One of them smiled at me!! Update on shunning.

quellycatface

Yep, it's true!! It must have near damn killed her. It was a kind of smile that never reached the eyes and you could see the strain in it. BUT she did it.

I wonder how long she will do it before her bible-trained conscience will tell her to quit?

AndDontCallMeShirley

I wonder how long she will do it before her bible-trained conscience will tell her to quit?

.

She's probably already asked Jehovah™ to forgive her.

Ding

She'll have to auxiliary pioneer in order to make up for it...

Once, when I was DF'd, I ran into a JW from my former congregation at a local store. We literally almost ran into each other. I said, "Hello;" they responded with an awkward and sheepish, "Hi." That was pretty much the end of the encounter.

Much later, when I was reinstated, this person confided to me that this particular incident bothered their conscience because we exchanged a greeting. It was really pretty much a knee-jerk reaction on both of our parts at the time. But mind you, this was a person that I'd known for years. They'd been to my house for meals and I'd been to theirs. This was someone that I once counted as a friend. I now know the difference between a real friend and a conditional "friend." But I digress ...

As I was typing this, I began to wonder if this little experience could possibly be used to identify me, then I realized it couldn't because it happens to DF'd people all the time all over the world! Rather than being a unique experience, it's sadly very common.

Shunners gotta' shun, but then they feel guilty if they even look at a DF'd person with the slightest, smallest twinge of compassion and humanity. Those things are being crushed out of them by the self-serving policies of the WT cult.

The fact is, institutionalized shunning injures the people that do the shunning almost as much as it hurts the shunned. In some cases, it may even be worse for them.

Daniel1555

A lot of JW don't agree with the shunning policy. But they don't have the courage to critizise it or ignore it.

So the least they do is look at you and smile.

Oubliette

So the least they do is look at you and smile.

Well that just makes it all better now, doesn't it!

Vidiot

Daniel1555 - "A lot of JWs don't agree with the shunning policy. But they don't have the courage to critizise it or ignore it."

When I was a dutiful JW, I never gave much thought to whether or not I "agreed" with it; it was just something that was simply there.

That being said, (when I look back) I only really ever payed lip service to the WTS's shunning edicts. Never even worried too much if I'd get in trouble for it either, now that I think about it. I guess I always figured that treating the DFed like they weren't even there was simply too inhumane, and would probably do a lot less to bring 'em back into the fold than - at the very least - acknowledging their existence and basic humanity.

These days, I suspect the DFing arrangement is as hard-line as it is precisely because the WTS doesn't really want wayward ones to come back. Being DFed can have the psychological effect of freeing them up look at the WTS (warts and all) from a more critical POV, and hearing what "opposers" might have to say.

Not to mention that authoritarian personalities (and they are the dominant individuals in the WT heirarchy more and more these days) seem to genuinely like ostracizing outsiders.

Quendi

I appreciated what our friend oubliette shared about shunning because it made me realize that shunning is no different than being bigoted and racist. The person with that attitude slowly denatures his own humanity as he purges such traits as love, kindness, sympathy, pity and compassion from his soul.

Some years ago, I visited the Civil Rights Institute in Birmingham, Alabama with my siblings. Our parents and grandparents lived there during the Jim Crow era and suffered all the indignities and injustices racist whites imposed upon them. The Institute proveds audio recordings with some of its exhibits which give the thoughts and emotions of these racists and their justification for their actions. Listening to them, I realized that they were harming themselves as much as they were my parents' and grandparents' generations. The fact that many in this country still feel that way about other ethnic groups shows just how pernicious racism is and how difficult it is to uproot it.

I think it is the same with any kind of instituionalized hatred, for that is what shunning really is. I'm ashamed to say I shunned the disfellowshipped with one notable exception during my years as a Witness. No, I did not actively hate those I shunned, but the organization did, and its hatred was funneled to the disfellowshipped by all of us who supported the shunning arrangement regardless of our personal feelings. We were pawns in this hateful game, no matter how reluctant we may have been. I'm glad now those days are behind me but it is equally clear to me that this will remain a feature of Witness religion for as long as it exists. More's the pity.

Quendi

Crazyguy

I had a friend a young woman only about 18, got date raped then pregnant. About 4 months in to it she finally aproached the elders of her hall the one she grew up in. Im sure she waited out of shame and only came forward when it became obvious. They DF'd her..... I have never let someone being df'd stop me from talking to them..

quellycatface

CrazyGuy, that's a tragic story. To treat a young woman that way. Not Christian at all.

One of them smiled at me!! Update on shunning.

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