Tine
by Jon Preston 7 Replies latest jw friends
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Jon Preston
Well this past week has been a roller coaster of emotions. I have seen in person the cognitive dissonance my wife faces. So now its time to rebuild, break down what needs to be changed, and start anew. But first, where to begin?
I have two ideas i think...either i will Start printing topics off of JWfacts and doing study and research with my wife.
Or going over Steve Hassans techniques to recognize cults. My object isnt to shock and awe but to hopefully give my wife a smooth transition.
so i have some decisions to make. If it were you, what would you do? :-)
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Jon Preston
Ps sorry about the title of this thread...i accidentally hit enter too soon lol
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Island Man
I would go with Steve Hassan first and here's why:
At this early stage in the game, it is possible for your wife to have a change of mind and/or go back to the JWs if the elders or other JWs somehow manage to work some psychology on her. They can tell her that the apostate sites are bitter and apostates have lied or have taken things out of context, the org is not perfect but constantly being refined, etc and manage to convince to come back. It might not seem likely - and it may not be - but it's not entirely impossible. (All that might be needed is just some great emotional crisis like death of a loved one to make her emotionally vulnerable and cause her to fall prey to JW thinking for comfort and run right back to them.)
But Steve Hassan deals with cults in general. He's not an apostate so the typical JW reasoning on apostates don't apply. Steve Hassan will show your wife the cultic nature of JWs from an unbaised non-JW who has no personal axe to grind with the JW organization. If she still has any slight deep-seated apprehensions of reading ex-JW apstate information, those apprehensions would dissappear or at least be greatly reduced if she knows she's not reading apostate information. Also since JWs like to sell themselves as being so unique in a positive way, getting her to see that JWs have the same symptoms of other cults will destroy that JW propaganda by showing her that they manifest the same destructive behavior as other cults.
Once you get your wife to see that JWs are a cult, and once you get her to recognize the psychologically manipulative tactics that cults use, then no JW can convince her to come back because she would see their cult-personality shining through in their reasoning and speech with her.
After you have done Steve Hassan, then you can do JWfacts. Her knowledge of cult tactics would also form a good mental context for when she starts researching the teachings, hypocrisy, flip-flops, etc on JWfacts. So she would be able to read a Watchtower quote and say to her self: "aha . . . Oh my God! That's an example of behavior control!"
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Jon Preston
Yea thats what i was thinking island man, cheers. I know It helped me.
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jgnat
Don't forget to ask her what she thinks!
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ABibleStudent
Hi Jon Preston, DITTO what jgnat wrote. Didn't your wife already admonish you for not being honest with her sooner.
Tell her you love her very much and respect her beliefs. Ask her if she really wants to leave the WTBTS and to do more independent research about what she believes, such as using internet resources. If she asks for your advice show, her one of the following videos by Steve Hassen:
- Strategic Interactive Approach explained 2003 (1:23:23)
- The BITE Model (Behavior Information Thought Emotion) (5:03)
- NY Ethical Culture Society February 2013 (41:09)
- NY Ethical Culture Society 2010 (40:56)
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert
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wantingtruth
In case you believe in God and love him , He will lead you
How ?
simply, He said (regarding his Son, Jesus Christ ) :
"This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!" Matt.17:5.