Left the WTS as an atheist

by Elsewhere 7 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    I have realized that there are some misunderstandings regarding the circumstances of my leaving the WTS.

    I'll give a brief review… I was raised as a third generation JW and submerged underwater in a ritual called “baptism” in 1991. All of my family, and almost all of my extended family are in the WTS. My mother claims to be of the anointed, my grandfather clamed to be of the anointed, my dad is an elder, and my other granddad is an elder who has spent considerable time as PO. My family was the “model” JW family. We were used in assembly parts, even photographed for newspaper articles.

    When I left the WTS I was 25 years old. I sent the elders a letter of disassociation ( http://12.239.160.163/elsewhere/Disassociate.doc) and told my family and best friend. They were all shocked, but new that I had been drifting for at least a year. I told them that I was an atheist and did not believe in god or the supernatural.

    Here is where the confusion seems to be. People think that the WTS “burned” me; that they did something that made me angry with their god or that something bad happened to me. This is not true. When I left the WTS, I thought that it was a very good organization full of very good people. I spoke very highly of them when the subject came up. I even encouraged people to seek out JWs if they were interested in the bible or spiritual matters. I, on the other hand, just didn’t believe in god.

    I literally struggled with the concept of god and the supernatural all my life, for as long as I can remember. Some of my earliest memories are of this. For years I tried the suggestions of praying and forming a “personal relationship with god”.

    From time to time people tell me that I just didn’t try hard enough or that I was doing something wrong. I can’t accept that. I struggled for years… literally struggled with passion and full commitment to the point of tears trying to “feel” this god or form a “personal relationship” with it, anything. I did this all my life, year after year. The result: Nothing.

    People say I should try again without fully understanding what I went through.

    Now regarding why I don’t like the WTS. It wasn’t until a year or so after I left the WTS and started interacting with people outside the organization that I started to learn some things. It was OK to talk to people about things, even when we disagreed. It was OK for me to express ideas that differed from my friends and other people I was around. It was OK to express love and concern for anyone – not just a person in a certain organization (in my book handing out literature does not count as “love and concern”). It was OK for me to go to any web site I wanted or read any book I wanted. It was OK to tell someone “Happy birthday” or “Happy holidays” (one doesn’t have to believe in god to appreciate the benefits of the holidays).

    When I DAed myself, I was “in good standing”. At first when I left I never spoke ill of the JWs or the Organization. Even still, I was shunned. I had dared to leave. I had dared to disagree with them. I tried to explain to them (elders, family and friends) that just because I disagreed with them that it didn’t mean that I didn’t love them or care about them. I told them they were free to disagree with me and beyond that we could get along just fine. I wanted to coexist with them. I wanted to be able to have ideas that were different from theirs, and they to have ideas different from mine. All I asked was for us to mutually respect each other. They refused. It was their way or no way.

    It wasn’t until this started to happen that I started to dislike them. I started reading and talking to people, it was then that I started to realize just how messed up the WTS was. It wasn’t until I saw the organization from the outside that I saw the harm it was causing. That is when I started to hate the organization.

    "As every one knows, there are mistakes in the Bible" - The Watchtower, April 15, 1928, p. 126
    Believe in yourself, not mythology.
    <x ><

  • garybuss
    garybuss

    '


    Same thing happened with me.
    Here is my time line:
    1. I quit associating.
    2. They started to shun and snub me.
    3. They advised my sons to shun me.
    4. The shunning and snubbing pissed me off.
    5. I started to do my homework ( research)
    6. I confronted them with the information I found.
    7. They responded by lying to me and running away from me.
    8. I took my dissent public *AFTER* they would not reply to me.
    9. They seem to think I don't like them.
    10. They are right.

    All subject to change but so far none of them has made any move to make amends to me. I will just wait. :-)


    gb


    '

  • cellomould
    cellomould

    Elsewhere,

    I had a very similar experience also. When I left, a bit more than a year ago, I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping quiet. I didn't say anything negative about the WTS or JWs because I felt they were just a confused religious social group, like all the others.

