a "worldly" (gasp) Catholic just showed my huaband what true integrity is

by nonjwspouse 9 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  nonjwspouse

  He was a tenant of ours in 2009 on a visa, but was unaware of all the rules,such as checking in with any new address. After some time, although hardworking, he lost his job and began getting behind in rent. He promised to keep paying as much as he could. We allowed this to help him. Then he was deported due to the visa violation.His young son saw him handcuffed in his own house and sobbed for days and days after he left. We allowed his wife tostay, gave her a smaller cheaper place to rent, but she couldn't get a job either so finally moved in with other people. She also promised to someday pay back all they owe us.

  Fast forward to yesterday. The former tenant searched and found us. Called my husband to please come over to pick up the money they saved ($1000 of it). The man and his wife said they never want to owe others and especially appreciated all the understanding and help my husband gave to them. ( 2009 was during the time my husband was not interested in returning to the JW at all)

  So these big bad Catholics wanted to repay him from the integrity of thier lives, out of the goodness in their hearts.

  A bit of wake up dose of reality that the "worldly"/ non JW people are not all the WTBTS keeps saying they are. YAY, I love it when he is reminded of this!

  My husband is so very impressed with him he wants to hire him when he is able. Unless or until the man can find full time employment. He also wants to have them move in to our one rental house that is yet to be finished fixing. My husband even wants me to see about getting their son into the Catholic School the live near. The son has a horrible time in the public school and they didn't realize they could apply for the Catholic School when they are Catholic and not even have to pay if they can't afford it.

  The former tenant contrasts with the one JW family my husband offered to help in 2012, he worked a LOT on their house, and tried to employ the unemployed man, and smelled alochol on him, and found him wasting time every chance he got. I couldn't have created a better contrast example if I had tried to plan it! Imagine, a JW man taking advantage and drinking on the job!!
• 

  Tech49

  I have to agree.

  My personal experience has shown that it is NEVER in my best interests to employ "brothers". I have never seen a more lazy, whiney, self-centered bunch in all my life. Now mind you, there are alot of "worldly" idiots as well, but I can honestly say that the guys and gals in my company right now are a great bunch, and NONE of them are "brothers". The "friends" usually dont last more than a month or so. The last one, I personally fired because he straight up LIED to my face about doing work at a jobsite, when he hadnt done a stinkin thing. Another fellow I hired as a favor to an elder was the most lazy fool I have ever seen... I caught him sleeping on another jobsite. Another down and out, unemployed window-washer (no joke) I felt pity for..... he asked me for a raise the SECOND DAY! 3 days after that, he quit because he said he wasnt making enough (I was paying way more than minimum wage, and had promised a CASH bonus to help him out if he did a good job for me), and it got in the way of his Pioneering. So back on welfare he went! (again, no joke).

  I have had more no-show, quit-because-its-hard, I'm-sick, I'm-worth-more-money excuses from JW's than anyone else, hands down. That's just my experience, I know others have had better luck, but my wife Victoria continually has to remind me..... "Dont hire Witnesses, you know it isnt going to work out...)

  Their general attitude is that they are owed something, and they don't owe anyone anything to anyone else.
• 

  nonjwspouse

  tech 49 ,I must say, our experience with tryingt to hire from"the 'hood" has been similar. Granted we have met and known some highly motivated hard working individuals there as well, but unfortunatly, it has been the minority. My husband used to try to hire someone close by to help mow a rental, only to be disappointed 99% of the time. ( Once he found a fantastic, consistant guy so he upped his pay, so we can never say never right?) But there does seem to be a general attitude of being owed. The favorite thing we predict to hear , and hear it a LOT, in almost exact words.. "whooo, Man, I didn't know it was going to be THIS hard" halfway into doing a job they agreed to do.
• 

  label licker

  We had a so called brother who said he could paint and it was the worse nightmare ever. He told us since it was going through insurance that he was going to quote high. He never did finish the job and the insurance paid him and the insurance also paid for the new painter that replaced him. The new painter was way cheaper and better. Another brother took all our livestock and the deal was that he pay us in the spring once they had their babies. A year later I went up to him and asked for my five grand and he said he totally forgot he owed us five thousand dollars. Never again!
• 

  nonjwspouse

  Grrr LL how infuriatiing!

  I know that one early into our marriage my husband remarked on a couple he was goingn to try to rent to. He comented how they were JW so he knew thay could be trusted, only later to find they were swindlers. He remarked later on how highly suprised and dissapointed he was. This was long before he showed renwed interest in being involved with the JW again. I guess it was still his JW upbringing emotional indoctrination coming out. I asked him about that incident more recently, and of course he remembers nothing of the sort. ( convenient for this indoctrinated mind huh?) If only I had a tape recorder of THAT conversation early on. I must say I throughly enjoy the fact he wants to tape all our heart to heart, serious conversations. Even though I let my emotions sometimes run too high,and get upset, it is still so completely valuable to remind him of his own words. I am sometimes emotional, but I do say what I mean. It's not hard for me to remember what I said, I think about it first and it is real. He has a hard time keeping up with his version of conversations, which is why I am so thrilled HE decided on his own to use a tape recorder! ;-) I recognise now it is his JW childhood trained subconcious that promotes him making things "fit" versions he wants to fit.

  I recall a marriage counciler we were seeing for a while ( one who knew nothing about the JW and saw me as causing many,, not all, problems) when my husband said he was using a tape recorder for our conversations. The therapist looked at me suprised, expecting me to be upset about it. I told him I was completely ok with it and agreed fully that we needed that recorder. That therapist had his problems, but he did a few goodthings, and importantly, got my nusband to actually see a therapist! The guy was even a (gasp) Catholic! ( He never allowed religion to be a topic for him, and discouraged us having it as topic between us.)
• 

  label licker

  Yeah, I hear you. The best part is when you go to tell the elders to take care of it, they end up coming to your home and reading the scripture on why not let yourselves be wronged. At least in our case that's what happened to us and the one elder that came was the very one who told another elder he will step over anyone to get to the top. When I look back in just the short time we were in, I think what a twilight zone. So glad we are out.
• 

  sir82

  I have to say my experience with hiring "brothers" is similar to Tech49's, though perhaps not to the same degree.

  There are some that do good quality work - but it's a crapshoot. Same approximate ratio of JWs doing good / crappy work as the ratio of "worldly" tradesmen.

  The problem is, if a JW screws you over on work, you're not supposed to "bring reproach on Jehovah's name" by taking him to small claims court.

  My personal policy is, anything with any potential to be problematic, avoid hiring JWs.
• 

  Faithful Witness

  We (as Bible students) were told ALL about the virtues of the JW contractor!

  We hired 3 JW's, separately, to do some contract work on our house. They were typical contractors: Show up late, leave early, no clean-up.

  When we need work done on our home or property, we hire the Amish!!
• 

  label licker

  Faithful witness, I agree totally when it comes to hiring the mennonites. They are cheap and their workmanship is of good quality. They built our barn for us and did our eavestroughing around the house. However, I haven't met one that paints. I would hire them before anyone especially the witlesses.
• 

  Faithful Witness

  label licker, We always ask for referrals. They each have a specialty. There has to be someone who paints, unless they all have unpainted houses! :)