:When I first went online I still believed it was the Truth, although I had many questions and doubts.:
I would have to agree 100% with Prisca. I had not attended a meeting in 6 mos. and knew that I did not want to ever return. But I was so overwhelmed with guilt of not doing the right things (ie. field service, reading wt. crap, attending meetings, associating with JW), that I found myself severly depressed and in a psychiatric hospital under a suicide watch. It seemed nothing was working (therapy, medication, activities, reading WT crap, listening to Kingdom melodies) to help me get over the overwhelming desire to end my life (and I REALLY have a wonderful life). Anyway to make a loooonnng story short. I went into a chat room on AOL Disfellowshipped JW's (was very afraid), started chatting with a person name Life Value (never a witness, so I viewed her not an apostate, lol). She emailed me some incredible emails that had links to "Risky" JW site. And from there my life has change dramatically. Everything that I knew was not true about the Org. was validated. Every article they scanned, I looked up myself in the bound volumes of the Wathtower and Awake (my father's has every printed watchtower, they use to give you these blue binders, before the bound volumes and cd rolm). And to see these TRUTHS in black and white was like a ton of bricks unloaded from my mind.
My last hospital visit was April of 2000 (a 2 week stay), I found the internet the day I was released. My meds was cut in half in May 2000, therapy was discontinued in October 2000 and I was released from disability in November 2000. And also I have not taken one anti-depressant or sleeping pill since Oct. 2000 (took myself off).
I know this story is long, but my point is - I know the INTERNET is the only reason I have my life back, my family back, my dog back, my friends back. And I'm not discounting therapy or medication, because they were integral components to my survival and recovery. But with the WTBS crap clear out of my mind, I can actually understand what the therapists have been trying to show me.
Thanks for letting me share a portion of a long saga of my life. (you may be bored as hell, but I feel great).
Happy to be Free (Me)