by joelbear 5 Replies latest social current
Went back to the doctor today. He has diagnosed me as being moderately manic depressive and is starting me on yet another drug therapy. I hate drugs.
I am in a quandry. Who is the real me; me on drugs that manage my mood swings or me off drugs going through phases of euphoria and depressio? Will I lose my creative muse by being on a drug.
I miss the manic me but don't miss the depressive me.
Joel
You are just JOEL. Don't try to differentiate who you are because you will confuse yourself as you are now. Your medicine is only taking care of a deficiency that you have, that's all. It helps you function emotionally. I take a daily pill for a thyroid problem. If I don't I will be depressed all day long. So I appreciate the help I get from that pill, but it doesn't change who I am.
You need to see your depression as any other sickness that humans face. Accept the fact that you are sick and keep looking for ways to either beat it or survive as normally as you can with it. Be positive and enjoy the fact that you are alive and that you can live happily. Think of others that are worst than you are, for example those that have malignant cancers, and thank Jehovah that at least you can control what you have.
Look at yourself in the mirror and repeat to yourself that you are a good person and that Jehovah loves you. Live according to his will and enjoy life to the fullest. Find comfort in his word and pray your heart to him and he WILL console you.
Love, a friend.
You're Joel.
Isn't it funny how chemicals can decide your personality and experiences can shape it? I had an uncle who used to have fits of rage until he started on drug treatment and has been doing much better with it.
I'd say the real you is whoever you want to be deep down -- but your physiology is interfering, as it always does with everybody. Good luck with your own treatment.
Joel, if you havent done so already I think you should join a support group for bipolar people. It can help a lot.
Drug therapy is necessary for manic depressives. You will still be you only without the mood swings. Whats so bad about that? You are you whether you are on drugs or off drugs. You will just be a lot happier once you can manage your swings better.
(((((((hugs)))))))) I know how you are feeling but you can do this and get where you want to be.
flower
Joel,
Sorry to be beating the same drum as usual, but please make sure that your depression is not a symptom of something else, something physical.
UK doctors are cutting back on on mood changing drugs and are often supplying depressed people mega - vitamin doses (not St Johns wort) of vitamin C in particular.
Englishman.
J= Joy to know
O= outstanding sense of humor
E= easy on the eyes
L= Lovable
I don't want someone in my life I can live with. I want someone in my life I can't live without.
