I am still so very grateful that sheez - 9 years ago I woke up. I woke up to TTATT. That I got free, that I am a normal, well adjusted human that has her ups and downs like everyone else. I am so grateful because leaving has made me a better person and there is nothing in this world that would even tempt me to go back.
It's almost as if I was reborn 9 years ago. I have forgotten those people - sure I remember a face or two, a couple of names but it's not in my conscious relm anymore. They have slipped into the foggy past.
I have been able to be more me - whether it's a good Lou / bad Lou day - it's okay - it's me. I can laugh at dirty jokes if I want, I can over drink if I want, I can smoke weed if I want, sleep with whomever I want. Have tattoos, celebrate birthday and christmas. Believe in evolution, think god is wacked man made control mechanism, read up on aliens and watch scarey movies.
Yeah that is life.
All of us that have left have in one way or another been reborn. You got to love that - you got to hold on to that and celebrate it as often as you can. Don't I know it.
Here's to the next 9 years.
Finding my feet in a new and better paying job, I'm blogging for a newspaper: www.dnfever.co.za (look for Loubelle under the communcity section - blogs) I'm getting my poetry organised into a book and I'm writing up a business plan to open my own school newspaper.