Mom

by JWdaughter 5 Replies latest jw friends

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  JWdaughter

  So, I'm visiting mom and had a great drive with her today in the mountains. It was gorgeous and a good day overall.

  I asked her a little advice about a issue I am having in my marriage/business about going beyond my comfort zone. I am trying to figure out what is reasonable for my husband toask of me socially when it is totally out of my comfort zone and I discussed that I didn't want to be close minded and stubborn just because I am squirming a bit at what he is asking (nothing actually wrong, bad or anything like that, just not natural for me). I told my mom I knew she went out in service when she really doesn't like it (its no secret and not insulting or anything to say this) and she told me she did it because she thinks it is importannt and pleases Jah. I wasn't even tryingn to pick on her religion, but I asked her why? She only ever brought a JW in by 'friendship' witnessing. Our next door neighbor thought my mom was a goodwoman and she liked her and respected her. That iswhy she became a JW ( neighbor's husband, son, and son in law are elders, neighbor and daughter are pioneers) In any case, my mom is the only person I know that joined as a result of the door to door work and that is because her mom was happy to accept the free babysittting from the JW who took my mom to the meetings when she was a baby and my grandma was having another 11 months after my mom was born). I pointed out that we ddin't know any JWs who were met in FS, so it seems a very unproductive thing. She lookedthoughtful,not mad.

  Anyway, I was thinking that maybe she will cut off th FS and just go around being nice to her neighbors like she did when our neighbor joined her (my mom was inactive and unbaptised but a true believer back then) She did more for her religion by being a friend than she ever did from torturing herself out inFS. I wish she would stop it. It is a huge stress to her personality.
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  villagegirl

  She was a true believer back then? But not now?

  I am facinated by what you said about your husband asking you

  to do something socially that makes you uncomfortable, I can't think

  what that might be.
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  Wild_Thing

  Last year, my mom confided in me that she hates going out in field service and always have. She said that when she was a kid and her and her friend had their turn to go knock on a door, they would pretend knock and come back and tell them no one was home. What's funny is I use to do the same thing! Then, this past September, she signed up to regular pioneer! I don't get it! Why do they allow themselves to be tortured!

  I wonder if she still does the fake knock! :)
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  villagegirl

  JWDaughter - You posted elsewhere you are a Muslim ?

  With the headcovering and veil and now he wants you to wear

  the full Burka and walk six paces behind him ?

  Or when at home and he has men over,

  stay in the kitchen except when serving food?

  You were trained by the Watchtower to see yourself as a

  second class person, and be in "subjection" so the move

  to being treated like a worthless dog as the Quran

  teaches you are, is no big shift for you mentally.

  Beware of religions with leaders who tell you they are the

  "sole channel of communication between man and God"

  and beware of religions who require you to wear a costume

  to identify your servitude and inequality.
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  JWdaughter

  Villiagegirl, my mom was inactive/unbaptised BUT still a true believer. She is still a true believer.

  My husband has a habit of just shoving a phone at me to say hi to his old friends and business acquaintances or expecting me to write friendly, chatting notes to absolute strangers (business or personal) The phone calls freak me out. Idon't even like talking on the phone to people I love! And in his case,sometimes they speak barely or NO english and just want to say hi or hear my voice. Its weird. My husband thinks its friendly. Its just AWKWARD to me.

  Sorry it isn't something more salacious or scandalous:)
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  JWdaughter

  Villiagegirl. I am writing this from WA state,half a nation away from my husband, wearing nothing but jeans, a top and my moms cardigan. (I'm freezing).

  I cover my hair to pray. And if I am in Saudi or Egypt. I didn't in Pakistan.

  You have some kind of ugly ideas about my faith that I can't disabuse you of in a post, but my husband walks next to me and holds my hand. I drive and travel without him. He is the soul of kindness and if he saw you needed anything,he would do a u-turn to go back and give it to you.

  Yes, some men would insist on me covering. That is a cultural thing often,and though some feel a woman should make the decision, it is HERS to make religiously. It is like any kind of faith based action. Whenn it is forcced or compelled, it means less than nothing.

  There is nothing in the Quran about treating me like a worthless dog. My husband treats me like a queen-with love and respect. I know that not allmen do-of any faith.

  I would like to point out that for allthe abuses you read about in other countries, you are reading the stuff that shocks those people too. In THEIR countries, they know all about (christian) priests /ministers abusing, mothers killing their babies, husbands killing pregnant wives/girlfriends, 13 year old girls having babies.They see shows about skanky teenagers hitting their parents, using drugs, committing all kinds of crimes-stabbing a bunch of people at school or shooting them-and they think that is what our culture is about-just like YOU have your mis/pre conceptions about their culture.

  Please don't be so provincial. But thanks for your concern. I have spent the last 2 weeks with my family in WA and am enjoying it immensely. My mom has two puppies (ok, little dogs) that are darling and my son's daughter is 18 mos old now and is my heart. My kids are well and healthy and working hard. My ex is even being halfway decent (for one of those redneck types-if you want to generalize). My husband and I will hopefully come back to visit in Aug or Sept together. I don't like being apart so long,but he has been getting in lots of tennis and eating more Pakistani food soI am sure he isn't suffering too much.