How The Bible Was Invented 13. Jehu risees (Hilarious Propaganda) (Long Chapter)

by HowTheBibleWasCreated 9 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • HowTheBibleWasCreated
    HowTheBibleWasCreated

    One of the most profound pieces of political porpaganda is located in 2 Kings 9,10,11,12.

    It is quite humerous and also tragic and shocking. It is also mostly FICTION!

    8:29King Joram
    returned to be healed in Jezreel of the wounds
    which the Syrians had given him at Ramah,
    when he fought against Hazael king of Syria.
    Ahaziah the son of Jehoram king of Judah went
    down to see Joram the son of Ahab in Jezreel,
    because he was sick.

    (I think this is a stupid comment. The obvious reason the King of Judah was there was with armies to defend his ally and uncle.)

    9:1Elisha the prophet called one of the sons
    of the prophets, and said to him, “Put your
    belt on your waist, take this vial of oil in your
    hand, and go to Ramoth Gilead. 9:2When you
    come there, find Jehu the son of Jehoshaphat
    the son of Nimshi, and go in, and make him
    arise up from among his brothers, and carry
    him to an inner room. 9:3Then take the vial
    of oil, and pour it on his head, and say, ‘Thus
    says Yahweh, “I have anointed you king over
    Israel.”’ Then open the door, flee, and don’t
    wait.”

    (Here Jehu is introduced with an almost Aramaic name.)

    9:4So the young man, even the young man
    the prophet, went to Ramoth Gilead. 9:5When
    he came, behold, the captains of the army were
    sitting. Then he said, “I have a message for you,
    captain.”
    Jehu said, “To which of us all?”
    He said, “To you, O captain.” 9:6He arose,
    and went into the house.

    (House? <<<??? This has puzzled many bible commentators and I think the answer lies in the fact that Rammoth-Gilead had previously been conquered by the Syrians. Jehu likely a Syrian general owned a house. The Dtr. Historian later slipped this phrase out of old Israelite annuls)

    Then he poured the
    oil on his head, and said to him, “Thus says
    Yahweh, the God of Israel, ‘I have anointed
    you king over the people of Yahweh, even over
    Israel. 9:7You shall strike the house of Ahab
    your master, that I may avenge the blood of
    my servants the prophets, and the blood of all
    the servants of Yahweh, at the hand of Jezebel.
    9:8For the whole house of Ahab shall perish. I
    will cut off from Ahab everyone who pisses
    against a wall, both him who is shut up and
    him who is left at large in Israel. 9:9I will make
    the house of Ahab like the house of Jeroboam
    the son of Nebat, and like the house of Baasha
    the son of Ahijah. 9:10The dogs will eat Jezebel
    on the plot of ground of Jezreel, and there shall
    be none to bury her.’” He opened the door, and
    fled.

    (This is both humerous and ludicrous)

    9:11Then Jehu came forth to the servants of
    his lord: and one said to him, “Is all well? Why
    did this mad fellow come to you?”
    He said to them, “You know the man and
    what his talk was.” 9:12They said, “That is a lie.
    Tell us now.”
    He said, “He said to me, ‘Thus says Yahweh,
    I have anointed you king over Israel.’”
    9:13Then they hurried, and took every man
    his garment, and put it under him on the top of
    the stairs, and blew the trumpet, saying, “Jehu
    is king.”

    (At thiis point any critical reader is rolling on the floor laughing)

    9:14So Jehu the son of Jehoshaphat the son of
    Nimshi conspired against Joram. (Now Joram
    was keeping Ramoth Gilead, he and all Israel,
    because of Hazael king of Syria; 9:15but king
    Joram was returned to be healed in Jezreel of
    the wounds which the Syrians had given him,
    when he fought with Hazael king of Syria.)

    (Likely the only true statement in this story)

    Jehu said, “If this is your thinking, then let no
    one escape and go out of the city, to go to tell
    it in Jezreel.” 9:16So Jehu rode in a chariot, and
    went to Jezreel; for Joram lay there. Ahaziah
    king of Judah had come down to see Joram.

