Interview with a faded attendee: Jamie Clark

by jamclark 1 Replies latest jw experiences

  • jamclark
    jamclark

    Tell us a little about yourself and your family.

    I was raised as a baptist in Oregon. After my encounter with JWs (in 1994) I have been with my Mother to charismatic churches but also studied with the Mormons (a few months) and a bit of exposure with the Seventh Day Adventists. I'm currently in the U.K. and working through immigration to stay and work here.

    Were you a born in or a convert?

    Like with many, it started with a knock on the door and an open mind. This was about 1994.

    Are your parents / family JWs?

    No. My Mom followed my brother into the Catholic faith.

    How many generations have been JWs?

    None.

    Did you hold any position in the WTS? (MS, Elder etc...)

    I was briefly an unbaptised publisher, but mostly was a regular attendee.

    Did you *really* believe in the bible, in spirits (angels, demons)?

    I believe in the entire inspired Scritpures, the 66 books canonized.

    Did you get baptised? When and why?

    No, but was on track toward baptism in October 2010.

    What was the initial trigger that made you start questioning things?

    First would be wondering why more meetings were not outside in His creation instead of man-made buildings. For many years I question the need to wear suits and ties to the meetings (as in Western-style business attire). Later was learning that Yahweh was a better name for the Father than Jehovah.

    Where did you find information? Internet sites? Books?

    I read Crisis of Conscience, and took notes into my Proclaimers book, but mostly from various internet sites.

    How difficult or painful was the process of leaving?

    It was a mutual fading, but I do miss the friendships.

    Was it a big dramatic exit or a careful quiet fade?

    Quiet fading, the best route.

    Did you convince anyone else to leave with you?

    No, we all have to listen to our conscience, but I do plan to talk to others about my understanding of His name and the need to observe the Turah..

    How were your family relations affected by your decision?

    My Mother was happy as she didn't like the JW organization, but left it to me to realize for myself.

    Were you or are you still being shunned by those who didn't leave?

    I am sure if I stepped into the Kingdom Hall it would be a cautious greeting.

    How long have you now been out?

    About 5 months.

    Was there anything you looked forward to doing when you left?

    Not really as I didn't do much for birthdays nor holidays anyway.

    What are you most proud of achieving since you left?

    A better understanding (more truthful) of the Scriptures and the sacred names. That and actually reading the Scriptures.

    Is there anything you miss about life in the congregation?

    The friendships and association. But most of that was a type of conditional "love" of being accepted under their terms of associating.

    Red pill or blue pill? Do you regret waking up to reality at all?

    Ahh The Matrix. Not at all.

    Did you become an atheist or transfer your faith elsewhere?

    More of a transfer from a "NT" Christianity to an "OT" Turah based faith, more closer to The Way, or becoming like the Natsarim that guard and teach the Turah.

    How do you now feel about religion in general?

    Religion is another name for those that assemble together to uplift fellow believers.

    Do you feel any guilt celebrating xmas or birthdays or doing any other JW "no-no"s?

    I don't celebrate those. At least that is one of the truthful aspects of the JWorg religion.

    Have you attended any face-to-face meetups of ex-JWs?

    No.

    Describe your circle of friends - mostly other ex-JWs or regular people?

    Mostly they are Facebook friends of a Messianic faith that believe in Yahuah (or similar name derived from YHWY).

    Do you tell people about your JW past?

    Yes, as it is important to what I believe today.

    Do you feel animosity or pity toward current JWs?

    A bit of pity but also hopefulness that they also awaken from JWorg doctrine to the purer language of the Scriptures.

    How do you respond to witnesses when they call at your door?

    Only had one so far and was not in a position to have a discussion. Sometime later I feel it will be a great exchange, starting first with His name and a bit about the J sound..

    Storm the barricades or tend to the wounded? (do you favor activism or support)

    More of a prayful support.

    What do you think is the most effective approach to reaching people still in?

    Planting seeds of truth, and a bit of doubt toward the Governing Body, so they may develop an open mind to hear Yahuah's voice.

    Do you think the WTS can or should be destroyed, will continue on as-is or grow / change?

    I pray that Yahuah will continue to use them as they translate and distribute bibles to reach others. Then that they may grow in knowledge but not in JWorg doctrine. It is a tough balance as it is so easy to get swept into being baptised into the JWorg.

    How has your life been impacted by your JW past?

    I've had a "quiet" conservative life so the JWorg beliefs were mostly compatible. The main thing issue was (and still is) overcoming personal loneliness.

    Are there things in your life you blame the WTS for?

    No.

    JW upbringing - a protection or a curse?

    I would say it would be a protection for many children.

    How do you fill your time now it's not filled with meetings and field service?

    A lot of self-study and reading - the Scriptures and other articles. I also have a website and am working on eCourses from World's Last Chance.

    Do you still have an interest in JW beliefs and doctrines?

    Yes as most of them are on track.

    How much of your time is still spent on JW related matters?

    Not too much. I like to spend some time on Sundays on this site and I keep up with JW stuff via John Cedar's site, www.jwsurvey.org.

    What do you think of the ex-JW community?

    I think there could be too much negativity and criticism of the JWorg, but likely that is from being subject to shunning and their doctrine.

    Do you see yourself still being associated with the ex-JW community in 5 or 10 years time?

    Possibly, but am not seeking such a community over those that seek to live by the Turah.

    Do you fear the future?

    A bit. Like with most I wait for Yahusha's return and I strive to show my belief and trust through my works to keep the salvation He earned for me. As in show I appreciate the free gift of salvation.

    What advice would you give to anyone starting the journey of leaving the WTS?

    Make the truth your own, as in fade but have a firmer foundation (more rock solid) than the JWorg doctrine one . . . . draw closer to the Turah of the inspired Scriptures as you leave the doctrine of the JWorg publications behind.

    What would you change in your life if you could go back and talk to yourself?

    Yahwey. I would have meditated on His true name and thus know more about how English has changed while embracing the power of the Hebrew language sooner.

    Do you have any regrets about life since you left?

    Not so much, just that so many years have passed reading JWorg books.

    Can we read your life-story anywhere? (links to online or books)

    My myspace page is way out of date - may edit it in (when I find it). I'm active on Facebook - http://facebook.com/jamclark.cocacola. And my website - https://sites.google.com/site/yahuahstruth/home

    Want to share your own story? Please use the Interview with an Apostate: Template and post it in the Personal Experiences & Reunions section with the title "Interview with an Apostate: [your name or alias]"

  • jwfacts
    jwfacts

    Thanks, it is interesting that the trigger for you was regarding the pronunciation of God's name. There are so many different triggers to get a person to first start thinking that things may not be right.

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