    Well, I lost more than social status by becoming inactive. (I had been an MS)

    I lost respect that I deserved. I had to tell people why I had to terminate my engagement. I became viewed as weak and foolish. I knew otherwise.

    That really burned me. I have much confidence in who I am, and I think it's silly to accept the judgements of weak minds, but it still burned me.

    With all the indefensible doctrines of the JW religion, we are still on this board talking about it. How kooky.

    But hey, it takes a while to accept change. Even those that happen within us.

    cellomould

    "You're crying 'why am I the victim?' when the culprit is YOU" Stevie Wonder

  • gsx1138
    gsx1138

    Very interesting story Elsewhere. Although, I bet you still get all kinds of crap for being Atheist. I get enough BS for being Wiccan.

  • DanTheMan
    DanTheMan
    in my book handing out literature does not count as “love and concern”

    Amen brother, if you'll allow the religious language ;)

    I couldn't understand how distributing their corny, vacuous, esoteric magazines was supposed to be the highest form of love. Now they try and get that sick "Require" brochure in everybody's hands.

    I don't know what to think about God these days. Atheism requires absolute belief in evolution, which I've never been able to swallow.

  • Jewel
    Jewel

    Elsewhere-

    I could have written lots of this. When I drifted out, I still thought there was alot of good in the organization. I always said they knew more about the Bible than any other religion. It just didn't work for me. I simply couldn't accept the politics. And, finally, I decided that I couldn't worship Jehovah anymore because he just seemed too vindictive. I still have problems with the concept of a benevolent god.

    It was much later that I found out what was behind the scenes. And I've learned much more in the time I've been here.

    Jewel

  • rem
    rem

    Elsewhere,

    Your story is very similar to mine. I too struggled for many years in vain to develop a relationship with a deaf-mute god. At one point as I was conducting bookstudies out of the Greatest Man book I just about became a Jesus freak and came the closest I ever got to feeling like there was really something there. But then I realized it was all in my head and I was really just getting off on making other people cry when talking about Jesus and all of the supposedly great things he did for us.

    I also always had a great conflict within me between science and some extremely non-scientific and primitive concepts in the Bible. It's all like a haze now... I really can't remember if I actually believed in the Flood and the Tower of Babel or if I was just trying to make myself believe. Right now I can't imagine ever believing such balderdash! But that was ultimately my undoing from the Borg. Once people find out you're an Atheist, it's pretty much over. Oh, well... their loss. :)

    It feels good not having to pretend to love some invisible gray-haired man in the sky that likes to kill lots and lots of people. I still remember all of those pointless and repetative mealtime and bedtime prayers. I can't even remember how many bedtime prayers I fell asleep through. No need to feel guilty anymore! hehe

    rem

  • SPAZnik
    SPAZnik

    Elsewhere,

    Interesting. Thx for sharing this.

    I too did not 'hate' the organization.
    Still don't, not entirely.
    But I do loathe it when people,
    take it upon themselves to jump to judgements.
    I hate this quality in dubs, non-dubs, ex-dubs, whatever.

    I'm like, who died and made you gawd?

    From the outside, i feel i am less blinded to just
    how often this disgusting hurtful quality
    manifests itself within the borg.

    Like how anyone would presume to judge that because
    you don't believe in a God, you must be wicked or evil
    or you must have done something wrong? The point is,
    if THEY really believe in a God, they should keep their
    bloody opinions to themselves as far as judging you
    or your fate and worry more about whether their God
    will approve of them showing you such a lack of love
    as to shun you when all you did wuz tell them honestly
    who you are and what you don't believe.

    This whole 'religion' thing, particularly the
    judgementality part, rocks my 'spirituality' to the core.
    And I don't see that as a bad thing at this point.

    Wherever my spiritual journey takes me from here,
    I am much happier now that I'm borg-free.
    When I left them, I honestly don't think I
    fully expected to be as happy as I am now.

    blah-blah-blah-yadda-yadda-yadda (ok...I'm done)

    SPAZ

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