Moronic invitation from the WTS!

by TR 1 Replies latest jw friends

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  TR

  Any one been to the dialectizer website? It's a riot! I copied the "invitation" from the WTS's website, dialectized it, and copied it here for your reading enjoyment.

  Invitation "moronized":

  Our inbitashun t' you Webuh habe endgoyid talkigg t' you drough de pages of dis brochure. Gawlly!Webuh hope dat you habe endgoyid learnigg more bou' Dgehobah's Witnesses. Please accept our inbitashun t' bisit us at our local Kiggdom Hall. See duh, how our meetiggs are conbucked. See duh, how webuh endeabor t' share wid odehs de good news of a paradise eard undeh Christ's Kiggdom. God has promisid it. "Dehe are new heens 'n a new eard dat webuh are awaitigg accordigg t' his promise, uh uh uh, 'n in dese riteeousness is t' dwebuhll." (2 Peteh 3:13) Nineteen centuries habe passed. De waitigg pehiod approaches its end. World conbishuns signify dis. De fulfillmin of Dgesus' promise draws near: "As dese diggs start t' occur, raise yourselbes eheck 'n liff your gords up, cuz your delibehass is gettigg near."—Luke 21:28. "As you behold the, uhhh, day drawigg near," de apostle Paul said, uh uh uh uh, "consideh one anodeh t' incite t' lobe 'n fine works, duuhhhh, not f'sakigg de gadehigg of ourselbes togedeh." (Hebrews 10:24, 25) Our inbitashun t' you is, duuhhhh, Heid Paul's adbice by assembligg wid us. Copyrite © 2000 Watch Towebuhr Biggle 'n Track Society of Pennsylbania. All rites resehbed.

  TR
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  TR

  Same thing in "redneck".

  Our invitashun t'yo' We haf enjoyed talkin' t'yo' through th' pages of this hyar brochure. We hope thet yo' haf enjoyed larnin' mo'e about Jehovah's Witnesses. Please accepp our invitashun t'viset us at our local Kin'dom Hall, ah reckon. See how our meetin's is conducked, cuss it all t' tarnation. See how we indeavo' t'share wif others th' fine noos of a pareedise earth unner Jedt's Kin'dom, dawgone it. God has promised it. "Thar is noo hevvins an' a noo earth thet we is awaitin' acco'din' t'his promise, an' in these righteousness is t'dfine." (2 Peter 3:13) Nineteen centuries haf passed, cuss it all t' tarnation. Th' waitin' period approaches its ind, cuss it all t' tarnation. Wo'ld corndishuns signify this. Th' fu'fillment of Jesus' promise draws near: "As these thin's start t'occur, raise yournelves ereck an' lif' yer haids up, on account o' yer delivahance is gittin' near."—Luke 21:28. "As yo' behold th' day drawin' near," th' apostle Ebenezer said, "consider one t'other t'incite t'love an' fine wawks, not fo'sakin' th' gatherin' of ourselves togither." (Hebrews 10:24, 25) Our invitashun t'yo' is, Heed Ebenezer's advice by assemblin' wif us. Copyright © 2000 Watch Tower Bible an' Track Society of Pennsylvania. All rights resarved, cuss it all t' tarnation.

  TR