…Nathan the Prophet has just confronted David with his adultery with Bath-Sheba, and the subsequent cover-up, which resulted in the death of Uriah, her husband….
“…whereas you yourself acted in secret, I, for my part, shall do this thing in front of all Israel and in the front of the sun.’ “
David reflected for a moment, then said, “I don’t think so, Nate ol’ boy. Y’see, I’m the freaking king, and rank has its privileges. I can take any tomato from this garden, and you can’t do f***-all about it, if you want to stay healthy, that is.”
So Nathan was chased from the nation. However, when that wouldn’t shut him up, David’s advisors devised a campaign that discredited Nathan as a prophet. “He speaks out against the anointed of God! He’s trying to undermine trust in our form of government. So David isn’t perfect! Was Saul? How about Samuel? He’s just a human being. The important thing is that we have a war against those that would destroy us; we’re surrounded by enemies, and this kind of internal turmoil only hinders us!”
Still, there were some that listened to Nathan’s accusations, and that was not good! So David sent a small detail of men to “correct matters” and Nathan was never heard from again. A small box was presented to David a few weeks later; when he opened it, he was overheard to mutter, “Hah! Mine WAS bigger!”
Of course, that didn’t finish the matter. There were many “in the know” at the palace, and it got to be pretty common knowledge. Some subjects of the kingdom got fed up with the whole mess. “This p****-hound is supposed to be the start of some golden age? For this, I can’t have business dealings with Phoenicians? Oy, the meshuggah!” So, they tried to pack up there families (those that could be convinced to come) and leave for the boundaries of Israel.
However, David’s advisers pointed out that it this kind of trend continued, that the contributions to the “Temple Building” slush fund would peter out, and then Mrs. King David (Bath-Sheba) would drop him like the back country minor league despot he was. So his armies went out, and “neutralized” the trouble-making group. The onlookers back in Jerusalem saw this and trembled. To help strengthen the people in this time of need, a Three Week festival was announced, where the Law was to be read, including the re-presentation of the “nine commandments.”
“It’s GOOD to be the King!” exclaimed David!