Can only fellow apostates understand us?

sleepy

As a witness I often felt that I could only really get on , on a deep level with fellow witnesses.
They shared your outlook on life , and had similiar experiences and problems.Kids who grew up as witnesses had been through the same things in school as me.
So even though I could get on with other people , in a way I felt connected to other witnesses.Only they could understand me.

But know I feel an instant connection with apostates.
We now share the same things.In a even deeper way than when a witness , as what we have done has effected us even more.

Is it possible to connect in the same way with people who havent been through the same things as us?
Do you feel closer to others like you , and find it easier to make friends with such people?
Can non-apostates really understand us?

Amazing

Hi Sleepy: Yes. Ex-JWs have a bond to themselves, not unlike other ex-type groups, but unique to us. Ex-Mormons, for examle, find a lot of commonality with ex-JWs, yet it is not completely the same. I think we have something that is best understood by those who have walked in our shoes.

Cappuccino OC

I have no idea if I'm an apostate or not but I'm really disapointed with many religions. Child Abuse exists in 99% of world religions. I've also been studying about the origin of religions. The info has been very interesting.

Food for thought: Based on research & there can be errors in it so correct me & I'll look into it.

The catholic church was founded after Jesus Christ died by the apostle Paul. Christianity has only existed "formally" since Christ died.

Jesus was a jew & participated reading in the synogogue (sp. He spoke out against their wrong doings (Farises)

He ticked them off & he got killed for being OUTSPOKEN & going against the Jewish beliefs.

Back to your subject:

There is alot of people who are disapointed for learning the wrong doings of their religion. Every person thinks differently. There will be some who will be able to understand you & where you are coming from.

My question is: What do we do now? I whole heartedly believed(past tense) in the WTS. Will there be a big reform? What do we believe in now when all that you believed in "crashes" right in front of you?

voltaire

Sleepy,

Yes! That's why I love this forum. At first I felt so guilty coming here because I knew it was wrong. But these were the kinds of discussions I wanted to have and participate in. People here were asking the questions I wanted to ask. I knew that any discussions with elders would lead to a dismissive "wait on Jehovah".

I know that the people here understand me and I understand them. I tell my friends about what I've been through, but even though they're sympathetic, I know it's hard for them to relate.

ballistic

I couldn't agree more.
I have some extremely good friends now (having had all my old friends removed from me in the disfellowshipping process) but even so, there are things I can't explain to them and they wouldn't understand. It actually took me 5 years after being disfellowshipped for me to tell anyone I knew that I used to be a witness. I don't know if I was ashamed a little bit or I just thought people would pre-judge me, or at that stage I wanted to return so it made explaining my position difficult.
Whilst I agree entirely with you, I would also point out to anyone listening in that good friends in "the world" can also be trusted with your house keys, your wallet, your secrets and possibly your life. The only difference is you know it's a friend for life and that they won't be forced into cutting you off if you stray to far.

curlers

There are decent "worldly people" as the JWs call them who can be sympathetic to your cause. But no one will ever understand what its like to be raised as a JW as someone who's been there. And especially no one can understanding shunning except another DF JW. I've been DF's for over 20 yrs. I've moved on and can deal with it. Yet, when I tell someone about how my parents and siblings have nothing to do with me, they can't understand.

The world has changed so much in my 40 years. When I was a child, people were more strict, went to the church of their choice weekly. But today, with so much freedom in every aspect of life, no one gets it when you tell them how JWs are. I've gotten the feeling when I've told people about my JW upbringing and shunning, that they think I'm the crazy one.

FreeFallin

Even your best friend, if they have never been a witness, cannot grasp the feeling of shock or grief you feel when you find out the org. is nothing that you thought it to be.
Every one, no matter what they believe, knows that pedafiles(sp) are the most despicable creatures on earth. But try telling your best friend that the Society was associated with "the Wild beast, the great Harlot, etc." and they will look at you like you're nuts.

Free

gsx1138

Hey good thread. I'll share my little story on this subject. About 3 years ago I was working for a major software retailer. My boss and I became really good friends. He is the one that turned me on to Wicca. Anyway, I was telling him that I was raised a JW. He said he knew a few but didn't really know what they believed. So I explained the basics, 144k, armageddon, DF'ing, field service, etc..
Now, I was still convinced that the WTS wasn't a cult and that is even after 9 years of being DF'd. Well after I explained everything I just kind of sat there in silence. I had relayed all that information without a hint of emotion. I may as well been reading the ingredients to a box of Fruit Loops.
First thing he said was, "Sounds like a fucking cult to me."
Right after that I said, "Wow, I've never just said it like that. You know all matter of a fact. It does sound like a cult."
Anyway, to this day we still talk about religion but I know that he can never fully understand where I'm coming from. However, he is a pretty empathetic guy. I can just tell that most of you are able to relate allot better to being an exJW than he ever will.

larc

Oveja,

You brought up the question that we all ask when we leave. Where do we go now? Well, the beauty of it is that we can search any and all paths that we want. We can research any area of knowledge, be it religion, philosophy, science, history, the arts, literature, whatever, and we don't have to feel guilty about our intellectual pursuits. In my opinion, there is no one best way. The way we choose for ourselves is fine. I don't think a God in heaven would condemn any of us for learning and finding out what we can with our limited intellects and limited time.

Can only fellow apostates understand us?

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