I could really use some advice.

by BackSlider 6 Replies latest jw friends

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  BackSlider

  Ok, so my mom is finally out of the Organization!!! Which is awesome! She has been a witness for over 60 years, but for the last 15 years or so she's been one of those that listens in on the phone and had depression issues and couldn't make it out in service much, you know the type. However, we have an entire family of witnesses and that includes all her Grand Children. The entire family has decided to cut her off from seeing any of them or talking to them and my mom is now emotionally broken beyond words.

  So my question is,

  Do any of you have any suggestions that would help her talk with the family about her seeing the kids?

  She has always been a huge part of their lives, and the little kids have text at times saying they miss her and hope she's not an apostate.

  Thanks for your help

  Back Slider
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  LisaRose

  Is your mom disfellowshipped? A lot depends in the reason they are shunning her.
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  Heaven

  Tell the kids that no, your Mom is not an apostate. She is just getting older and unable to do what she once was able to do. Also tell them that she really loves getting their text messages and ask them if they can do that more often.
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  KateWild

  The entire family has decided to cut her off from seeing any of them or talking to them and my mom is now emotionally broken beyond words.- Back Slider

  This is tragic. I am so angry, this has happened to your mum. Grown up children should never treat their mothers like this. You must have a dominant brother or sister thats the driving force to all of this. There is so much propaganda about apostates someone must have put it in their heads, unless of course your mum has been discussing doctrine with the family.

  WT breaks families up. They are a horrible cult, it's really difficult to get through to active die hard JWs, they think they are protecting the grandkids and doing what is best for them. The best thing you can do is spend as much time as you can with her. Also you can try and find out who the ring leader is, and then appeal to the others better nature, your brothers and sisters must have some redeeming qualities you can focus on.

  Such a shame, I feel for your mum.

  Kate xx
• 

  quellycatface

  That poor lady. Hugs to her.

  Kate has given great advice. She knows all about broken families.

  I hope you get this sorted out.
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  BackSlider

  Ok, so for a little more background on my mom.

  No, she has never been disfellowshipped.

  KateWild- You really know your stuff because it is almost exactly that situation with the family. My youngest sister has recently become a witness after spending most of her life not being one, she's extremely zealous and very judgemental. Problem is, while she was studying she would ask me questions on why I no longer go, and it looked at times that she was not really gonna follow through and get baptized. Unfortunately she went ahead and dove in head first. So then, this past summer of WatchTower articles and assembly parts came out on how to treat those that have turned away from Jehovah and she placed the Apostate label on me and went ahead and told anyone and everyone that knew me. She then told my mom she should no longer visit me because of this, and when my mom continued, my sister concluded that my mom had made her decision. My sister proceeded to rally the family and explain how the only way to save my mom would be to cut her off and anyone not cutting her off is siding with satan rather than God. Being that she is newly baptized the family doesn't want to stumble her and her new husband, and so my brothers who are elders made phone calls to all the kids and grand kids and told them how loving it would be to show how faithful they are even in this very sad and hard situation.

  And still, neither of us are disfellowshipped, we don't go around trying to get people to leave the organization, we just don't go anymore.
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  KateWild

  Back Slider,

  Wow this is a pickle. I hate WT. No one in your family is being spiteful or mean on purpose. Your little sister has been manipulated, and likely your brothers who are elders would have just carried on treating your mum normally if it wasn't for her zeal. Sadly they all think what they are doing is loving. It's so screwed up.

  You really need to appeal to one of your brothers that's an elder. Appeal to the one that has the most responsibilities and is overworked, he may be getting to the point where he has had enough of slaving for WT, but too invested to do anything. Show him concern for his struggle and position. You'll have to contact him in writing first, but you can use the elder card, and say it's okay to speak to you because he is an elder and you're not even Df'd. You can devise a plan with him to help your little sister to develop "appropriate balance" and convince her that niether of you are apostates.

  Realistically speaking, JWs don't have balance, they are either considered spiritually strong or weak. You need to contact one of your brothers to sort this out, your family seems like they are genuine, loving and caring. Just misguided.

  Keep us informed.

  Kate xx