More Joys of Womanhood

by teenyuck 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • teenyuck
    teenyuck

    As I read VeniceIt's thread, I remembered what happened to me a few years ago.

    I worked for Lucent Tech in Wichita, Kansas. I reported to a young man (about 22) who had just gotten out of college and just got married. I am a "little" older...

    Being female and on birth control requires at least one yearly visit to get pills. The docs will not prescribe oral contraceptives without a pap smear. (I hope all you gentlemen know what that is)

    My visit finally came. Again, being a woman, you need to make your appointment 5-8 months in advance. Ob/Gynos are really booked up.

    I approached my manager (Young Rick, YR for short) and advised that I had a doctor appointment the next day, so I would have to be gone for about 2 hours. I of course would make up my hours and would call if I would be gone longer.

    YR looked confused. "Why do you need to be gone for about 2 hours?"

    "Well, I have to drive there (about 15 minutes each way) and wait for the doc."

    YR-"Can't you make a new appointment, you know we are kinda backed up?"

    "No, it took 6 months to get my appointment. If I cancel, I will have to wait....for a long time."

    Again the confused look. YR-"Why?"

    "I am going to the gyno...it takes awhile to get an appointment and wait for the doc."

    He looked like a deer in headlights.

    Since he was being so naive, I decided to let him know exactly why I was going.

    "Rick, I need a pap smear...I have to get that done so I can get birth control pills....if I don't get my pills, I might get pregnant...that will really cause a long term backlog, since no one is trained to back me up.

    You know, there is nothing worse than being butt naked, laying on your back, with your feet in stirrups. Having a doctor insert that cold metal thing that spreads you apart is not fun. You should ask your wife about it."

    Rick turned white, than red. In the meantime, every co-worker within hearing distance, stopped working and stood up to listen.

    Everyone looked shocked. (They were all from Kansas. I am from Chicago.)

    Moral of the story.....if you ask why someone has to go to the doctor, be prepared for the answer.

    Oh yeah, one other thing...ask your questions in a conference room or private area, not the open cubicle arrangement.

    Rick learned that if he ever questioned where I was going I would give the most explicit answer. I discovered that most men are totally unprepared to handle the answer.

    Watching him squirm was priceless!

  • Mimilly
    Mimilly

    ROTFLMAO!

    Way to go Puffs

  • Pierced Angel
    Pierced Angel

    LOL! That's great, wish I could have seen his face, he deserved it.
    A friend of mine told me once that if you want to call in sick to work and don't want to be harrassed about it, just tell them you're suffering from bad diarrhea. They usually don't want to know anything more after that.

  • Billygoat
    Billygoat

    (((Puffs and Pierced)))

    Y'all are hilarious!!!

    Andi

  • teenyuck
    teenyuck

    Pierced Angel--that is great!

    I realized as I typed this that my husband still does not understand what a pap smear is.

    I explained it a few months ago and he looked sick...from fright. I told him to come with me on the next visit....he could watch and learn! I thought we would pass out of fright!

  • bchapp
    bchapp

    LOL, this is funny. Kinda reminds me of the time I was a teenager, and we were on a road trip with my parents. Well I told my dad, I've got to stop a rest area ASAP. If you know my dad, he hates to stop. Anyway, he said can't you just hold it for a while. No, I have to stop, I said. He insisted, so I had to tell him point blank. I'm on my period and it's soaking through. Well needless to say, after that if one of us girls said we had to stop, we stopped :)

  • ashitaka
    ashitaka

    hahahahaha

    I learned from my mom NOT to ask questions of women after they've been to the doctors. Just......DONT ASK.

  • circe2
    circe2

    As much as I hate gyno visits, I have to say how happy I am that I don't have to have a prostate exam. "Bend over. Now cough"

    Of course, sooner or later, most women will submit to an exam to test for colon cancer, so I guess we get it in the end anyway.[8>] (I know, bad pun.)

    circe

  • JeffT
    JeffT

    Your boss is an idiot. Good for you for telling him off like that. I just went through a colonoscopy and a prostate biopsy so I can relate (a little)to the indignity of the process. My doctors were good about it and tried to make it not to bad.

    I learned a long time ago there are just some things a man should never ask a woman.

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