thoroughly kick the asses of all members of the committee as soon as they step outside of the Kingdom Hall. If the word “disfellowship” is even uttered in the presence of Silentlambs during the aforesaid meeting, the blows issued upon your bodies will be doublefold and you will bemoan the day you were born.

  Proceed carefully,

  Cc: Governing Body
• 

  dungbeetle

  >Gentlemen (and I use the term loosely):<

  ROTFLMAO....
• 

  Mimilly

  >they are all prepared to thoroughly kick the asses of all members of the committee <

  haha... Pick me! Pick me!
• 

  plmkrzy

  Dutchie!!Dutchie!!Dutchie!!

  DID THAT ALL COME FROM YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  BBWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  http://ourworld.cs.com/pwmkwzy/PicturePage.html
• 

  Bendrr

  Dungbeetle, why write this letter off as a joke? I say send it!
  With a little refinement it could be a very sharp sword indeed. You have to realize that Bill can't be the only elder pained by the pedophile policies of the Empire.

  I copied and pasted your letter to this post and have sat here for the last hour using it as a template for my own, editing over and over. You had a good idea, sending letters of support for Bill to the elders. I want to suggest we all do just that, and that we also cc those letters to Brooklyn.

  Here's my letter. Maybe some of you could add something to it, especially some chapter and verse biblical references since I don't have a bible handy.

  Dear Body of Elders of xxxx Congregation:

  It has come to my attention that there is possible judicial action intended for Brother Bill Bowen and many who support him.

  Even though I am no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses this hurts me deeply because I still care very much for all the Witnesses, especially the innocent children. I, like many others, see Brother Bowen's cause as one of love and concern, a courageous and righteous cause, not a rebellion against Jehovah or the Organization.

  I believe, and so do many - both Witnesses and others - that it would be wise to consider the message carefully as did the Beoreans to see if these things are true before "killing the messenger".

  Jehovah handles things in his due time. We do not know how God will deal with Brother Bowen and the serious issues he has worked so hard to bring to light. And it is certainly not up to you or I to judge him because as the scriptures tell us only Jehovah knows his heart.

  Jehovah tells us in His Word the Bible that all that is hidden will be brought to light. Who are we to say that this is not a test, that Jehovah is revealing "leaven", bringing to light corruption and uncleanness that requires action?

  Could you honestly say that you would not be covering over evil by ignoring Brother Bowen's message and instead removing him from Jehovah's Organization?

  The scriptures tell us we are a spectacle to the world and while no part of the world we still must be conscious of how we are viewed by it. Such action against Brother Bowen would serve to bring reproach on Jehovah's Earthly Organization and show to the world a lack of humility and love.

  I would ask you to treat Brother Bowen as Jesus would. The world says that people in glass houses should not throw stones and Jesus told us not to remove the straw from our brother's eye without first removing the rafter from our own.

  Respectfully,
  Mike Ganas.

  whatever...
• 

  Dutchie

  Hi Plum, well, yes, and it was fun too. I guess Ms. Dung got me sort of stirred up! Not to mention the thought of poor Silentlamb and the disgusting JC letter.
• 

  dungbeetle

  Bendr, why don't you start another thread like this, but with serious letters?

  I'm waiting to hear back from Bill as to what he wants us to do. This whole things affects his family as well as himself, so I won't do anything untill we hear from him.

  Your letter is fabulous, I'm going to use YOURS as a template for MINE!!!
• 

  rmayer32

  LOL.. Now that is some good stuff!

  -Rick