Not all of these questions apply to me, so I will just leave an "-" for any which are irrelevant
Tell us a little about yourself and your family.
I am a young adult in my 20's with family still in. Currently, it is totally impossible for me to leave due to family & business ties, as well as other reasons, so I am just lying low at the moment. Believe me, it's very complicated
Were you a born in or a convert?
Born-in
Are your parents / family JWs?
Yes, with some relatives in as well
How many generations have been JWs?
I'm the 2nd overlapping generation!
Did you hold any position in the WTS? (MS, Elder etc...)
I was a wannabe with privileges who did try to reach out further but got nowhere although I qualified, no thanks to the pharisaical elders who hindered my progress & made things impossible for me. So I stopped trying
Did you *really* believe in the bible, in spirits (angels, demons)?
Yes. All of that
Did you get baptised? When and why?
In my mid-teens. Why? Because I really believed that it was the truth & that it was time for me to take a stand for it
What was the initial trigger that made you start questioning things?
It was definitely frustration within the organization. I had a problem with pharisaical elders, as mentioned earlier, and I started to question things as I had tried "waiting on Jehovah" but it was not working
Where did you find information? Internet sites? Books?
Frustration with being in the "truth" led me to find alternative sources of truth, including this site. I was always a curious & inquisitive person by nature, so after spending my entire life listening to one side of the story, I decided that it was time to listen to the other side as well. I also read COC & found it to be a real eye-opener too!
How difficult or painful was the process of leaving?
I was surprised at how readily I accepted TTATT. It was as if I had known for a long time that the "truth" really wasn't the truth & hence my brain did not need much prompting to adjust to TTATT. The painful part to me was not learning TTATT sooner! Another painful part would come in the future when ties with family & friends are affected. That would be another story
Was it a big dramatic exit or a careful quiet fade?
Am trying to fade slowly & quietly now, but it won't be easy
Did you convince anyone else to leave with you?
-
How were your family relations affected by your decision?
-
Were you or are you still being shunned by those who didn't leave?
-
How long have you now been out?
Am still "in" but have been mentally out for around a year
Was there anything you looked forward to doing when you left?
-
What are you most proud of achieving since you left?
-
Is there anything you miss about life in the congregation?
-
Red pill or blue pill? Do you regret waking up to reality at all?
Red pill for sure. I do not believe in living a lie. No regrets at all
Did you become an atheist or transfer your faith elsewhere?
I still believe in God, but not in the god of the WT
How do you now feel about religion in general?
I believe that actions speak louder than words when it comes to religion
Do you feel any guilt celebrating xmas or birthdays or doing any other JW "no-no"s?
I simply don't have the desire to celebrate in the first place. After spending my whole life not celebrating stuff, I've already gotten used to it. I don't feel that I am missing out on fun because I can have fun anytime I want to. I don't feel the need to celebrate man-made festivals just to prove that I am mentally out. As for other "no-no's", it depends. Case by case basis. Common sense is my guide
Have you attended any face-to-face meetups of ex-JWs?
There aren't any in my area
Describe your circle of friends - mostly other ex-JWs or regular people?
A large number of JW's of course, an increasing number of regular people (I have been trying to boost this number for the past year or so), and then there's you guys
Do you tell people about your JW past?
Although I'm still "in", I am already refusing to identify myself as a JW. In fact, I have already revealed to some of my "worldly" friends that I am no longer a JW
Do you feel animosity or pity toward current JWs?
Animosity toward the self-righteous ones who make things difficult for others, sympathy & pity toward the others
How do you respond to witnesses when they call at your door?
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Storm the barricades or tend to the wounded? (do you favor activism or support)
A combination of both, but am more inclined towards support. When it comes to doctrine, storming the barricades tends to be counter-productive as it ignites the persecution complex & sometimes does more harm than good. However, when it comes to issues like child abuse, I am all for storming the barricades
What do you think is the most effective approach to reaching people still in?
Can't comment as I haven't really tried to reach people yet. As I said earlier, things are complicated for me & the last thing I would want is to be ousted & labelled as an "apostate"
Do you think the WTS can or should be destroyed, will continue on as-is or grow / change?
I don't think it can be destroyed at all. Even if by some chance something drastic happens & there is a mass exodus of followers, there would still be die-hards who would continue to believe until they die. I believe that growth will remain stagnant in developed countries but will continue to increase in 3rd world countries. I do not mind if the religion continues, as long as they get rid of flawed teachings & policies which cause unnecessary & irrepairable hurt & damage to others
How has your life been impacted by your JW past?
It's difficult to answer this question as it would require clones in a parallel universe to prove that life would have been better for me & my family had we not been JW's. What I can say is that I am trying to start a new life - one with the org in the background instead of at the forefront as what it was before. As it is not possible for me to date any sisters, I am currently embarking on a relationship with a pretty, non JW girl (secretly =P). I hate living a double life, but unfortunately am forced to do so with no choice
Are there things in your life you blame the WTS for?
I will give the same answer as I did in a previous thread -
http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/social/relationships/287215/1/I-Waited-Until-My-Wedding-Night-To-Lose-My-Virginity-And-I-Wish-I-Hadnt
After going through my teenage years trying to be the perfect JW, I realized that trying to live up to the standards imposed on me have been for worse & not for better. I was feeling miserable, repressed, unfulfilled, with a great lack of self confidence & self esteem. I was fortunate that it did not develop into something worse, like depression. Being awakened had a liberating effect on me. I no longer feel repressed, have much greater confidence, & am able to connect better with the opposite sex
JW upbringing - a protection or a curse?
