I'm no butterfly

by teejay 4 Replies latest jw friends

  • teejay
    teejay

    A while back, I got an email – a parable about how caterpillars turn, through struggle, into butterflies. Supposedly, the point of parable is that the struggles humans commonly suffer and endure are good for us -- in the end, we benefit. If you’ve never read it, here it is:

      One day a small opening appeared on a cocoon, a man sat
      and watched for the butterfly for several hours as it
      struggled to force its body through that little hole.
      Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared
      as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go
      no further.

      So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair
      of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon.
      The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen
      body and small, shriveled wings.

      The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected
      that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to
      be able to support the body, which would contract in time.
      Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of
      its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled
      wings. It never was able to fly.

      What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand
      was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required
      for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were
      God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly
      into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once
      it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

      Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life.
      If God allowed us to go through our life without any
      obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong
      as what we could have been. We could never fly.


    It’s not all that uncommon for me to witness an event (or a life) that causes me to strongly question the relevance of this parable to the human experience. A good example is when I see my little 3 yr-old trying to crawl up on the sofa to sit with me or see her trying to accomplish some other task that is just above her actual ability – like trying to tie her own shoes. It’s my contention that people aren’t caterpillars yearning to be butterflies. There are times in our lives when, if someone comes along and snips off the remaining part of the “cocoon” from which we are trying to escape, we not only benefit but we are then able to fly even farther and do much more than we might have been able to do otherwise.

    Just like Martin, years ago I had a dream. My boyhood friend Jon (a fellow Witness) was the “star” of the dream, but the dream was about much more than him. It became one of the (if not THE) most meaningful dreams I’ve ever had...

    Jon and I were swimming. He was out in the middle of the deep end of the pool and was waist up out of the water without making any motion whatsoever. Watching him from poolside, I was mystified. How in the hell was he able to stand so far out of the water—his head should have been far below the surface of the 9’ deep pool! I stuck my head beneath the water's surface and saw that he was standing on someone's shoulders.

    Up till then, I had often felt a tinge of envy in comparing my life to Jon’s, comparisons that came easily since we were months apart in age; in the same grade in school; and always at similar point in our ‘spiritual advancement.’ Throughout our lives, Jon had several significant advantages unavailable to me – not the least being his parent’s stable marriage – and sure enough, he was always able to accomplish a little more than me along the way. His path to success was a bit easier and the nightvision taught me that his greater success was linked directly to the help he'd received since birth as the struggles came. I never again felt a bit envious of my friend Jon, or few others, for that matter. It was a good dream.

    I watch Sunday Morning on CBS. It is very fine television. I highly recommend it. Every Sunday there are profiles of people who are (or may not be) widely known, but are people who have “made it.” I’m also intrigued by profiles of individual careers that I read about in papers and magazines. Having reached my middle years, people my age or even younger that have (and ARE) making meaningful accomplishments in life catch my attention. Here, the lesson of The Dream resurfaces. For them to do this, certain things must always take place:

    First, they decide early in life what their dreams are, what they want to do with their lives, and start as early as possible working to make their dreams come true. In interviews with celebrities or businesses people or who-ever, this is a constant fixture. They nearly ALWAYS say that, “when I was a kid, I knew that I wanted to be a...” Judy Garland was 2 or 3 when her tremendous singing voice was discovered and nurtured. Tiger Woods was about the same age when he began to swing a club. Yet, having a dream, even doing all we can working toward it, is seldom enough.

    A second and more important feature is education. It is almost impossible to receive TOO MUCH instruction and training. Virtually every single person who’s accomplished anything in life has gotten some (or a lot of) college. Alexander Graham Bell –featured on a recent Sunday Morning episode – invented the telephone when he was 29, having been urged to pursue a college career by educated parents. He basically retired two years later, spending the rest of his life as a “gentleman inventor.” Examples abound of the importance of advanced training being a vital factor in setting us up for a meaningful life.

    This brings up what is, to me, probably the MOST important component if we hope that our life will ever reach its full potential—the part that leads me to disagree with the parable that started this post. We must have help, and the more the better. Help from parents who encourage us; educators who pass on information as well as inspiration; mentors who see something extraordinary; financial backers willing to bend established rules “to help the kid out.” There are countless examples of those who “got lucky” when a previously unknown helper or mentor came along without the recipient expecting it.

    I don't totally disagree with the message held in the parable “Butterfly.” I have no doubt that we each have talents, often latent, that will bring us immeasurable success AND happiness in life. Usually, the question isn't “Do I have special gifts?” but is more often, “What are they?” Once discovered and pursued, it does our character little good if we are simply handed everything and have every single obstacle moved out of our way.

    Still, people aren't butterflies, and analogies drawn between bugs (or animals) and humans cannot always be fitted well against the human experience. Suffering, hardship, misfortune and trouble may well build character – assuming one lives through the ordeals – but I’d rather have a helping hand (or give one) every now and then.

    __________
    Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home. – Bill Cosby

  • Imbue
    Imbue

    There is no such thing as equal in our human experience. We are all born into established circumstances which are not equal. However some do not make the best of there circumstances whatever they may be. If an individual is creative and productive then they are functional. And making the best of their circumstances. If they sit around and on the pity pot then they are not functional or making the best of their circumstances.

    No, we are not butterfly's we are communal creatures and we need an appropriate amount of nurturing. However, too much nurturing can swell our wings and keep us from becoming creative and productive.

    They are called "Mama's boys"...lol

    "Not part of the inner circle class"-Larc

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine

    I agree completely. I think analogies can be taken to ridiculous extremes. Something about sheep comes to mind. Learning parables are great, but sometimes you can literally watch the wheels of someones mind churn as they try to hammer every aspect of life into the mold of this or that "wise" parable.

    I do think that some folks who have overcome great odds/disasters, go overboard in attributing silver linings to said odds/disasters. Still, I admire those people no less for it.

    I give you a "G" on all points except for "audience contact and use of notes" and "poise and personal appearance". I know thin, square ended ties are trying to make a comeback, but lets not give them any help, shall we? (it does go nicely with that members jacket though )

    *note to audience* sometimes the brothers give us themes which do not lend themselves well to "material adapted for the field ministry". It was appropriate for bro. teejay to ignore that counsel point in developing his material.

  • teejay
    teejay

    Imbue

    I agree: not everyone takes advantage of all of the positive circumstances available to them. On the other hand, through a force of will, perseverance and luck, others rise far above what they “should” have accomplished in life.

    For example, on the same program that profiled Bell was another one – of Madam C.J. Walker. Born to ex-slaves, she built a very successful business and eventually became a self-made millionaire. Her story is very inspirational but uncommon. Not many successful people have followed her route.

    ---------------------
    I give you a "G" on all points except for "audience contact and use of notes" and "poise and personal appearance". I know thin, square ended ties are trying to make a comeback, but lets not give them any help, shall we?

    Funny, funny, funny, Six! Had to laugh at that one.

    One of my all-time favorite ties was teal with a square end. Quite debonair, if I say so myself. Loved that tie.

    And, glad you got something out of my #5 talk, even though it’s not suited for the ministry. Oh well... there’s life outside of the org, I guess.

  • simplesally
    simplesally

    I am sorry, have none of you seen my photo?

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