What RESURRECTED people will be told.

by hamsterbait 4 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  hamsterbait

  A wife and mother who died of cancer, with her family round the bed, is lovingly raised from death into the "Noo System"

  "Where is my husband?"

  "jehovah killed him because he didnt believe the JW.ORG teachings"

  "Where are my sons?"

  "jehovah killed them, because their father was evil and told them that JW.ORG teachings are contradictory."

  "Where is my daughter?"

  "jehovah killed her too - now just SHUT UP FIND YOURSELF A PANDA TO PET AND BE HAPPY, OR YOU'LL BE KILLED TOO!"

  HB (of the "all warm and furry" class)
• 

  Apognophos

  The former things will not be called to mind, remember?

  More like:

  "Where is my... um..."

  "Hmm?"

  "...Never mind, I thought I was married for a minute there."

  "Nope, afraid not. You had no husband or kids."

  "I didn't mention kids."

  "Neither did I. You didn't hear 'kids'."

  "Oh. Okay, right then. Well, please direct me to the pandas!"
• 

  jam

  Or, where is my husband Frank? He dead but your first husband is here..

  What, he use to beat me before he died. I was happy to see

  that nut kick the bucket and now we are together again, please

  put me back to sleep...
• 

  jam

  The real story; Welcome back..

  Resurrected one: Great where do I start?

  Welcome commmitee; any where you like.

  RO: how about beach front property?

  C: well that have been taken.

  RO: all of it?

  C: yes the Elders and they claimed miles of it.

  RO; what about Island.

  C: GB

  RO: whats left?

  C: remember, those who died last will come back first so a lot

  of folks came before you.

  RO. so where can I put up stakes.

  C; the deserts are still available.

  RO: sh---T, OK how do I get there.

  C: you walk or mule.

  RO: do you know how long that will take me.

  C: lets see, 500 miles about 40 years.

  RO: This is BS..
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  LoisLane looking for Superman

  lolololololol lol