    9:17Now the watchman was standing on the
    tower in Jezreel, and he spied the company of
    Jehu as he came, and said, “I see a company.”
    Joram said, “Take a horseman, and send to
    meet them, and let him say, ‘Is it peace?’”
    9:18So there went one on horseback to meet
    him, and said, “Thus says the king, ‘Is it
    peace?’”
    Jehu said, “What do you have to do with
    peace? Fall in behind me!”

    (Is this true? Did Israelite soldiers defect to Syria? Probably)

    The watchman said, “The messenger came
    to them, but he isn’t coming back.”
    9:19Then he sent out a second on horseback,
    who came to them, and said, “Thus says the
    king, ‘Is it peace?’”
    Jehu answered, “What do you have to do
    with peace? Fall in behind me!”

    9:20The watchman said, “He came to them,
    and isn’t coming back. The driving is like the
    driving of Jehu the son of Nimshi; for he drives
    furiously.”

    (Another rolling on the floor comment.)

    9:21Joram said, “Get ready!”
    They got his chariot ready. Joram king of
    Israel and Ahaziah king of Judah went out,
    each in his chariot, and they went out to meet
    Jehu, and found him in the portion of Naboth
    the Jezreelite. 9:22It happened, when Joram saw
    Jehu, that he said, “Is it peace, Jehu?”
    He answered, “What peace, so long as the
    prostitution of your mother Jezebel and her
    witchcraft abound?”

    (This is a Deatronomist propaganda. Ignore it)

    9:23Joram turned his hands, and fled, and
    said to Ahaziah, “There is treason, Ahaziah!”

    (The Hebrew expression 'turned with his hands' is very differcult to understand. Was it a signal to attack, flee, surrender?)

    9:24Jehu drew his bow with his full strength,
    and struck Joram between his arms; and the
    arrow went out at his heart, and he sunk down
    in his chariot. 9:25Then Jehu said to Bidkar his
    captain, “Pick him up, and throw him in the
    plot of the field of Naboth the Jezreelite; ...

    (At this point we many skip ahead as the next few verses are propaganda...)

    9:27But when Ahaziah the king of Judah
    saw this, he fled by the way of the garden
    house. Jehu followed after him, and said,
    “Strike him also in the chariot!” They struck
    him at the ascent of Gur, which is by Ibleam.
    He fled to Megiddo, and died there. 9:28His
    servants carried him in a chariot to Jerusalem,
    and buried him in his tomb with his fathers
    in the city of David. 9:29In the eleventh year
    of Joram the son of Ahab began Ahaziah to
    reign over Judah.

    (This is interesting but we will find this is NOT quite true.Jehu will later slaughter Ahaziah's brothers and mysteriously they die again in the next chapter lol)

    9:30When Jehu had come to
    Jezreel, Jezebel heard of it; and she painted her
    eyes, and attired her head, and looked out at
    the window. 9:31As Jehu entered in at the gate,
    she said, “Do you come in peace, Zimri, you
    murderer of your master?”

    (Do you believe this? If you do you are a fool. It is humerous though)

    9:32He lifted up his face to the window, and
    said, “Who is on my side?Who?”
    Two or three eunuchs looked out at him.
    9:33He said, “Throw her down!”
    So they threw her down; and some of her
    blood was sprinkled on the wall, and on the
    horses. Then he trampled her under foot.

    ......................................................

    10:1Now Ahab had seventy sons in Samaria.
    Jehu wrote letters, and sent to Samaria, to
    the rulers of Jezreel, even the elders, and
    to those who brought up the sons of Ahab,
    saying, 10:2“Now as soon as this letter comes
    to you, since your master’s sons are with you,
    and there are with you chariots and horses, a
    fortified city also, and armor. 10:3Select the best
    and fittest of your master’s sons, set him on
    his father’s throne, and fight for your master’s
    house.”
    10:4But they were exceedingly afraid, and
    said, “Behold, the two kings didn’t stand before
    him! How then shall we stand?” 10:5He who
    was over the household, and he who was over
    the city, the elders also, and those who raised
    the children, sent to Jehu, saying, “We are your
    servants, and will do all that you ask us. We
    will not make any man king. You do that which
    is good in your eyes.”