Same parallel universe answer. However, I am sure that the negative things mentioned in my previous answer are as a result of my JW upbringing
How do you fill your time now it's not filled with meetings and field service?
I still go to meetings for the sake of family. I hate FS & go out as little as possible. Thus, I have more time for myself compared to the average witness =)
Do you still have an interest in JW beliefs and doctrines?
I have an interest in dissecting JW beliefs & doctrines
How much of your time is still spent on JW related matters?
I don't know. I hate counting time... lol
What do you think of the ex-JW community?
An interesting mix of people, mostly nice, but some pretty weird... ok, I think I better stop here
Do you see yourself still being associated with the ex-JW community in 5 or 10 years time?
I will be hanging around as long as there is something to interest me
Do you fear the future?
No. If God is love, why would I need to fear him? I have tried my best to live a good life, showing love to all, helping those who are in need to the best of my ability, & not causing hurt to others. So I trust that a God of love & mercy would judge me accordingly
What advice would you give to anyone starting the journey of leaving the WTS?
I would give this quote from The Oatmeal:
"Would you kill for your religion? Would you hurt, hinder, or condemn in the name of God? (Added in by me - Does your religion make you depressed?) Yes? Then you probably suck at your religion. You should give it up
HOWEVER
Does your religion inspire you to help people? Does it make you happier? Does it help you to cope with the fact that you are a bag of meat sitting on a rock in outer space and that someday you will die and you are completely powerless, helpless, and insignificant in the wake of this beautiful cosmic shitstorm we call existence? Does it help with that? Yes? EXCELLENT! Carry on with your religion!"
What would you change in your life if you could go back and talk to yourself?
Me: Hey, you
Me: Hey... (eyes narrow in suspicion) Who are you?
Me: I'm you. The future you
Me: Haha, very funny. Look, I don't know you & I don't have time for this nonsense, so if you could just get out of my way...
Me: (grabs hold of myself) Not so fast! Look at me!
Me: (studies the future me **sudden moment of recognition** stumbles backward in disbelief...)
Me: Believe me now?
Me: (panics) What the heck? Get away from me!!!
Me: Relax, ok? I'm here to help
Me: (freaking out) How could this be possible??? You must be a demon!!! (starts calling on Jehovah's name)
Me: If you would just relax...
Me: Get away from me, Satan!!!
Me: (punches myself)
Me: (wakes up from unconciousness, dazed & confused) Owww... my head...
Me: Wakey wakey, sleepyhead
Me: (moment of indignation & shock) You... you!
Me: Yes, me. Who is the same as you. The future you
Me: But... but... how is that even possible?
Me: That doesn't matter. Look, I'm here to help you
Me: You can help me by going away!
Me: (slaps myself)
Me: Owww... stop doing that!
Me: You mean this? (slaps myself again)
Me: Enough!
Me: Will you just listen to me?
Me: Ok, ok... just stop hitting me for goodness' sake...
Me: Good boy. Now, let's get this clear again. I am you. The future you
Me: Yeah right. Prove it
Me: (lifts up shirt & shows birthmark)
Me: (mouth hanging wide open)
Me: Believe me now?
Me: I... I...
Me: Look, I don't have much time so please pay attention. Here's what I want you to do...
Me: (interrupts myself) But you are the future me...
Me: (interrupts myself) That's what I said & I have proved it. So...
Me: (interrupts myself) So if you need me to do something for you, wouldn't that change things for you in the future?
Me: It will change things for you now. I am here because of what you do now, remember?
Me: (totally confused, blank expression on face)
Me: Hello. Are you with me? (waving palm in front of face)
Me: (trying to be a smartass) But what if I don't do according to what you say?
Me: Trust me, you will
Me: How can you be so sure?
Me: Because I am the future you
Me: Aaarrrggghhh!!!
Me: Got it?
Me: (still confused) So... what do you want me to do now?
Me: See that girl over there in the far distance? The one that you like & who you are secretly admiring?
Me: You mean... *****?
Me: Yes
Me: So what about her?
Me: Ask her out
Me: But... our religion forbids us to date worldly girls
Me: Well, I'm not a JW anymore
Me: You... you aren't?
Me: Nope
Me: That means since you are me, I mean... I am you... I mean... that means.....
Me: That means you won't be a JW in the future
Me: But it is the truth!
Me: Well, you think it is the truth. But I know now that it's not. Here, read this (hands over info from jw.facts)
Me: .......
Me: Look, I gotta go. The time portal is about to close
Me: But wait... I have so many questions to ask...
Me: The answers are all in there. Read it!
Me: But... but...
Me: Look, I really have to go. The time portal is closing & if I get stuck here, there would be 2 of us & I would have to kill you so that I can be me. Got it?
Me: (speechless)
Me: Adios! And remember to ask ***** out! Oh, and get her some flowers!
Me: (watches dumbly at myself entering into the time portal which closes & disappears)
Do you have any regrets about life since you left?
-
Can we read your life-story anywhere? (links to online or books)
Not at the moment