Non-JWs: Concerned friend or family is getting involved with Jehovah’s Witnesses?

by Londo111 9 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Londo111

  Dear Non-JW:

  Do you have a friend or family member who is studying? There are definitely valid reasons to be concerned, be it shunning, the many failed doomsday predictions, the risks of refusing blood transfusions, the organization’s unrepentant mishandling of child abuse, the stance of higher education, holidays, and everyone outside the organization.

  However, how you express your concern to them could make all the difference. The wrong approach might actually drive them deeper into the Jehovah’s Witness organization, not away from it. The following are a few tips that might be helpful. It is not the complete solution, but hopefully it will get you started and pointed in the right direction.

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-JKQWcu63s&list=PLyNx0oM_bmgAPkxpoL6pOB0CdY5anHbLC&index=7

  Hopefully this series will provide you an understanding of the Jehovah’s Witness mindset.

  Series playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyNx0oM_bmgAPkxpoL6pOB0CdY5anHbLC
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  Iamallcool

  Thank you for the video.
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  J-DUBBED

  Thanks for posting that........

  However after watching it, it now seems hopeless to get our son back to "Real" life.
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  Aroq

  J-DUBBED, with God anything is possible.
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  Londo111

  I can understand your pain…many of us here are undergoing it, if at a slightly different angle. The good thing is that you were never a JW and cannot be disfellowshipped.

  Browsing through some of your previous posts, four years is allot of indoctrination for your son. Unfortunately, this video is about those who are just getting involved, a year or less, prior to the making a commitment.

  Steven Hassan recommends appealing to the loved one’s authentic self, reminding him of happy times before the cult.

  From a JW perspective, technically there is no reason for him not to have contact with you. After all, the Bible says, “honor your father and mother”. There are even magazine quotes that show a person should not have to choose between family and religion (ironically). Perhaps sharing these quotes from their own publications could stir him to stay in contact with you.

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/bible/174959/1/No-One-Should-Be-Made-to-Choosee280a6-LIES-from-July-09-Awake

  Note the scan. In particular, the subheading, "Balancing Family Loyalty".
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  J-DUBBED

  It is always said they will have no where to go if they are DF'd. Freinds and family will shun then. Well yes maybe J-Dub family and J-Dub freinds(they were never freinds anyway) will do the shunning.

  We are the "Real" family(non J-Dubs) which are not going to be doing the "Shunning". Not to mention ALL of their Non J-Dub freinds they used to have...They won't be doin' the "Shunning".

  What a mixed up bunch of pricks. It's amazing with all the astranged shooters and serial killers there are always running around, like shooting innocent kids in schools, or opening fire in malls, etc. ........That someone doesn't say that's enough and just go ballistic in one of those J-Dub Clubs.

  They are a waste of skin and really continue fucking up good families. Yet they have the balls to go door to door and act so innocent and "Loving".
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  Londo111

  Good point: your son will have a support network should he leave. Many people here have found themselves cast out without that luxury.

  The problem is not the individuals--they are all mentally captive, just like your son, under ‘undue influence’. They sincerely believe they are being loving even when directed to act in the opposite manner. The group has a mind of its own. It’s almost as if the group mind ‘possesses’ them, overriding their authentic selves.

  Hopefully there is advice in the book Freedom of Mind that can be of use in your situation.
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  Londo111

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLuRYDFa0UA&index=8&list=PLyNx0oM_bmgAPkxpoL6pOB0CdY5anHbLC
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  J-DUBBED

  Yes Londo111 that Playlist #8 brings up some good points.......Real "eye opener".

  What's the chances if a guy was to forward something like that to my son to open his eyes?? After all he's not a "born in" he's a "pulled in".
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  Londo111

  At this point in the indoctrination, it could possibly be viewed as “apostate” and from his viewpoint, the worst thing that possibly could be forwarded to him. An Al Qaeda video might get better reception from an indoctrinated JW. I suspect your son would balk at each point and say, “We aren’t trying to convert people…it’s a choice…you can use your own Bible…we read the Bible in context.” And on some level, he would mean it. This series is strictly for non-JWs and those early on in their study.

  Of course, every now and then, a JW might go through a person of questioning or curiosity, and take a peek at what is out there. In that case, I believe it’s important that what they find doesn’t scare them away.

  I know myself having accidently stumbled upon some websites in the past, all black with flames and crazy allegations about conspiracies. It basically scared me back to the fold.

  Even when I was waking up, I was disinclined to trust even the most factual information out there, sites like JWFacts. I assumed from the start these sights contained lies, half-truths, and misrepresentations. Over time, I realized sites like JWFacts were 100% truthful, but it was an uphill battle.

  Addenum:

  I’m not sure if born-in vs convert may make a difference. In a poll, 2 out of 3 who were raised a JW no longer identify as such.

  Not every study converts. In fact, very few do. Somewhere along the way, most drop off, either because on not accepting teachings from the get-go, or the JW lifestyle being too intense and they do not want to radically alter their life (no holidays, door to door, ect). However, for the few that clear these hurdles, they are truly hooked.

  Just look at members of other cults, like Scientology. Many of them, like Tom Cruise, are converts.

  Consider what Terry says in this thread:

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/beliefs/289023/1/UBER-WITNESS-THE-ELITE-FORCE-a-study-in-how-a-fanatic-is-created