My non-JW sister & her observations and updates from visiting JW family

by Faithful Witness 7 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Faithful Witness

  My non-JW, never been interested in even tralking about it, always avoid the topic of JW issues, came for an overnight visit this weekend. The kids all had a blast.

  She updated me with a few observations:

  My mom is planning to retire before the end of May. She told my sister that she would have more time to spend with grandkids and help out when situations arise (my nephew broke his leg in a horrible sledding accident and is just now getting out of the wheelchair). Mom said, "Just think how much help I could have been!" My sister rolled her eyes. My mom so obviously favors the JW grandkids, it has caused some pretty hard feelings for the others. Sadly, none of them ever expect Grandma to follow through on her promises to them.

  My mom told me several months ago, that she wanted to quit her job and pioneer. I'm sure that is more likely the plan. :(

  My dad is apparently getting their house ready for sale. They want to move into a retirement condominium in their town. That is a very new development.

  My sister overheard dad and brother in law talking about the upcoming International Convention in Detroit. BIL was saying how he was going to "check out" the venue and their hotel. Also, someone in the KH is working parking, and has promised to somehow only allow certain people to park in a preferred place. (It was my JW sister's anniversary, so grandparents are watching my nephew for the weekend... again. That poor kid has been severely damaged by the JW's. My niece (12), was sent to a JW friend's house, against her will, for the weekend...)

  Anyway, none of these gossip items sounded promising to me. I'm hoping my mom is still planning to visit this next weekend. I sent an email and asked her if she is still coming, and mentioned that I'm now being treated as a Bible Student by my elderette.

  I wonder if she will tell my sister, or if the fact that I am talking to JWs again, will suddenly earn me more favor. I love conditional love! (There is nothing like knowing that your mom, once your best friend and confidante, feels that it is more important to go out in much neglected field service activities, than to spend time with her grandkids).
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  skeeter1

  I don't know how to respond, other than to ask why do you need your parent's approval so much? They sound like typical JW freaks.
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  Listener

  It never ceases to amaze me how many JWs can spend hours and hours out in the field service, most of the time getting nowhere, rather than focusing on their own family.
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  DATA-DOG

  "It never ceases to amaze me how many JWs can spend hours and hours out in the field service, most of the time getting nowhere, rather than focusing on their own family."

  Yep. My wife was complaining about our lack of sex. [ LOL!! that's another story entirely, although I admit that since learning TTATT, I have been distant. I'm damned if I do...ect.] Anyway, we had the special ASS day, and then she had the next day off. That never happens. Instead of putting forth any effort in the bedroom, she goes in field circus most of the day!! WTH?!?!? Sadly many JW families are in terrible shape. Hey! At least Warwick is being built...right??

  DD
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  ABibleStudent

  Hi Faithful Witness, Your news about your parents does not sound good. It does sound like your mother's cult persona is getting stronger.

  What can you do to empower your mother's authentic persona? Is her authentic personal more emotional or logical? If she is going to retire soon, does she and your father have enough money to live the way they want to? I believe that there are a few articles on the internet that say most people run out of money before they die. Help your mother's authentic persona to grow stronger by helping her to remember what she use to think of before she was indoctrinated into the WTBTS.

  It might be a good segue into helping your mother's authentic persona to question how close is close. If your mother uses the end is so soon thought-stopping platitude, just ask her simple questions about explaining the new WTBTS doctrines to you, why did/were the doctrines changed, and how many times have the doctrines been changed. Just appear perplexed by the WTBTS's doctrines and try to encourage your mother's authentic persona to do more (and independent) research. Didn't Jesus Christ warn his followers about false prophets in Mt 7:15-20?

  Peace be with you and eveyrone, who you love,

  Robert
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  Faithful Witness

  I got a text from her today, telling me she would be postponing her visit again. I'm not sure when she will come and visit, but it will be at least 2 weeks more.

  skeeter: It's not really that I want approval from my parents, although it would be nice if my kids got a chance to have a relationship with their grandparents. My parents are new JW converts, and although my dad has pretty much turned into a zombie, my mother has made some definite statements of remorse, specifically when speaking about her baptism. Every time she visits me, she has at least one open comment that is clearly full of doubt and fear.

  My house is a safe place for my mom, and she knows I will not tell on her if she has doubts about the instructions being administered by this bizarre cult. One of her statements, when she first heard my sister (and I) were studying with the JW's (several years ago), was how they "divide families." Now, she is a party to that very statistic. My sister has stopped speaking to me, simply because I decided not to join. (I was never a JW, but I know too much). This action by my sister is very troublesome to my mother.

  I have compassion and concern for all JW people who are trapped. My mother is among them, but both geographic distance and now religious differences are pulling her farther and farther away from me. I'm not taking it personally. This battle is not about me, but I do feel that I am being put in this position for a reason. I will not give up on my mother, even if she does end up dying as a JW. Until that day, she will know that I am here for her with unconditional love.

  (as of right now, she is still a "JW freak" in the making... her "new personality" is in a constant battle with her real one, especially around me)

  Robert: Thanks for the thoughts. I think I will ask her about that when she comes next time. I now have stories to share, about my BS elderette. I can ask my mom a few questions about the end times and the definition of a generation. Typically, I keep my JW questions pretty light. I don't want to scare her away. I frustrate easily, when I see her in her cult persona. It has been so long now, since she has been around us in your natural state, that it sometimes feels like we don't really know each other.

  Unlike my sister and my father, my mother and I do have a 40+ year history of what I would call a very close relationship. It has only been the last few years, that she has been drifting away. She has not mentioned anything about them selling the house, but I can definitely ask her more details about the reasoning behind that decision. Hopefully, I will talk to her soon, even if she isn't coming over this week as planned.
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  Faithful Witness

  Listener: The last 2 times she visited us, she talked about how it had been "SO LONG!" since she had been out in service. I reminded her to count her time at our house, and to bring a few magazines next time.

  DD: JW families really ARE a wreck. Ever since they presented us with that little book, "Secrets of Family Happiness," I have noticed that more and more... It does not look like a loving group to me!

  They all just sit around patting each other on the back, for being chosen by Jehovah to work harder. The JWs I meet, really do come across as much more "holier than thou," than even my most conservative, evangelical Christian friends.
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  Crazyguy

  Just a bunch of arrogant bastards getting their ears tickled about how wonderful they are as Jah's friends.