Dinner with DF'd friend tonight-thoughts.....

by ashitaka 4 Replies latest social relationships

  • ashitaka
    ashitaka

    It was pretty nice, haven't seen this person in a few years. We talked a bit about the bad stuff, but it was pretty healing for us to have an old friend to talk to honestly about all of our feeling about the JWs.

    I've just been reading the threads about Bill, Pandelos, etc, and I can't help but feel great about you guys.

    I met Neablis, and he was awesome. My own family has grown so close since they left and stopped fighting each other over the relgion. I talked to my father tonight, and I didn't recognize the person on the other line...while he's sad about the wasted time in the JWs, he's a different person...or maybe this was the real him all along.

    But, I'm not asking myself 'What did I miss as a JW?', but 'What am I going to do with the rest of my life now that I'm out?'. It's all you can do.

    I'm feeling kind of emotional because I think that I'm finally starting to let go of the bitterness toward humanity, and am starting to hit that good place....just becoming balanced.

    I've accepted where I've been, am satisfied with the current set of circumstances, and am working towards becoming a great man, both to my wife, but to everyone I come in contact with, and not for some dream where I lord it over people in a fantasy world, but to be able to give something meaningful to people right now, in an imperfect world. It's always a struggle in the real life, but being a good person MEANS SOMETHING outside of the org, and I'm going to take advantage of it and become a good man.

    I really don't know what I want to say. I think that I'm just beginning to feel the true separation from the borg, the emotional release from guilt and fear of them. I feel strong.

    I just thinks it's wonderful to have all of the windows on this Big House thrown open again, and all of the doors unlocked.

    ashi

  • California Sunshine
    California Sunshine
    I just thinks it's wonderful to have all of the windows on this Big House thrown open again, and all of the doors unlocked.

    and doesn't all that fresh air smell good!!!

    You ARE a good man Ashi! Congrats on helping your family out!

    Sunny

  • Introspection
    Introspection
    I've accepted where I've been, am satisfied with the current set of circumstances, and am working towards becoming a great man, both to my wife, but to everyone I come in contact with, and not for some dream where I lord it over people in a fantasy world, but to be able to give something meaningful to people right now, in an imperfect world. It's always a struggle in the real life, but being a good person MEANS SOMETHING outside of the org, and I'm going to take advantage of it and become a good man.

    Good for you Jim, that's the only real way to be a good person when you get right down to it. You're doing it for it's own sake, not because of what others think or any potential pay offs. The truly good person is good simply because they are a good person, not because they've heard that doing this or that makes you good. Those people are only trying to be good, it sounds like you're actually in touch with your innate kindness.

  • notperfectyet
    notperfectyet

    Ashitaka,

    I know exacly what you are feeling.

    Amazing posted once about his first feelings and I felt it too, and remember it. It was about getting on an airplane after (I think) he first met Ray Franz. He stated it was the first time he really looked at all the passangers as people, humans, instead of life forms he could convert or they were manure under his feet.
    < My take on it Amazing, sorry if I embellished.>

    That freedom that I now have, to experience life, meet and really see, and get to know other humans for who they are..is amazing.

    Welcome to the human race, we are no better than anyone else, and our choices are ours.

    And when one decides to become the best wife, husband, father, mother, brother, sister, friend, employee or employer they can, isn't that what life is suppose to be about?

  • ashitaka
    ashitaka

    Thanks for the posts, guys, I read them all.

    Not Perfect....I was thinking about Amazing's story, too.

    Intro, right. I was a kind of a bandaid for a lot of lonely people in the org, and I missed being a comfort to people. I have a lot to offer. I think I'm ready to be kind again.

    CS,.

    ashi

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