    10:6Then he wrote a letter the second time
    to them, saying, “If you are on my side, and
    if you will listen to my voice, take the heads of
    the men your master’s sons, and come to me to
    Jezreel by tomorrow this time.”
    Now the king’s sons, being seventy persons,
    were with the great men of the city, who
    brought them up. 10:7It happened, when the
    letter came to them, that they took the king’s
    sons, and killed them, even seventy persons,
    and put their heads in baskets, and sent them
    to him to Jezreel. 10:8A messenger came, and
    told him, “They have brought the heads of the
    king’s sons.”

    (This is likely factual however it is VERY VERY Problamic! Judges chapter 9 has a story almost identical.)

    He said, “Lay them in two heaps at the
    entrance of the gate until the morning.” 10:9It
    happened in the morning, that he went out,
    and stood, and said to all the people, “You
    are righteous. Behold, I conspired against my
    master, and killed him; but who struck all
    these? .......

    10:11So Jehu struck all that remained of the
    house of Ahab in Jezreel,with all his greatmen,
    his familiar friends, and his priests, until he left
    him none remaining.
    10:12He arose and departed, and went to
    Samaria. As he was at the shearing house of
    the shepherds on the way, 10:13Jehu met with
    the brothers ofAhaziah king of Judah, and said,
    “Who are you?”
    They answered, “We are the brothers of
    Ahaziah. We are going down to greet the
    children of the king and the children of the
    queen.”
    10:14He said, “Take them alive!”
    They took them alive, and killed them at the
    pit of the shearing house, even forty-two men.
    He didn’t leave any of them. 1

    0:15When he had
    departed from there, he met Jehonadab the son
    of Rechab coming to meet him. He greeted him,
    and said to him, “Is your heart right, as my heart is with your heart?”
    Jehonadab answered, “It is.”
    “If it is, give me your hand.” He gave him
    his hand; and he took him up to him into the
    chariot. 10:16He said, “Come with me, and see
    my zeal for Yahweh.” So they made him ride in
    his chariot. 10:17When he came to Samaria, he
    struck all who remained to Ahab in Samaria,
    until he had destroyed him,....

    (This is NOT HISTORICAL! Jehonadab is the father of a people called the Recabites. These were friends of Jeremiah a Deuteronomist. This is placing the writers of this very text into a heroic epic. The rest of this chapter is about Jehu getting rid of Baal worshippers. Likely untrue)
    10:35Jehu sleptwith his fathers; and they buried
    him in Samaria. Jehoahaz his son reigned in
    his place. 10:36The time that Jehu reigned over
    Israel in Samaria was twenty-eight years.

    But Wait!

    What about the 'House of the Beloved'? Atalaih?
    You want humor? Read this:
    11:1Now when Athaliah the mother of
    Ahaziah saw that her son was dead, she arose
    and destroyed all the seed royal. 11:2But
    Jehosheba, the daughter of king Joram, sister
    of Ahaziah, took Joash the son of Ahaziah, and
    stole him away from among the king’s sons
    who were slain, even him and his nurse, and
    put them in the bedroom; and they hid him
    from Athaliah, so that he was not slain; 11:3He
    was with her hidden in the house of Yahweh
    six years. Athaliah reigned over the land. 11:4In
    the seventh year Jehoiada sent and fetched the
    captains over hundreds of the Carites and of
    the guard, and brought them to him into the
    house of Yahweh; and hemade a covenant with
    them, and took an oath of them in the house
    of Yahweh, and showed them the king’s son.

