As I’m cleaning out my house this week, I ran across my old note-taking notebook and an entry I had written while sitting at a Sunday meeting the first week of September, 2001. I’m posting this to share where my thoughts were then:
My doubts began in the late 80’s I came to the point like Jesus’ disciples, who/where else do you go to? After suppressing a lot of injustices in the congregation, i.e. treatment of people, the generation change and the blood issue, I’m thinking what did I want to hold onto? What was the reason for being loyal, and to what? I thought it was to Jehovah, but nooooo, it’s to an organization that told me how to be with God-how to express loyalty to God by “deeds” of an organization.
I always wondered what Ray Franz said in his book. I had been a housekeeper at Bethel, who took breaks with Norma Sanchez. I really wondered what had taken place at Bethel after we left. But I had listened to the rumors instead of asking for facts back then.
Ray’s books were very informative and helped to push me in the direction I am now taking, but I was already disengaged mentally from the organization, just “dutifully” obeying it. It is wonderful to know there are life, friends, thinking, and Christian qualities after the organization.
I am not afraid or will not recognize the wtbts as having any authority “to do” anything to me. I just would like to buffer my children against any ugliness that will arise from the jws.
My feelings at first after learning the truth about the tr00th: somewhat anger that the GB deceived jws with eschatology. Freedom from man’s burdens of meetings, service and guilt of not complying with all the rules. Sympathy for those who were sheep without a Shepard – or as wheat among the weeds. Guilty about teaching other people cult stuff. Now I’m wondering how to help reason with “friends”, the “wheat” for them to see the cult like activities among the jws.
It is really amazing to read the magazines now and see how filled with propaganda they are. I had always felt that at Bethel we were verbally bombarded with propaganda such as “Bethelites are the best in the world, cream of the crop, leaving at the best place.”
I can’t stand to sit through meetings and listen to nice scriptures with no follow through to point to Jesus as our redeemer, being free from guilt and sons of God. What a nice “package” those in the audience are getting.
How soon do we back out now? What type of labeling will we have that may stifle our ability to reach others?
Need to do list:
1. Read the bible with new eyes, what God is saying and not what the wtbts.
2. Display, cultivate Christian qualities-not just obedience to rules.
3. Look for “wheat” among the weeds the world over.
(My God, do you know how good it feels to be pleased with yourself that displaying Christian qualities in any situation is worth more than 40 years of “preaching”!!
To be able to sit back, be calm, assess situations and “do good” and realize that is a wonderful ministry in itself. Like Christ, nothing provoked him to words of hatred or acts of unkindness under any situation or circumstances.)