Cartholic Someone who only believes in god when car keys are missing, car won't start, police lights are in the rear view mirror, car is getting annual inspection, there's traffic when he's late.
Sally: John's an atheist right?
Ted: No, he's a Cartholic. I was at his house and he couldn't find his keys. He was like, 'Dear god, please help me find my keys. If I find them I'll go to church this Sunday.'