    (Who killed the princes of Judah? It wasn;t Athaliah! LOL... This is pure propaganda.
    11:20So all the
    people of the land rejoiced, and the city was
    quiet. Athaliah they had slainwith the sword at
    the king’s house. 11:21Jehoash was seven years
    old when he began to reign.
    12:1In the seventh year of Jehu began Jehoash
    to reign; and he reigned forty years
    in Jerusalem: and his mother’s name was
    Zibiah of Beersheba.
    (Likely Jehu killed her. Not some Yahweh rightuoes priests. I will futher submit that Jehoash was NOT from the House of DWD but retained the title. <<<< SHOCKING
    The rest of this chapter claims Jehoash 'repaiered' the house of Yahweh. I think he built it! Not Solomon Jehoash!
    12:17Then Hazael king of
    Syria went up, and fought against Gath, and
    took it; and Hazael set his face to go up to
    Jerusalem. 12:18Jehoash king of Judah took all
    the holy things that Jehoshaphat and Jehoram
    and Ahaziah, his fathers, kings of Judah, had
    dedicated, and his own holy things, and all
    the gold that was found in the treasures of the
    house of Yahweh, and of the king’s house, and
    sent it to Hazael king of Syria: and he went
    away from Jerusalem. 12:19Now the rest of
    the acts of Joash, and all that he did, aren’t
    they written in the book of the chronicles of
    the kings of Judah? 12:20His servants arose,
    and made a conspiracy, and struck Joash at the
    house of Millo, on the way that goes down
    to Silla. 12:21For Jozacar the son of Shimeath,
    and Jehozabad the son of Shomer, his servants,
    struck him, and he died; and they buried him
    with his fathers in the city of David: and
    Amaziah his son reigned in his place.

    (It is hard to say if this last sentance is historical but iat least it's not full of propaganda. The next chapter will deal with how Israel reacted to this new dynesty.

  • Bart Belteshassur
    Bart Belteshassur

    HTBWC - "(Who killed the princes of Judah? It wasn't Athaliah! LOL..."

    I don't get this, if it was'nt her who was it?

    BB

  • Stormcrow
    Stormcrow

    The older NWT 2Kings 9:8 is awfully polite : " anyone urinating against a wall...;" the brand new NWT is politer still, it doesn't mention spending a penny at all. Curiouser and curiouser.

  • HowTheBibleWasCreated
    HowTheBibleWasCreated

    Bart. Jehu had already killed the princes of Judah in chapter 10. Athaliah had no reason to kill anyone.

  • Bart Belteshassur
    Bart Belteshassur

    HTBWC - In chapter 10 Jehu kills all the sons of Ahab, and then the brothers of Ahaziah the king of judea. In 11 Athaliah kills all the seed of Ahaziah the king of Judea, with the exception of Jehoash, hidden by Ahaziah's sister Jehosheba, the daughter of Jehoram king of Judea. You seem to have miss spelled his name in 11:2, or have you got a very unique copy of the MT/Lxx. Check it out.

    BB

  • Jeannette
    Jeannette

    The Bible in general is a big fraud and written in such a way that a lifetime of going to the K.H. you don't learn a thing about it. And that's a good thing.

  • HowTheBibleWasCreated
    HowTheBibleWasCreated

    Bart: I'm saying that the story is 90% propaganda and it is more likely Jehu in one war wiped out ALL the seed of Judah. The text base I'm using is thethe MT from the World English Bible mostly.

    Stormcrow: The phrase is literally 'urinate against the wall' and the WEB text I used here said that. I changed it to piss for 2 reasons:

    1. Richard Elliot Friedman in his translation of this text uses it with a footnote saying that the Hebrew idiom here demands a strong word. I will take Prof. Friedman's word for it since he is a Hebrew schoolar.

    2. The KJV uses pisseth (The -eth donating a verb) and is the most familier bible in usage.

  • Stormcrow
    Stormcrow

    HTBWC : Thanks for that. Any idea why the new NWT leaves it out entirely?

  • Apognophos
    Apognophos

    Stormcrow, that was actually mentioned specifically as an example of a change in the NWT at the AGM where the new Bible was introduced. Since the goal was to make the NWT clearer, and 'urinating against the wall' was an idiom referring to men, they simply changed it to say what it meant, not what it literally says.

  • Stormcrow
    Stormcrow

    Thanks for that Apog.

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